Lisa M. Schab LCSW - The Divorce Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Move Beyond the Break Up

When parents decide to divorce, it is rare that anyone can change their minds, not even their own children. It might feel like your parents are making this decision without considering you at all. Expressing your thoughts and feelings can help you realize their validity.

Bryan was shocked when his parents told him they were getting divorced. He knew they argued a lot, but they had argued since he was very young; he never thought they would actually split up. Bryans brother, Brad, was away at college. Bryan talked to Brad about the divorce a few times, but not to anyone else.

Eventually, Bryan felt himself getting angry. He was snapping at his girlfriend, he was short with his teachers and coach, and he was driving more aggressively than he used to. The divorce was on his mind all the time. He tried to talk to his mom and asked her if there were any chance they would change their minds. His mom just gave him a stern look and said no.

Bryan was supposed to write an English paper on something he felt strongly about. He had planned to write about the dangers of smoking, because his uncle had died from lung cancer. But when he sat down at the computer, his mind kept wandering to the divorce, and he found himself writing about that instead. He wrote what he thought and felt about his parents decision to end their marriage. When he read the paper out loud in class, he realized that it felt good to express his opinion and also to have someone listen to his side of things.

Pretend you have to give a speech telling both the negative and positive aspects of divorce. In preparation for your speech, write a list of the pros and cons here. Number your points in order of importance.

Now write a very brief introduction to your speech. What would you say to catch the audiences attention?

Tell how your personal experience with divorce affects how you feel about it as a life choice.

Tell why you do or do not feel that your parents listened to your feelings about their getting divorced.

__________________

__________________

Tell what you think about your parents decision to divorce. (Remember that thoughts are different from feelings.)

__________________

__________________

Do you think your parents will be happier living apart?

Do you think that they could have worked out their differences if they had tried harder? Why or why not?

__________________

__________________

If your parents had asked for your opinion before they made their decision, what would you have told them?

__________________

Tell how you feel about your parents decision to divorce. (Remember that feelings are different from thoughts.)

__________________

__________________

On a separate piece of paper, write a letter to your parents, telling them what you think and feel about their decision to divorce. (This is not a letter that you have to send. Talk with a counselor about whether it would be a good idea to share these thoughts and feelings with your parents.)