Hoefle - Duct Tape Parenting: A Less Is More Approach to Raising Respectful, Responsible, and Resilient Kids

Video Introduction

Praise for

Vicki Hoefle and Duct Tape Parenting

Parenting books are like diet books: They work for a while and then youre back to blimpdom. Duct Tape Parenting seems like something elsean idea thats workable for the long run, because, at base, it believes in the kids themselves.Lenore Skenazy, founder of the book and blog, Free-Range Kids Duct Tape Parenting is for every parent whos grown tired of picking up after the kids, taming sibling squabbles, and doing all the work around the house. In an age of overly involved parents, Vicki Hoefle offers a battle cry of sanity. I read her book in one weekend, immediately put her wisdom to use, and saw results right away. I was stunned. If you want to change the dynamic in your household and nurture self-reliant, thoughtful, and resilient children, read this book.Katherine Ozment, contributing editor and weekly columnist for Boston Magazine Vicki Hoefle does an amazing job in Duct Tape Parenting of providing relatable, helpful advice. Her approach is unique and extremely thought provoking. This is a must-read for parents who are tired of advice that does not work and need a re-charge for their families.Vanessa Van Petten, author, RadicalParenting.comIn this gem of a book, Vicki Hoefle gives parents a commonsense approach to raising respectful, responsible, and resilient children. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth manner helps parents clarify their goals for their families, understand the roots of behavior, and develop a path to creating a happy, healthy, and supportive family life.Amy Lew, PhD, author of Raising Kids Who Can The most important family dynamic that we have achieved as a result of Vicki Hoefles approach is one of mutual respect. We feel like a team, like four people who can depend upon each other. This book is a must-read for any family who is looking to create a supportive unit built on honesty and trust.Katy Smith Abbott, Dean of Students and Assistant Professor of the History of Art and Architecture, Middlebury CollegeAn informative and irreverent guide, this book is a must-read for anyone who wants to raise resilient, problem-solving children. Vicki Hoefle offers a Goldilocks way forward: not too much parenting, not too little, just right.Craig Idlebrook, writer and parent-educator with the Boot Camp for New Dads Project. www.bootcampfordads.orgIf you are interested in more positive family relationships and raising capable children who will courageously step into adulthood, take the opportunity to read this book. It is never too late to change your life.Cindy Pierce, mother, innkeeper, comic, author of Finding the Doorbell, Sexual Satisfaction for the Long Haul This is a must-read for every parent, parent educator, and teacher. The exercises help you identify the problem and the little reminders tell you exactly what to doputting on the duct tapewhen to do, and why to do. As a counselor and educator, I recommend this book wholeheartedly to every parent and any individual who works with children. The ideas are so applicable, that I will use some of them in my classes, even at the graduate level! And as a parent my duct tape is ready...finally.Bengu Erguner-Tekinalp, PhD, Assistant Professor, Counselor Education, Drake UniversityRarely does a book come along that offers parents solid information about why a parenting style is so important, tools and tips that make it easy to try, and inspiration that keeps us afloat as we find our way. Vicki Hoefle is the real deal. Shes parented five kids and taught thousands of parents with this approach. This book should definitely be on the top of your stack!Dina Emser, Certified Positive Discipline Lead Trainer, author of Roadmap to Success and Trusting the Fortune Within Hoefles straightforward approach to empowering our children debunks the parenting myths that often cause unnecessary stressors that are all too common within families. Her techniques and highly identifiable case studies demonstrate that it is possible for parents to have mutually respectful relationships with their children, while lovingly engaging with them and providing the knowledge that builds their abilities, confidence, and independence.Dawn Lyons, freelance writer and editor, teen consultant and advocate, www.linesbylyons.com

First published by Bibliomotion, Inc.
33 Manchester Road
Brookline, MA 02446
Tel: 617- 934- 2427
www.bibliomotion.com

Copyright 2012 by Vicki Hoefle

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN 978-1-937134-20-4 (enhanced ebook)
ISBN 978-1-937134-18-1 (print)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Hoefle, Vicki.
Duct tape parenting : a less is more approach to raising respectful, responsible, and resilient kids / Vicki Hoefle.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-937134-18-1 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Parenting. 2. Child rearing. I. Title.
HQ755.8.H588 2012
649.1dc23
2012025600

For my husband, Iain, and children,
Hannah, Colin, Zoe, Kiera, Brady and Michael,
Brie and Mason.

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

Its a lot easier teaching other peoples kids than parenting my own.

And while teaching has brought me five minutes of fame on The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric and to the White House Rose Garden to meet the President and First Lady, parenting has offered me no such accolades or acclaim. Sure, the hugs from my kids and seeing their progress in life are great intrinsic rewards, but a whole lot of parenting, for me, has at times felt really thankless and downright hard.

I admit it, when we had our first child, I had never so much as held a newborn before. I had no clue. And while in other parts of my life I had ample trainingfor my teaching I had years of classes, student teaching, and professional development, and for my competitive swimming there were lessons, teams, and coaches showing me the wayfor parenting I felt like I had been thrown into the deep end of the pool, not knowing how to even tread water.

Now, in my mind, my wife Megan must have had it all figured out. She is naturally nurturing, has a close relationship with her own parents, had held and even babysat kids for years. When we had baby number one, Megan was reading lots of parenting books, sharing what she was learning with me over scattered dinners as we switched off holding and bouncing this squirmy being who did not seem to prefer a quiet and leisurely meal.

And, yet, one day we found ourselves on the landing of our townhouse stairway, the first baby now a three-year-old who had been out of sorts since our second child was born a few months earlier. Said three-year-old was screaming from the downstairs bathroom for her mom to come wipe her bottom, which we knew full well she was capable of doing herself. Megan tried to tell her such, which only escalated her screaming, whining and demanding of her mothers help and full attention, now , no matter that (or perhaps because) the baby was also crying and needing attention from his mom.

Then, my usually poised and confident wife, with figurative steam coming out of her ears, melted down, right there on the stairway landing. After a few unmentionable words under her breath, she said, Thats it. I give up. I am contacting Vicki Hoefle, NOW!

Megan had heard about Vicki Hoefle and her program from a colleague, had been looking at Vickis website and liked what she was reading. So, that fateful day, Megan wrote an e-mail to Vicki, explaining the bottom-wiping situation, and telling her, I have half a PhD and, in this seemingly simple, everyday situation, I have absolutely no clue what to do. Our relationship with Vicki was born that day, and we havent looked back.

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