Lisa Lutz - Heads You Lose

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ALSO BY LISA LUTZ

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lutz, Lisa.

Heads you lose / Lisa Lutz and David Hayward.

p. cm.

eISBN : 978-1-101-48652-8

1. NovelistsFiction. 2. Brothers and sistersFiction. 3. AuthorshipFiction.

I. Hayward, David, date. II. Title.

PS3612.U897H

813.6dc22

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

While the authors have made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the authors assume any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

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For Jerry and Linda

EDITORS NOTE

Dear Reader:

In the spring of 2009, the New York Times bestselling crime novelist Lisa Lutz decided to collaborate on a murder mystery with a longtime friend (and ex-boyfriend), freelance editor and poet David Hayward.

The practical workings of the collaboration were as follows: Lutz would write the first chapter and all odd-numbered chapters thereafter. Hayward would write the even ones. They would not outline or discuss what they were working on. Each author would read the others chapter blind. Neither author was allowed to undo a plot development established by the other.

A few details about the presentation of the text warrant explanation: The footnotes within each chapter are comments made by the reading author. The authors also exchanged brief messages when a chapter was completed; these appear at the end of each chapter. The authors initial messages to each other about the potential project are presented on the pages immediately following this Editors Note.

Lutz told me she saw the project as an experiment, a challengea new way of writing that might spur creativity to higher levels. I leave it to you to judge the results.

For reasons that will become obvious, both authors refused to come together to revise their work. I present it to you in its original form. While unorthodox in structure, it is nevertheless a novel. It just happens to tell more stories than either author intended.

Dave,

I just finished the first chapter of a new novela real crime novel with a dead body and alland I thought of you. And not in the way you might expect.

Ill cut to the chase: What would you say about making a go of another collaboration? And, no, I have not recently suffered a head injury. Theres just something about this project that makes me feel like two heads might be better than one.

I know what youre thinking. Yes, our last attempt at collaboration, The Fop , was an epic disaster. A monthlong volcano of insults followed by a few years of complete silence qualifies, yes? Sometimes I dont know how we survived it (not to mention several other battles). But this is, what, thirteen years later? Were older, wiser, and probably too tired to fight with that level of vigor.

And maybe The Fop was doomed from the start. When it came down to writing it in the sober light of day, it might not have been the bulletproof idea it seemed over pitchers of beer at the Kilowatt. The story of a double-agent valet hiding behind the identity of his moronic yet flamboyant master is basically a B-movie version of Jeeves and Wooster . (Although, honestly, I still think theres something there. It just wasnt our fate to realize the vision.)

More importantly, we were writing that thing in the same room. Facial expressions can ratchet up an already stressful experience. I also think its worth mentioning that this was back in your poetry days, and frankly, your touches of poignancy and high-art references were severely out of place in a broadly comic, mainstream undertaking.

Really, I accept equal blame for it. I had no patience and was often quite rude. Let me just offer up an overall mea culpa. But forget about The Fop . This is not The Fop . This is an as-yet-untitled crime novel that I think has some potential.

Okay, time to address the other elephant in the room. I know youre still bitter about you-know-what. Its true, in the very beginning, you helped brainstorm a few character details and offered some valuable footwear consultation. But it was always my screenplay, not a joint venture. And after the brutal struggles over The Fop , did you really expect me to ask you to collaborate again? Still, I know you felt betrayed, especially since The Fop went nowhere and my solo project got made (even if it did go straight to video). But thats all in the past. This is my olive branch to you. Maybe Im a sucker for unfinished business, but I still believe we have some creative symbiosis.

If youre game, let me know and Ill send you the first chapter along with a few minor stipulations. If not, no offense taken. Im sure I can find some other ex-poet interested in slumming it in the world of mainstream fiction.

Lisa,

And hello to you, too. A word or two of personal greeting would have been niceafter all, its been a few months since I saw you at Franks. But I guess the businesslike approach is part of your strategy for this new project. I think I get it.

And we did almost have something with The Fop , didnt we? Clear away the romantic debrisand maybe the last half-hour of every writing sessionand it really might have worked. I still laugh every time I think of the ski lodge scene (after he retrieves the monocle). Can you name a funnier movie sequence in the past decade? I cant.

But yeah, communication was never our strong suit. For example, the news that you considered The Fop a broadly comic, mainstream undertaking would have been useful in 1997. If Id known we were aiming that low, I would have punched up the crotch gags, and maybe the last thirteen years would have gone differently for me. But lets leave all that in the past. Im sorry, too.