Askins - Hand to God: a play

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that all plays in this book, being fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States, the British Empire including the Dominion of Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union, are subject to royalty. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio and television broadcasting, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved. The stock and amateur performance rights in the English language throughout the United States, and its territories and possessions, Canada, and the Open Market are controlled by Dramatists Play Service, Inc. No professional or nonprofessional performances of the plays herein (excluding first class professional performance) may be given without obtaining in advance the written permission. Inquiries concerning all other rights should be addressed to Scott Chaloff, William Morris Endeavor Entertainment. 141 Wooster Street New York, NY 10012 www.overlookpress.com For bulk and special sales, please contact ,
or write to us at the address above. 141 Wooster Street New York, NY 10012 www.overlookpress.com For bulk and special sales, please contact ,
or write to us at the address above.

Copyright 2018 by Robert Askins All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast. ISBN: 978-1-4683-1718-3

The freshest and funniest Broadway comedy in years Hand to God is to plays as The Book of Mormon is to musicals it entertains the devil out of you. A DAM F ELDMAN , Time Out NY Mr. Askinss black comedy about the divided human soul stands out merry and scary and very welcome. C HARLES I SHERWOOD , The New York Times An irresistible, intelligent, heartbreaking blood-dark comedy, its as disturbing as it is funny, vile as it is violent and, to my mind, better for both.

J ESSE G REEN , New York magazine The Broadway comedy Hand to God is so ridiculously raunchy, irreverent, and funny, its bound to leave you sore from laughing. Ah, hurts so good. Askins proves deft at writing dialogue thats hysterical and at serving insights about organised religion and family discussion. J OE D ZIEMIANOWICZ , New York Daily News As touching as it is screamingly funny Askinss most impressive talent, though is his ability to make us laugh while juggling those big themes that make life so terrifying: death, depression, alcoholism, sexual guilt, emotional repression, religious hypocrisy and the eternal battle between your good puppet and your bad puppet. M ARILYN S TASIO , Variety Darkly funny Askins is clearly interested in exploring the psychology of grief, repression of human nature and adolescent unease on his own unconventional terms, while also making what for many will be quite provocative statements about the moral ambiguities of Christianity. D AVID R OONEY , The Hollywood Reporter Askins provides a series of beautifully sculpted scenes that intensify in danger.

Arguably the best play of the Broadway season. D AVID F INKLE , Huffington PostROBERT ASKINSs Hand to God opened on Broadway in April 2015, following two critically-acclaimed off-Broadway runs, where it was named a New York Times Critics Pick and called the most entertaining show of 2014. His plays include The Squirrels, The Carpenter, and Permission, which had its world premiere off-Broadway at MCC Theater. He has received two EST/Sloan grants, the Helen Merrill Emerging Playwrights Award, and an Arch and Bruce Davis Award for Playwriting. Rob is an I-73 and Youngblood alum and a graduate of Baylor University. This play is for my father

Hi! Hello! How are you? My name is rob askins and I wrote the play youre holding in your hands and if you are holding this script I would like to say congratulations.

The play section is usually very small and hard to find. Its always in some corner next to poetry or maybe books about music or graphic novels or whatever. So if youre reading these words then it isnt by accident. You must have heard something about this thing. You must have sought it out or ordered it online and now you are here reading the foreword. So odds are youre a theatre person and not just any theatre person, youre a theatre nerd.

So congratulations nerd this, now, is your play. I wrote it but you now have a copy, which means you can make it. You cant charge money for the ticket or my agent will get very angry and thats a whole thing, so dont, but you can now make this play, even if its just in your head. So now its our play and I want you to know I take that very seriously. When I was 22 living in Texas and bartending and writing plays and dreaming about New York, I would go to the bookstore and pick up the scripts for plays that had won things and I would sit in the aisle and read them all day. I remember reading a very famous play that won everything and looking up when I finished it and going Really? Thats it? Thats the funny thing about what you have in your hands.

This is a blueprint. It is a suggestion. It is a speech bubble in a long conversation. It is an invitation to play. So to prepare you to make this play here are some things I would like you to know. Puppet ministries are real.

My mother ran one. I was in it. Go on-line Google it real quick. Youll see. A couple hundred dollars and a dream and you too can have your own. The puppet I had never talked to me.

It never bit off anybodys ear and my mother never had sex with a teen (that I know of), but my father did die and I had a hard time with that. So take our play seriously but know there are jokes here. Chicken fried steak has no chicken in it, but it is delicious and you should try it if you get the chance. It is the national dish of Texas. This play is about Texas and the people who live there. Like chicken fried steak we are strange and delicious and if you get us right some things in our play will be easier to understand.

Read Tyrone in a funny voice. It will help. If you are not funny have a funny friend read it. If you are funny look in a mirror and say the lines. That will help you get a better understanding of this play. I love these people and if our play is going to be any good you should love them too.

They are trying very hard. The play will not be good if you make fun of them. Try to understand them. They are in pain. Just like you. Our play is big.

When people feel they feel all the way. When they cry they scream. When they love they hit. This might not make sense to some people, but other people will know what Im talking about. If you dont get it give it the benefit of the doubt. You might have a different kind of family.

This play does not hate God. It does not hate church or Jesus. It is frustrated by them. It wants them to be better. It wants people to be better and if it hates anything it hates easy answers and people who have stopped looking. Scare your audience.

Try to turn them on. Make them laugh. Make them cry. Make them scream. Go for the jugular. BITE THEM.

MAKE THEM EAT PAPER. IN THE THEATRE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, SO DO EVERYTHING. This applies even if you are the only member of the audience. I hope you like our play. I hope it makes you laugh. I hope it makes you feel something.