Hensley - #IMomSoHard

Before we get started, let us tell you how we got the idea to #I MOM SO HARD.

We both lived in Nebraska through college, but we never found each other even though its not heavily populated and you can see for a hundred miles in every direction. We had all the same friends. We were studying the same subjects, and we went to all the same bars. Kristins roommate was even in an improv group with Jen, and yet we never met. It was like Sliding Doors, but with more Cornhuskers gear. A bunch of near misses.

After college, we both moved hundreds of miles away from Nebraska and somehow ended up only a block apart from each other in California. Not that we knew it, though. We were doing all the same things, had all the same friends, and we still never met. We werent total twinsiesJen was into weird witchy shit (shes not a Wiccan or anything, but she believes in crystals and stuff) and felt naked without jewelry, and Kristin was more of a tomboybut it is insane that the stars didnt align and arrange a meet-cute for us.

And then one day, the universe caught us. We found ourselves outside a small, weird theater that used to be a hair salon, drinking brews in the parking lot, which was a welcome throwback to our Nebraska days, minus the banging sounds of Warrant. Even that night, it took us a while to meet. We kept circling and narrowly missing each other, until, finally, we were back-to-back loud-talking to different people about Nebraska. We both turned to each other in unison and said, Wait. Youre from Nebraska?

Now imagine a Rolodex flipping really, really fast as we shouted out the names of every single person that we knew in common. It was like we were mad at each other:

We exchanged phone numbers and started hanging out a day or two later. We just began in the middle. It was like we didnt have time to pussyfoot around, so we acted like wed known each other all along. We got each other right from the beginning. You know when youre a little kid and you would stare awkwardly at the kid in front of you and ask, Do you want to be my friend? And that kid would say, Yes, and then you were bound for life? That was us. One of us would call the other and be like, Hey, Ive got Ritz and spray cheese and half a bottle of wine left. You want to come over? And the other one would say, Give me five minutes. It felt like being home.

We hung out constantly. We flipped each others shit, and we laughed. A lot. When you have a friend who can make fun of you for your excessive gray hairor your lip hairits the most wonderful medicine. It takes all the air out of how serious any situation is, and thats what we try to do for each other. We also respected each other, and we celebrated each others wins. Not everything was a friggin Hallmark movie or one big Sarah McLachlan song, but for the most part, we had a sense of humor, and we were tougher together.

We met during that Im not sure what Im doing with my life, but I know that Im doing it wrong phase of adulthood. If youre single, you start to feel like you should be married. And if youre married, you ask yourself, Why did I do this to myself? Because we were both single, we spent most of our time on our careers: Kristin as a teacher and a commercial actor (when the work came), and Jen as a salesperson for skincare products and a writer (when the work came).

We were able to be very patient and understanding with one another because we were both fighting the same good fight: survival. Keeping your car running. Paying your bills. Going to the dentist. Looking happy. You know, the same stuff you try to do now, only while youre also keeping unappreciative children alive.

When we didnt talk for a few weeks, we still picked up from where we had left off. You know those kinds of friends? The ones where you dont have to say, Ive been busy, Ive been sad, Ive been lazy, etc.? You can just say cheers and open the floodgates? Everyone needs one of those, and thats who weve been for each other.

Eventually, we both got married. Then we went through pregnancy together, and that sealed the Friends-for-Life deal for us. Its amazing that a friendship can get even deeper after you have kids, but the right mom friend is a lifesaver. Because, lets face it, when youre a new mom, you feel incredibly isolated. You feel so far away from family, from work, from friends. But one of us would call, and before the phone was even hung up, thered be a knock at the door, and someone who got it would be on the other side. Within minutes, wed both be crying, both feeling like utter failures, wondering, Why doesnt anybody tell you its like this?

One day, after Jen wiped snot from her chin with the back of her hand, she said, You know what? We crack each other up. I bet other moms could use a laugh, too.

Between us, we had four small children, zero time and even less energy, and no real plan, so we thought, Yes. We wanted to make something for you to watch when youre up in the middle of the night worrying about SIDS or whether youd seen the To Catch a Predator van on your streetsomething that would cheer you up instead of making you think about how everyone you love will eventually die.

And of course, we did it wrong. We decided we were going to be like talk-show hosts, thinking that if we were super happy and peppy, wed make other moms happy and peppy. People love Rachael Ray, right? The problem was, peppy was the furthest thing from how we felt.

When we were ready for our first shoot, Kristin had a raging period and cystic acne so big and so covered in blush that it looked like shed put a clown nose on the wrong part of her face. Jen was sweaty and had on a cardigan that was too tight and too hot. Shed been breastfeeding and was so engorged that her sweater was coming apartand not in a good way. Her eyes were little slits. You could barely even see them. It was like shed just lost a fight.

We started filming, and Kristin chirped in her best Kelly Ripa, Hello! and introduced herself and her kids. When it was Jens turn, she introduced herself and said her sons name, and then she froze.

My daughters name is... [crickets].

SHE HAD FORGOTTEN HER DAUGHTERS NAME.