Milligan - Rommel? Gunner Who?: a Confrontation in the Desert
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- Book:Rommel? Gunner Who?: a Confrontation in the Desert
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Rommel? Gunner Who?: a Confrontation in the Desert: summary, description and annotation
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Spike Milligans legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies since they first appeared.
The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read Sunday Express
Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and marvelous anecdotes Daily Mail
Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar Sunday Times
Keep talking, Milligan. I think I can get you out on Mental Grounds. Thats how I got in, sir. Didnt we all.
The second volume of Spike Milligans legendary recollections of life as a gunner in World War Two sees our hero into battle in North Africa - eventually. First, there is important preparation to be done:...
Milligan: author's other books
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A Confrontation in the Desert
Edited by Jack Hobbs
PENGUIN BOOKS
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL , England
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)
Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephens Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd)
Penguin Group (Australia), 707 Collins Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3008, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd)
Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi 110 017, India
Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd)
Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, Block D, Rosebank Office Park, 181 Jan Smuts Avenue, Parktown North, Gauteng 2193, South Africa
Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL , England
www.penguin.com
First published by Michael Joseph 1974
Published in Penguin Books 1976
Reissued in this edition 2012
Copyright T. A. Milligan, 1974
All rights reserved
ISBN: 978-0-24-196617-4
PENGUIN BOOKS
GUNNER WHO?
Spike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he was educated in India and England before joining the Royal Artillery at the start of the Second World War and serving in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, touring Europe with the Bill Hall Trio and the Ann Lenner Trio, before joining forces with, among others, Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe, to create the legendary Goon Show. Broadcast on BBC Radio, the ten series of the Goon Show ran from 1951 until 1960 and brought Spike to international fame, as well as to the edge of sanity and the break-up of his first marriage. He had subsequent success as a stage and film actor, as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and childrens stories, and with his long-running one-man show. In 1992 he was made a CBE and in 2001 an honorary KBE, and in 2000 and 2001 he received two Lifetime Achievement Awards for writing and for comedy. He died in 2002.
To my dear brother Desmond
who made my boyhood happy and with whom
I have never had a cross word,
mind you he drives his wife mad
19 Battery on train to Embarkation Port fighting off a ticket inspector
Once again I am deeply grateful to Mrs Chater Jack, widow of our C.O. and late Lt Colonel Chater Jack, M.C., D.S.O., for the use of the private letters, diaries and documents which she so willingly lent me and is patient enough to let remain in my possession for this second volume, also to Al Fildes for his diary, and Harry Edgington for permission to publish his letters, plus the lads from the Battery who lent me the odd photo or letter, to Mr Rose and Mr Greenslade of the Ministry of Defence to Mr Mayne of the War Museum for the loan of photographs and to Syd Price for photos he took during the War and to BART H. VANDERVEEN for permission to use two photographs of the Humber Snipe wireless truck and also thanks to Derek Hudson for the loan of the photograph of Anthony Goldsmith.
S.M.
19 Bty 56 Heavy embarking for Africa
Of the events of war, I have not ventured to speak from any chance information, nor according to any notion of my own. I have described nothing but what I saw myself, or learned from others of whom I made the most careful and particular enquiry.
Thucydides. Peloponnesian War.
Ive just jazzed mine up a little.
Milligan. World War II.
Overture
H.Q. Afrika Korps Tunis. Jan. 1943
Smell of German Ersatz Eggs, Sausages and Marlene Dietrich.
A phone rings. General Stupenagel salutes it, and picks it up.
STUPENAGEL: Speilen!
GOERING: Do you know were von Rommel is? This is Urgent.
STUPENAGEL: General von Urgent?
GOERING: Dont make wiz zer fuck-about! vere is Rommel?
STUPENAGEL: He is in zer shit-house.
GOERING: Vot is he doing in zere at zis time of zer morning.
STUPENAGEL: He is doing zer schitz he was bombed all night.
GOERING: Donner Blitzen!
STUPENAGEL: Hes in zer shit-house too.
GOERING: Listen! Ve have had Bad News!
STUPENAGEL: Dat sounds like bad news!
GOERING: Our spy, Mrs Ethel Noss, in zer Algiers NAAFI, says dat zer Pritishers have brung zer heavy Artillery into Africa.
STUPENAGEL: Gott no!
GOERING: Gott yes! Zey are going to make shoot-bang-fire mit 200 pound shells.
STUPENAGEL: Oh, Ger-fuck!
GOERING: Tell Rommel, zer Fhrer wants him to got mit zer Panzer and make vid zer Afrika Korps, Schnell!
Scene changes to a German latrine in a Wadi near Shatter-el-Arab
Enter STUPENAGEL
STUPENAGEL: Rommel, vich one are you in?
ROMMEL: Number Zeben.
STUPENAGEL: You must go to Tunis at once.
ROMMEL: Let me finish going here first.
STUPENAGEL: Zere is a crisis out zere.
ROMMEL: Zere is a crisis in here; no paper. (screams, sound of scratching)
STUPENAGEL: Vat is ger-wrong?
ROMMEL: Itchy Powder on zer seat!
STUPENAGEL: Ach zer Pritish Commandos have struck again.
Now read on:
If you read the first volume of this trilogy, you will know that in Jan. 1943 19 Battery 56th Heavy Rgt R.A. had arrived in the continent of Africa, which couldnt have cared less. We were in X Camp, soldiers under fourteen couldnt get in without their parents. Calling it X for security was beyond comprehension because there, in foot high letters, was the sign No 201 PoW Camp. I could hear the Gestapo Mein Fhrer, ve have cracked zer Britisher Code! X, it means 201 PoW Camp! Soon we will know what PoW means. The Camp, situated up a dusty track fifty yards from the main Algiers Road, was a rectangle covering five acres surrounded by a double barbed wire fence fifteen feet high. The view was beautiful, the light clear, brilliant, like Athens on a midsummer day. Stretching to our left was a gradual curve of the coast with a laticlave of yellow sand and finally, Algiers proper, barely visible in the distance. To the right, turning crescent-like was another beach that terminated in a dazzling white lighthouse on Cap Matifou. This was all described in the Regimental diary thus:
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