Mortimer - Mortimer & Whitehouse

Published by Blink Publishing

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Hardback 978-1-7887-019-5-2

Ebook 978-1-7887-020-3-4

All rights reserved. No part of the publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted or circulated in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission in writing of the publisher.

A CIP catalogue of this book is available from the British Library.

Typeset by seagulls.net

Copyright Owl Power, 2019

Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse have asserted their moral right
to be identified as the authors of this Work in accordance with
the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All images Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse, except p. 6, 22, 78, 92, 111, 198, 234,
244 John Bailey; p. 60, 102, 217 Getty Images; and p. 206 Bridgeman Image Archive.

BBC and the BBC logo are trademarks of the British Broadcasting Corporation
and are used under licence. BBC logo BBC 1996.

Every reasonable effort has been made to trace copyright holders of material reproduced in this book, but if any have been inadvertently overlooked the publishers would be glad to hear from them.

This work contains general information on heart health. The information is not medical advice and should not be treated as such. The information is provided without any representations or warranties, express or implied.

Blink Publishing is an imprint of Bonnier Books UK

www.bonnierbooks.co.uk

Bob: To my beautiful wife, Lisa, for all her kindness, fast dancing and wonderful singing

Paul: Dedicated to Harry Whitehouse

Paul: Fishing. Put simply its a wonderful way to spend a day or two.

Simon Peter saith unto them, I go afishing.
They say unto him, We also go with thee.
They went forth, and entered into a ship immediately;
And that night they caught nothing.

The Book of John, Chapter 21: Verse 3

A few years ago, Mortimer and Whitehouse hadnt gone fishing.

Well, thats not quite true. Paul had hes been doing it all his life; never stopped.

But Paul and Bob had never been fishing together.

And if youre reading this now, you might be like Bob was then.

You might have always wanted to go fishing.

Maybe you thought, You know what? Im thoughtful. I like fish. I dont mind the outdoors. Im exactly the sort of person who Ive always thought would enjoy a good angle.

You might have dreamed about an imaginary riverbank as you drifted off of an evening, of the dark and tempting shadows gliding gracefully beneath the waters and the weight of these alien shapes tugging on the gossamer thin line that you hold in your hands.

Perhaps you watched Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing and said wistfully to your companion (human, canine or feline): You know what, Alan? That does look like fun. Ooh, Id quite like to give that a go. And Alan will have rolled his eyes, remembering how you were also really keen on making a cake after you caught the second episode of The Great British Bake Off, and how you once told him you were thinking of moving to Bridport while the trailer for Broadchurch played in the background.

Maybe you remember fondly messing about in rivers in your youth, which seems both an impossibly long time ago and as vivid as if it were yesterday, and wonder if it would be possible to recapture the wonder of those long-gone days.

You might have been sitting on the Tube, heading into work, and sleepily pictured yourself crunching through an early-morning frost, pushing past a knot of low, twisted trees and finding a suitable spot where the grass has been smoothed down by a previous anglers arse or a slumbering deer. With the noise of coots pottering about and the sound of tiny scurrying from the hedgerows, you can see yourself sitting down, casting out, and before you, the river. Its low and constant bubbling roar, like the sound of blood rushing through your ears, is the soundtrack for your day. Next to you is a Thermos full of hot coffee and a plastic box filled with cling film-wrapped sandwiches, an apple, some Smiths Square Crisps and a Drifter.

And the journey home wellingtons squeaking as you hoist a duffel bag full of fish onto your back, their damp weight showing the world youve worked hard to put your dinner on the table tonight. And then the train stopped at Euston and you forgot all about it.

You might have pondered buying a rod, or even have one gathering dust in a shed, and you daydream of breaking it out, blowing the dust off and just heading out somewhere only you dont quite know where yet.

For many people, those idle thoughts and vague hopes are as close as theyll come to fishing.

There are a lot of reasons why so many of us dont ever go fishing. Were busy, we dont know how to get started, we dont know where to go, we dont want to get in trouble

But it shouldnt be like that.

If you want to, you could go fishing.

If you want to, you should go fishing.

But everyone needs someone to give you a helping hand to get you started. An eager friend to help you make that first step.

Hello! Nice to meet you, mate. Were Bob and Paul. And were taking you fishing!

Fishing has brought us so much enjoyment over the years. Its also given us a TV series, which we made because we wanted to show people why its such a unique and joyful thing to do.

We were spurred on to doing it because of some health worries, but now were both as fit as fiddles, we still cant wait to go. What might have started as a bit of physical and mental therapy is now a total passion that we share.

One thing that came out of the series is wed meet a lot of people whod watched the show and they would always say the same thing: theyd love to be able to go fishing, but they didnt have a clue how to get started.

So we thought, You know what? We should write a book, and then instead of people being sad and unable to fish, we can recommend they pick it up and it will tell them everything they need to know!

But its not just the mechanics of putting a hook in the water. A lot of people assume fishing is solely the act of catching a fish. Thats a big part of it, but thats not the whole story.

For us, its also getting out into the beauty of the British countryside: its spending quality time with an old friend that otherwise you might not see; its being gifted an inner calm which is harder and harder to find these days; its the well-earned pint afterwards, one you really feel you deserve, and the dissection of the day just gone; its the countless delightful little moments that you didnt even realise would appear until youre there, right in the thick of it, and BOOM, there they are; its just a wonderful way to spend a day. Or two. Or more.

When we decided to write this book, we didnt just want to give you a beginners manual on how to fish. We wanted to tell you