Murthi - Rib-Tickling Jokes

G od be praised! He has gifted man the ability to laugh, buttressed it by providing most people with a sense of humour. Effectively used, it smooths ruffed feathers, averts ugly confrontations, defuses anger, silences the foul mouth, takes the wind out of the sails of the brag and the conceited, dispels gloom and tears, inducts cheer and bonhomie.

Show me a man who doesnt laugh at good jokes! And I can show you a man whose soul is so dead that he rightfully belongs to the world of the dead. He is a ghost, walking the world of the living. This book is not for those, who like this man, have forgotten what it is to laugh, lost the ability eons ago and trudge, with weary feet, casting gloom wherever they go.

This book is a mixed bag. It contains original jokes I had shared with friends, relations and acquaintances during interaction with them. It also draws from a variety of jokes I read, in books or came across in newspapers and magazine during the last forty years and recorded in my diary, which may well be called the Writers Notebook. So this is a priceless collection of jokes that tickled me a lot. Share them with others, play with them deftly and see how they seek you out and your company and tell you to your face that you are an invaluable asset, a fairy spirit with a magic wand that inducts mirth and merriment into even the most prosaic and colourless of settings. In brief, you become the priceless gem much sought after by society, look upon you as the star of the show at social gatherings.

How many books can stake such a claim? Dont chaff at it, dismiss the claim as one that comes with a bang and ends with a whimper. That is not true as far as this book is concerned. It comes with a burst of laughter and tickles the audience with the best of jokes. Not once does the flash of wit wilt or fag.

Need anything more be said to recommend this book as one to possess? Have it always within reach. Pick it up when you feel out of sorts, down in the dumps. Turn to any page. Instantly your spirits shall be revived; and you shall feel light and gay.

Can one ask for anything more!

New Delhi

4.6.2000

R.K. Murthi

Adam was feeling terribly bored in the Garden of Eden. How long can one stay all alone!

I want company said he to God.

Fine. But I need something to shape a companion.

You cant create something out of nothing?

I can. But it would be just of the air, airy. You want something of the earth, earthy. How about giving me your arm. I shall turn it into.? No, God. I hate the idea of being one-handed.

Then give a leg?

Not till I am alive.

Then what can you spare? God asked.

Let me think, Adam started counting his eyes, his nose and then his ribs. His eyes brightened. Take a rib. Just one rib, he smiled at God.

God removed the rib, waved his hand and changed it into Eve.

Adam wasnt pleased. He scowled, This is to be my companion? God walked away saying, What more did you expect of a rib?

St Peter organized a millennium party and sent out invitations to all the angels and saints. He had their addresses. But he ran into trouble when he wanted to invite Adam and Eve. He told his secretary, Can you send someone to invite Adam and Eve, the original ones who lived in the Garden of Eden?

The secretary assigned an ace detective to do that. He had no problem tracking down the only couple who didnt have belly buttons.

Adam and Eve were the centre of a debate in which a politician, a doctor and an engineer were involved.

The doctor asserted that his was the oldest profession. God created Adam and Adam demanded that he be given a companion. God demanded Adam to spare a rib which could be turned into a suitable companion. And that needed a delicate operation, one that demanded exceptional medical skill, so argued the doctor.

Fine, as far as your argument goes. But you forget that someone struggled against the chaos and confusion that existed and constructed the earth in six days. That is where the engineering skill was first fully exploited, the engineer sounded quite confident that he had a perfectly sewed up case.

I wont deny you just credit. But who do you think created the chaos and the confusion in the first place? the politician had the last laugh.

Mary and Thomas were taking their breakfast.

Thomas turned the pages of the paper, while Mary started preparing tea. Thomas spotted an ad that tickled him. He turned to her and said, Here is an ad for a bridegroom.

Whats strange about it?

The ad is inserted by a woman. She says she is wealthy, attractive, stylish and controlling, Thomas paused.

Did you say controlling?

Yes. Thomas nodded.

I wonder whether anyone would bite that bait? she was certain.

But why?

Would you apply, if you were still a bachelor?

No.

Why not?

Because I dont want a woman who loves to control, Thomas set the paper aside.

Exactly. If this woman bags a man, I can only pray for him,