Strauss - The Game

Those who have read early drafts of this book

have all asked the same questions:

IS THIS TRUE?

DID IT REALLY HAPPEN ?

ARE THESE GUYS

FOR REAL?

Thus, I find it necessary to employ

an old literary device...

THE

FOLLOWING

IS A TRUE

STORY.

IT REALLY HAPPENED.

Men will deny it,

Women will doubt it.

But I present it to you here,

Naked, vulnerable, and

disturbingly real.

I beg you for your forgiveness in advance.

DON'T HATE THE PLAYER...

HATE THE GAME.

MEN WEREN'T REALLY THE ENEMY

THEY WERE FELLOW VICTIMS

SUFFERING FROM AN OUTMODED

MASCULINE MYSTIQUE THAT MADE

THEM FEEL UNNECESSARILY

INADEQUATE WHEN THERE WERE

NO BEARS TO KILL.

BETTY FRIEDAN

The Feminine Mystique

The house was a disaster.

Doors were split and smashed off their hinges; walls were dented in the shape of fists, phones, and flowerpots; Herbal was hiding in a hotel room scared for his life; and Mystery was collapsed on the living room carpet crying. Hed been crying for two days straight.

This wasnt a normal kind of crying. Ordinary tears are understandable. But Mystery was beyond understanding. He was out of control. For a week, hed been vacillating between periods of extreme anger and violence, and jags of fitful, cathartic sobbing. And now he was threatening to kill himself.

There were five of us living in the house: Herbal, Mystery, Papa, Playboy, and me. Boys and men came from every corner of the globe to shake our hands, take photos with us, learn from us, be us. They called me Style. It was a name I had earned.

We never used our real names-only our aliases. Even our mansion, like the others we had spawned everywhere from San Francisco to Sydney, had a nickname. It was Project Hollywood. And Project Hollywood was in shambles.

The sofas and dozens of throw pillows lining the floor of the sunken living room were fetid and discolored with the sweat of men and the juices of women. The white carpet had gone gray from the constant traffic of young, perfumed humanity herded in off Sunset Boulevard every night.

Cigarette butts and used condoms floated grimly in the Jacuzzi. And Mysterys rampage during the last few days had left the rest of the place totaled and the residents petrified. He was six foot five and hysterical.

I cant tell you what this feels like, he choked out between sobs. His whole body spasmed. I dont know what Im going to do, but it will not be rational.

He reached up from the floor and punched the stained red upholstery of the sofa as the siren-wail of his despondency grew louder, filling the room with the sound of a grown male who has lost every characteristic that separates man from infant from animal.

He wore a gold silk robe that was several sizes too small, exposing his scabbed knees. The ends of the sash just barely met to form a knot and the curtains of the robe hung half a foot apart, revealing a pale, hairless chest and, below it, saggy gray Calvin Klein boxer shorts. The only other item of clothing on his trembling body was a winter cap pulled tight over his skull.

It was June in Los Angeles.

This living thing. He was speaking again. Its so pointless.

He turned and looked at me through wet, red eyes. Its Tic Tac Toe.

Theres no way you can win. So the best thing to do is not to play it.

There was no one else in the house. I would have to deal with this. He needed to be sedated before he snapped out of tears and back into anger.

Each cycle of emotions grew worse, and this time I was afraid hed do something that couldnt be undone.

I couldnt let Mystery die on my watch. He was more than just a friend; he was a mentor. Hed changed my life, as he had the lives of thousands of others just like me. I needed to get him Valium, Xanax, Vicodin, anything. I grabbed my phone book and scanned the pages for people most likely to have pills-people like guys in rock bands, women whod just had plastic surgery, former child actors. But everyone I called wasnt home, didnt have any drugs, or claimed not to have any drugs because they didnt want to share.

There was only one person left to call: the woman who had triggered Mysterys downward spiral. She was a party girl; she must have something.

Katya, a petite Russian blonde with a Smurfette voice and the energy of a Pomeranian puppy, was at the front door in ten minutes with a Xanax and a worried look on her face.

Do not come in, I warned her. Hell probably kill you. Not that she didnt entirely deserve it, of course. Or so I thought at the time.

I gave Mystery the pill and a glass of water, and waited until the sobs slowed to a sniffle. Then I helped him into a pair of black boots, jeans, and a gray T-shirt. He was docile now, like a big baby.

Im taking you to get some help, I told him.

I walked him outside to my old rusty Corvette and stuffed him into the tiny front seat. Every now and then, Id see a tremor of anger flash across his face or tears roll out of his eyes. I hoped hed remain calm long enough for me to help him.

I want to learn martial arts, he said docilely, so when I want to kill someone, I can do something about it.

I stepped on the accelerator.

Our destination was the Hollywood Mental Health Center on Vine Street. It was an ugly slab of concrete surrounded day and night by homeless men who screamed at lampposts, transvestites who lived out of shopping carts, and other remaindered human beings who set up camp where free social services could be found.

Mystery, I realized, was one of them. He just happened to have charisma and talent, which drew others to him and prevented him from ever being left alone in the world. He possessed two traits Id noticed in nearly every rock star Id ever interviewed: a crazy, driven gleam in his eyes and an absolute inability to do anything for himself.

I brought him into the lobby, signed him in, and together we waited for a turn with one of the counselors. He sat in a cheap black plastic chair, staring catatonically at the institutional blue walls.

An hour passed. He began to fidget.

Two hours passed. His brow furrowed; his face clouded.

Three hours passed. The tears started.

Four hours passed. He bolted out of his chair and ran out of the waiting room and through the front door of the building.

He walked briskly, like a man who knew where he was going, although Project Hollywood was three miles away. I chased him across the street and caught up to him outside a mini-mall. I took his arm and turned him around, baby talking him back into the waiting room.

Five minutes. Ten minutes. Twenty minutes. Thirty. He was up and out again.

I ran after him. Two social workers stood uselessly in the lobby.

Stop him! I yelled.

We cant, one of them said. Hes left the premises.

So youre just going to let a suicidal man walk out of here? I couldnt waste time arguing. Just have a therapist ready to see him if I get him back here.

I ran out the door and looked to my right. He wasnt there. I looked left. Nothing. I ran north to Fountain Avenue, spotted him around the corner, and dragged him back again.

When we arrived, the social workers led him down a long, dark hallway and into a claustrophobic cubicle with a sheet-vinyl floor. The therapist sat behind a desk, running a finger through a black tangle in her hair. She was a slim Asian woman in her late twenties, with high cheekbones, dark red lipstick, and a pinstriped pantsuit.

Mystery slumped in a chair across from her.