Ian Fleming - Diamonds Are Forever

BITTER CHAMPAGNE

IM not going to sleep with you, said Tiffany Case in a matter-of-fact voice, so dont waste your money getting me tight. But Ill have another and probably another one after that. I just dont want to drink your Vodka Martinis under false pretences.

Bond laughed. He gave the order and turned back to her. We havent ordered dinner yet, he said. I was going to suggest shellfish and hock. That might have changed your mind. The combinations supposed to have quite an effect.

Listen, Bond, said Tiffany Case, itd take more than Crab-meat Ravigotte to get me into bed with a man. In any event, since its your check, Im going to have caviar, and what you English call cutlets, and some pink champagne. I dont often date a good-looking Englishman and the dinners going to live up to the occasion. Suddenly she leant towards him and reached out a hand and put it over his. Sorry, she said abruptly. I didnt mean that about the check. The dinners on me. But I did mean it about the occasion.

Bond smiled into her eyes, Dont be a goose, Tiffany, he said, using her name for the first time. Ive been longing for this evening. And Im going to have just the same as you. And Ive got plenty of money for the check. Mr Tree tossed me double or quits for five hundred dollars this morning, and I won.

At the mention of Shady Tree, the girls manner changed. That ought to cover it, she said toughly. Just. You know what they say about this joint? All you can eat for only three hundred bucks.

The waiter brought the Martinis, shaken and not stirred, as Bond had stipulated, and some slivers of lemon peel in a wine glass. Bond twisted two of them and let them sink to the bottom of his drink. He picked up his glass and looked at the girl over the rim. We havent drunk to the success of a mission, he said.

The girls mouth turned down sarcastically at the corners. She drank half the Martini at a gulp and put the glass down firmly on the table. Or to the heart-clutch I only just survived, she said dryly. You and your dam golf. I thought you were going to tell that man all about the chip shot you holed in oughty-ought. A little encouragement and youd have taken out a club and one of those balls and shown him your swing.

You made me nervous. Clicking away at that dam lighter trying to get your cigarette to work. I bet you put the wrong end of that Parliament in your mouth and lit the filter.

She gave a short laugh. You must have got eyes in your ears, she admitted. Dam nearly did just that. Okay. Well call it quits. She finished her Martini. Come on. Youre not much of a spender. I want another of these. Im beginning to enjoy myself. And how about ordering dinner? Or dyou hope Ill pass out before you get around to it?

Bond beckoned to the maitre dhotel. He gave the order, and the wine waiter, who came from Brooklyn but wore a striped jacket and a green apron and had a silver chain with a tasting-cup round his neck, went off for the Clicquot Rose.

If I have a son, said Bond, Ill give him just one piece of advice when he comes of age. Ill say Spend your money how you like, but dont buy yourself anything that eats.

Helln Marier, said the girl. I must say this really is life with a small 1. Cant you tell me something nice about my dress or something instead of grumbling the whole time about how expensive I am? You know what they say. If you dont like my peaches, why do you shake my tree?

I havent started to shake it yet. You wont let me get my arms round the trunk.

She laughed and looked with approval at Bond. Why Heavens to Betsy, Mistah Bond, she said. Yo all sure do say the purtiest things to a gal.

And as for the frock, Bond continued, its a dream, and you know it is. I love black velvet, especially against a sunburnt skin, and Im glad you dont wear too much jewellery, and Im glad you dont paint your fingernails. Altogether, I bet youre the prettiest smuggler in New York tonight. Who are you smuggling with tomorrow?

She picked up her third Martini and looked at it. Then very slowly, in three swallows, she drank it down. She put down the glass and took a Parliament out of the box beside her plate and bent towards the flame of Bonds lighter. The valley between her breasts opened for him. She looked up at him through the smoke of her cigarette, and suddenly her eyes widened and then slowly narrowed again. I like you, they said. All is possible between us. But dont be impatient. And be kind. I dont want to be hurt any more.

And then the waiter came with the caviar, and suddenly the noise of the restaurant burst into the warm, silent room-within-a-room which they had built for themselves, and the spell was broken.

What am I doing tomorrow? repeated Tiffany Case in the voice one puts on in front of waiters. Why, Im going to sashay off to Las Vegas. Taking the 20th Century to Chicago and then the Superchief to Los Angeles. Its a long way round, but Ive had enough flying for a few days. What about you?

The waiter had gone. For a while they ate their caviar in silence. There was no need to answer the question immediately. Bond suddenly felt they had all the time in the world. They both knew the answer to the big question. For the answers to small ones there was no hurry.

Bond sat back. The wine waiter brought the champagne and Bond tasted it. It was ice cold and seemed to have a faint taste of strawberries. It was delicious.

Im going up to Saratoga, he said. Im to back a horse thats to make me some money.

I suppose its a fix, said Tiffany Case sourly. She drank

.some of the champagne. Her mood had changed again. She shrugged her shoulders. You seem to have made quite a hit with Shady this morning, she said indifferently. He wants to put you to work for the mob.

Bond looked down into the pink pool of champagne. He could feel the fog of treachery creeping up between him and this girl he liked. He closed his mind to it. He must get on with tricking her.

Thats fine, he said easily. Id like that. But who is The Mob? He busied himself with lighting a cigarette, conjuring up the professional to keep the human quiet.

He could feel her looking sharply at him. It put him on his mettle. The secret agent took over and his mind began to work coldly, watching for clues, for lies, for hesitations.

He looked up and his eyes were candid.

She seemed satisfied. Its called the Spangled Mob. Two brothers called Spang. I work for one of them in Las Vegas. Nobody seems to know where the other one is. Some say hes in Europe. And then theres somebody called ABC. When Im on this diamond racket, all the orders come from him. The other one, Seraffimo, hes the brother I work for. Hes more interested in gambling and horses. Runs a wire service and the Tiara at Vegas.

What do you do there?

I just work there, she said, closing the subject.

Do you like it?

She ignored the question as being too stupid to answer.

And then theres Shady, she went on. Hes not a bad guy really, except hes so crooked, you shake hands with him you better count your fingers afterwards. He looks after the cat-houses and the dope and the rest of the stuff. There are plenty of other fellers-hoodlums of one sort and another. Tough operators. She looked at him and her eyes hardened. Youll get to know them, she sneered. Youll like them. Just your type

Hell, said Bond indignantly. Its just another job. Ive got to earn some money.

There are plenty of other ways.

Well, these are the people youve chosen to work for.

Youve got something there. She laughed wryly, and the ice was broken again. But, believe me, youre getting into the big league when you sign up with the Spangles. If I were you, Id think the hell of a long time before you join our cosy little circle. And dont go and get in wrong with the mob. If youre planning anything of that sort, youd better start taking lessons with a harp.