Angus Croll - If Hemingway Wrote Javascript

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Contents

Guide

Illustrations by Miran Lipovaa

NO STARCH PRESS

IF HEMINGWAY WROTE JAVASCRIPT.

Copyright 2015 by Angus Croll.

All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or

mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written

permission of the copyright owner and the publisher.

Third printing

26 25 24 23 22

3 4 5 6 7

ISBN-10: 1-59327-585-4

ISBN-13: 978-1-59327-585-3

Publisher: William Pollock

Production Editor: Alison Law

Cover and Interior Illustrations: Miran Lipovaa

Cover Design: Beth Middleworth

Interior Design: Ryan Byarlay and Beth Middleworth

Developmental Editor: Seph Kramer

Copyeditor: Rachel Monaghan

Compositor: Alison Law

Proofreader: Emelie Burnette

For information on distribution, translations, or bulk sales, please contact No Starch Press, Inc. directly:

No Starch Press, Inc.

245 8th Street, San Francisco, CA 94103

phone: 415.863.9900; ;

www.nostarch.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Croll, Angus.

If Hemingway Wrote JavaScript / by Angus Croll.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-59327-585-3 ISBN 1-59327-585-4

I. Title.

PS3603.R64I38 2014

811'.6dc23

2014031873

No Starch Press and the No Starch Press logo are registered trademarks of No Starch Press, Inc. Other product and

company names mentioned herein may be the trademarks of their respective owners. Rather than use a trademark symbol

with every occurrence of a trademarked name, we are using the names only in an editorial fashion and to the benefit of the

trademark owner, with no intention of infringement of the trademark.

The information in this book is distributed on an As Is basis, without warranty. While every precaution has been taken in

the preparation of this work, neither the author nor No Starch Press, Inc. shall have any liability to any person or entity with

respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in it.

This is a work of parody. It imitates various authors voices and styles for comic effect.

To Lucy,

George, and

Rosie

Thank you to Miran Lipovaa for his amazing

artwork, which has added so much to this

book, and to Jacob Thornton, who, two years

ago, invited me to write the original blog post

on which this book is based.

Thanks to Andrea Pitzer, author of

The Secret

History of Vladimir Nabokov

(Pegasus Books,

2013), for reviewing the Nabokov section;

Chris Kubica, editor of

Letters to J.D. Salinger,

(University of Wisconsin Press, 2002), for

reviewing the Salinger section; and Joel

Turnbull for reviewing the Joyce section.

Thanks also to Lucy Kaminska and Graeme

Roberts for their contributions. David Foster

Wallaces prime number solution was inspired

by a solution by Mohammad Shahrizal

Prabowo (JavaScript Sieve Of Atkin.js,

https://gist.github.com/rizalp/5508670

).

Thanks to Bill Pollock at No Starch Press for

being persuaded to take on this project against

his better judgment, and to Alison Law, Seph

Kramer, and everyone else at No Starch for

their sterling work and for putting up with my

stubbornness.

And a special thanks to the 28 authors, poets,

and playwrights who feature in this book, and

to Brendan Eich for inventing JavaScript.

Acknoledgments

by Jacob Thornton

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inspired by Edgar Allan Poe

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inspired by William Shakespeare

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inspired by Dylan Thomas

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inspired by Walt Whitman

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Contents

Angus and I came together over a shared

fascination with the outsidethe outside

being any art, literature, or other expression

that runs counter to Silicon Valley.

Around 2012, this coalesced into ##ABC,

an IRC book club that never actually read

anything. Instead, we were something like a

support group, gathering to make sense of our

work, what we were doing, and how we were

doing it, within the world and through the lens

of art and literature.

Some of these conversations later informed

writings on

http://byfat.xxx

posts like

Divya Manians excellent YES PlZ LETS

BURNNNN or my rien ne tient en place.

But none was quite so well received as Anguss

If Hemingway Wrote JavaScript.

Angus managed to perfectly articulate an issue

central to many of us: our antipathy toward The

Good Parts and the general rhetoric of the best

way. And he did so by celebrating JavaScripts

voice and variety, through exploration and

experimentation. He was making the language

Foreword

ours, and it was precisely this ownership that

served to liberate its potential for expression

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