Tommy Spaulding - The Gift of Influence : Creating Life-Changing and Lasting Impact in Your Everyday Interactions

Influence is a superpower. You can use it to create good results or bad results. In The Gift of Influence, Tommy Spaulding teaches us that our greatest leadership legacy is the influence we have on those who choose to follow us.

Lee Cockerell , retired executive vice president of Walt Disney World and author of Creating Magic

The Gift of Influence is Tommy Spauldings best work yet! This is one of those books that can actually change the world, change lives, and certainly change organizations.

Jodi Rolland , managing director of JPMorgan Chase

Tommy Spaulding has written his best book yet, because he has the gift of influence, and I have benefitted greatly from that gift. Like no one has ever done, he spoke into me, stayed connected with me, and even trusted me with the people he cared for most. Now, The Gift of Influence is a gift to everyone who wants to increase the impact of their personal influence. I am thankful for Spaulding and I am thankful for this book.

Stephen Arterburn , author and founder of New Life and Women of Faith

Spauldings book is a reminder that human interaction is a chance to bestow a gift. His storytelling ability, vulnerability, and powerful message make The Gift of Influence one of the most memorable books I have ever read.

Dolf Berle , former CEO and president of TopGolf Entertainment Group

The Gift of Influence will open your heart and expand your mind regarding what is possibleyour personal impact in the world. The pages overflow with deep and timeless wisdom punctuated with vulnerability and transparency. Tommy Spaulding is a gift to the world!

Mark Miller , vice president of high-performance leadership of Chick-fil-A and bestselling author of The Heart of Leadership

In these days when influencer has become a job description, it would serve us well to remember what the word actually means and, more important, what the practice really is. Your personal influence is far greater than you think, and with this book you will expand your impact beyond what you ever thought possible. The Gift of Influence is a gift to us all.

Steve Farber , author of The Radical Leap, Greater Than Yourself, and Love Is Just Damn Good Business

Fifty-one days before my fiftieth birthday, I was on a Southwest Airlines flight bound for Denver. It was a bumpy ride, and the seatbelt sign kept flashing on. As we began our descent, we hit a patch of turbulence and the plane dropped a few hundred feet. Luggage fell, drinks spilled, passengers cried out. As a lot of people do in these situations, I started praying. Except I wasnt praying for the plane to recoverI was praying for it to crash.

I wanted to stop living. If the plane went down, my family would get a nice insurance settlement and I could have a dignified death without anyone knowing how painful my life had become. But the 737 leveled off and we landed safely in Denver. As I watched the other passengers unbuckle their seatbelts, text their loved ones, and go about their lives, I felt a terrible wave of shame. A plane crash would have solved my problems, but the other folks on the plane didnt want to die. No ones troubles are worth the lives of a hundred innocent people.

The truth is, by that moment I had lost all hope. I was unable to see the good in people; I saw only cynicism, deception, and hate. This was the result of a perfect storm of three awful situations that had collectively reached a fever pitch.

The first involved the ex-husband of my wife, Jill. When I met Jill nearly twenty years before, she was divorced with a three-year-old son, Anthony. I immediately fell in love with them both, and proposing to her remains the best decision Ive ever made. When Jill and I had children of our own, I was determined that Anthony would feel equally loved. I was also determined to include his father, Mike, in our family.

At first Mike didnt like the idea of another father figure in Anthonys life, but he warmed up to me. Jill and I invited him over for birthdays and holidays. Mike and I went to hockey games with Anthony. We even vacationed together in Mexico as one big family. But as Anthony and I grew closer, Mike became verbally abusive toward me. When he began making serious threats, I called the police, and a judge granted a lifetime restraining orderhis bullying had become that bad. But the damage was done, and the ordeal brought my family to the breaking point.

The second situation involved a woman I had partnered with to build a leadership development program for organizations. She was very talented, but after six months it became clear that our values did not align, and I pulled out of the business. A few months later, my closest family, friends, and clients gathered for the launch of my second book, The Heart-Led Leader. It was one of the happiest moments of my lifeuntil a man walked up to me at the book-signing table to serve me papers. My former partner was coming after half of all my future book royalties and speaking fees. Her lawyer threatened to ruin me if I didnt cave. By the time I boarded that Southwest flight, the lawsuit had cost me over a hundred thousand dollars in legal fees.

Finally, while I was battling in court, I made the worst business decision of my life: I bought a sub sandwich franchise. I had a dream of hiring disadvantaged high school kids and teaching them leadership skills in the workplace. I had everything planned outexcept how to actually run a sandwich shop. My store location was awful, I was chained to a long-term lease, and before long I was losing more than $10,000 per month and careening toward bankruptcy.

I was essentially living two lives. The first was as Tommy Spaulding, bestselling author who gave inspirational speeches to capacity crowds. This Tommy Spaulding was a leadership expert with an all-American family who coached everyone from Fortune 500 CEOs to high schoolers. But when the lights dimmed and the crowd went home, when the checks cleared and the music stopped, I was Tommy Spaulding, the failed sandwich maker who lived out of a suitcase. This Tommy Spaulding was getting sued for millions of dollars and traveling for work 250 days per year so he wouldnt have to give up his house or pull his kids out of private school. This Tommy Spaulding met new people and imagined all the terrible ways they would try to hurt and take advantage of him. This Tommy Spaulding taught leadership skills to thousands of people, then got on an airplane and prayed for it to crash.