Tommy Spaulding - Its Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life

Dedicated to my father, Tom Spaulding Sr.,
the greatest man I have ever known.

In loving memory of Anthony DAquanni,
Tom France, Paul Gillett, Keli McGregor,
and Lori Nolan.

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My dad graduated from Dale Carnegies first course in 1927, so I grew up on How to Win Friends & Influence People. Carnegies concepts are timeless in terms of beginning relationships. And yet Tommy Spaulding realized there was more. He has learned a lesson that I think only comes with age: you finally become an adult when you realize that life is all about serving rather than being served, giving rather than getting, and, as Zig Ziglar often says, Realizing that people dont care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Tommys teaching in this book is about developing genuine, lasting relationships. These are the kind of people who, if youre hurting and call for support, are out the door to help youno questions asked. They show up to cover your back when the going gets rough. In short, theyre there for you. Why? Because they know youd do the same for them.

Im a big fan of Tommy Spaulding and Its Not Just Who You Know. Read this book. Apply its wisdom and live its principles. I guarantee the payoff will be amazing for you and the people whose lives you touch. Youll generate what Tommy calls Return on Relationship or ROR. Practicing these principles not only improves the financial health of individuals, organizations, and communitiesit brings joy and fulfillment as well.

Life is about more than winning friends and influencing peopleits about serving others. When you make a difference in other peoples lives, guess what? It makes a difference in your life, too. Thanks, Tommy.

Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute
Manager and Helping People Win at Work

I t was Dale Carnegie and his book How to Win Friends & Influence People that got me started on nurturing and developing the relationships that have been so central to my life. I kept a copy of the book on my nightstand next to my bed as I made my way through high school, college, graduate school, and into my business career. I lived that bookI lived it, I would argue, like few others. Why? Because it resonated with my every instinct.

I became obsessed with sending handwritten notes, with returning phone calls, with sending birthday cards, with using peoples names, and with recognizing other people. To this day, anytime Im reading the newspaper and I come across a positive article about someone I know, I cut it out and I send it to that person with a handwritten note. If their mother is alive, Ill write, You might want to send this to your mom. Shed be proud to put it on her refrigerator! I do that a couple of hundred times a year, and I doubt that will ever change.

For years it seemed like the things I had learned in that book would open every door in every hallway that ever came my way. Carnegies message, after all, survives even today because it works. Do what he teaches and, in fact, you will win friends and influence people. You will grow your Rolodex like kudzu in Mississippi, and youll get more Christmas letters than Saint Nick. And isnt that how you build a career? Isnt that how you advance in business? Isnt that the heart of the message Its not what you know, but who you know?

Well, as I have come to learn, there is more. What you know is important, and who you know is critical. But real success is about much more than what or who you know. Indeed, its the