H.M. Gooden - The Lost Soul

This book goes out to everyone who feels lost.

Together, we can get through anything

Special thanks to my beta readers, Cassandra Fear of C&A designs for the wonderful art, and Rachael Kunz of Muddy Waters Editing- I couldn't do this without you

Chapter 1

I left the second the last bell pealed its warning.

It was Friday, and I had to run home to get my hockey equipment before practice. This was likely the last year Id be playing outside of pick-up games with the guys, and I felt a pang in my chest as the ten-year-old boy inside me said goodbye to the dream of NHL hockey stardom. My logical side had abandoned that goal years ago, but when I thought of how close I was to concluding my competitive hockey days, I still felt sad.

Hey, Mark! Are you going to practice?

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and turned to find Paul, one of my best friends, jogging toward me. He looked winded, so I waited for him to catch his breath before responding.

Yeah, why?

Paul winced. I took a new job. Theyve been pretty good with my schedule so far but they need me to work tonight. Can you let Coach know I can't make it? I'll be there for the game on Sunday, I promise.

I tilted my head to the side, looking at him doubtfully. Not so sure he's gonna be happy to hear that. I mean, if you don't attend practice, he's likely to keep you on the bench.

Paul shrugged, letting his arms fall helplessly to his sides. I know man, but I really need the money. I got accepted to U of T. Work promised I could have full-time hours for the summer, with the chance to pick up overtime if I was willing. You know my parents cant afford to help out financially, other than letting me live at home. Id rather not finish university with a hundred k in debt.

Exhaling, I nodded. Yeah, I know what you mean. I've got a job set up for the summer too. I'll be leaving the week after school ends. I'll let him know. I guess you'll take your chances with him, like always.

Paul laughed and I joined in, thinking about how many times wed pushed the coach to the edge of sanity. As much of a hard ass as he could be, we genuinely liked and respected him. He was good guy. His son had been on the team before wed started, but even after hed left to play semi-pro, Coach had stuck around to encourage the next generation to play.

Hockey was one of those things that was either in your blood or it wasn't. Most of the kids in our class didn't play, but those of us who did had bonded together and were a close-knit group now. It was how I'd become friends with Paul. On the surface, we didn't have much in common. He was from an Italian background and only lived a few blocks away from me, but it may as well have been in a different city.

My family came from England, both sides emigrating shortly after the second World War. My parents were born in Toronto, the first generation in Canada, which made both Paul and I the same in that respect.

But the practical implications were very different. I'd never had to deal with the social and cultural barriers his family had. It bothered me sometimes, but hed never seemed to care. From the first time wed met, three years ago in grade nine, hed been warm and generous, the kind of guy whod give you the shirt right off his back.

My family was pretty cool too, but more reserved. Paul had two brothers and two sisters, and I had one brother, six years younger. We got along well, but with the age differences and more personal space, we werent as close as Paul was with his siblings. Sometimes, I envied him that.

Hey man, you even listening to me right now?

I shook my head, realizing I'd let my mind wander. Paul rolled his eyes and I apologized. Sorry, History was a real snoozer today. You walking home now?

He looked at his watch, then shook his head. Nah. Ill keep you company to the next street; work is that way.

Together we navigated the mass of students desperately trying to escape the halls of torture. Normally I didn't mind school, but now that June had arrived and the end of the year was approaching rapidly, I was feeling antsy.

Or maybe it was something else making me feel restless. My gaze flicked to Paul and his relaxed gait as he kept pace with me. We were almost the same size and coloring, except my hair was a little longer, and a bit more on the red side of brown. My eyes were dark blue instead of his brown, but we shared enough facial similarities people had commented on it in the past. At times, we'd even been mistaken as brothers or cousins.

I had other friends, but no one else I felt as comfortable being quiet with the way I was with Paul. Maybe wed been related in a different life. Waving as he turned off to work, I headed home to grab my things, hoping the strange feeling I had was due to the rapidly approaching end of year and not something else.

Chapter 2

M an, I'm glad to be home!

It was after ten, but it was still light outside. Some days I was happy about the extra sunshine we got in summer, but on nights like tonight, after the exhausting drills my coach had ran at practice, I wished it was darker.

Something about trying to go to bed in the daytime felt wrong.

My dad chuckled as he locked the door behind him, throwing the keys on the counter. Don't forget to put your stuff away. He reminded me.

Don't worry. I will. Im going to hit the sack.

I heaved my hockey bag over my shoulder, giving him a quick, one-armed hug goodnight before heading to my room. He watched me go with a half-smile on his face, then turned and went into the living room. My mom was still at work and Robbie was supposed to be in bed. I didn't need to stick around for my dad to pay the babysitter, the next-door neighbors kid. She had an unfortunate tendency to get chatty, which made me suspicious she may have a crush on me. She was a nice kid, but far too young for me, so I stayed as far away as I could.