Sonora Reyes - The Lesbianas Guide to Catholic School

To my mom. Mi otro yo.

Seven years of bad luck can slurp my ass.

Its been way too long since I punched something, and that vanity had it coming. Stupid mirror. Stupid Yami.

Whatever. Mirrors are overrated, and punching them is underrated. Ive never liked looking at myself anyway. Not because I dont think Im cute. I mean, I am cuteobjectivelybut thats beside the point. I like this new reflection better. Its cracked enough that Im hardly recognizable. Splintered in all the right places. I did that. With my fist. Who says Im not tough?

I dont run from a fightas long as its with an inanimate object. I didnt punch the mirror hard enough to shatter it, but the pulsing in my knuckles tells me I hit it pretty hard. My chest swells at the accomplishment, and so does my hand.

Shit. Thats a lot of blood.

Okay, maybe I shouldnt have done that. My hand is shaking and starting to drip, but Im stuck. All I can think about is Bianca, and the other thing I really shouldnt have done.

Who quits their job just to avoid the possibility of running into an ex? Not even an ex. An ex-traordinarily two-faced bitch. An exbest friend, who Im ashamed to have ever had feelings for.

Biancas never been good at keeping secrets, so I dont know why I thought shed keep this one to herself. Its my own fault for trusting her. Last time I saw her was when she outed me at the end of sophomore year. I was happy to never see her again, but today she just had to walk right into the coffee shop I work at. Worked at.

She has some nerve trying to confront me at work. Its not like I could defend myself. I never could, against her. Because of her, I couldnt even make it a couple weeks into my summer job.

So youre running away to Catholic school now? Are you that desperate to avoid me?

Yes. Desperate enough to quit my job, too. Anything to keep from seeing her. Anything.

Yami? Cesar knocks at the door but doesnt wait for a response before cracking it open and peeking inside. Ill call you back, he says to whoever hes on the phone with. He must have heard the mirror break. His eyes widen slightly at the sight of my fist, so I jump in before he can say anything.

Was that your girlfriend? I tease.

Something like that. He shrugs.

Youre such a player, I say, shaking my head.

Anyways, you okay? My brother stares at my bloody knuckles and the mirror, waiting for an explanation I dont give. I should be the one worried about him, not the other way around. His knuckles are freshly scabbed like mine are about to be, and he has a black eye. Just another variation of the usual.

Are you okay? I throw the question back at him. His eyes flick to the mirror and back at me before he walks in. He hops over the dirty clothes on the floor and onto my bed, grinning.

I got all As! he says. Okay, so Im not the only one deflecting. Cesar and I have an unspoken rule: you can ask personal questions exactly once. If the question is avoided, you dont pry. Thats how we keep the peace. I give Cesar a high five with my good hand, then go to our shared bathroom to wash off the blood, leaving the door open so he can hear me.

Eso! No wonder you got a scholarship to Slayton.

Cesar is definitely the better student between us. He skipped a grade, so were both about to be juniors. A lot of people assume were twins, which I dont mind. It makes it slightly less embarrassing that my younger brother is so much smarter than me. Im not in all honors classes like him, but I do all right.

Without a scholarship of my own, Ill need to get another job ASAP to pay my half of tuition. Its the only way Mom could afford to send us both to Slayton Catholic, and Im more than happy to do the extra work. I would probably die of embarrassment if I had to go back to Rover High after what Bianca did. Catholic school and another job will be worth it if I never have to see her gorgeous, backstabbing face ever again. Goodbye, Rover, cant say Ill miss you.

I make sure all the blood is gone and dab some of Cesars superglue on the cut before going back to my room. By the time Im done, you can barely tell I hurt myself. If nothing else, hiding my pain is one thing Im good at.

Cesars lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, fidgeting with the cross at the end of the chain around his neck. Do you really want to go to Slayton?

I shrug and fall onto the bed next to him.

Bianca isnt the only reason I need to go to Slayton, but I cant tell Cesar that. As far as he knows, Moms forcing us both to go because we need a better education, with the best teachers and more advanced classes. Its also Moms way of making up for the fact that she doesnt have time to take us to church anymore.

At least, those are the reasons we tell Cesar. We dont tell him its also because of all the trouble hes been getting into at Rover, and that Mom thinks Slayton will be safer (because of the Catholic values). We dont tell him I insisted on going with him to keep him out of trouble. Its a fancy-ass Catholic school, but its a fresh start, for both of us. And at least now Ill know to keep my mouth shut about any crushes. This time, Ill be stealthy gay. Like Kristen Stewart.

Cesar rolls on his side to face me. I heard its nothing but white people there.

Probably. The students at Rover are mostly Black and Brown Chicanes, but Slaytons on the north side of Scottsdale, about a forty-minute drive from where we live. Lets just say theres not a lot of melanin over there. I could probably pay my tuition selling sunscreen between classes.

And the football team sucks, he says.

You dont even play football.

And now I never will. Theres a sad gleam in his eye, as if playing football was once a dream of his. I swear hes the most dramatic guy I know.

Aww, pobrecito. I try to pinch his cheek but he swats my hand away. Hes only ten months younger than me, but Ill never let him forget hes the baby.

I heard they make you do, like, ten hours of homework a day. Thats called child abuse. When will we sleep? When will we eat? Were gonna starve! He throws his arms in the air.

I laugh and hit him with my pillow. Well live. I dont mention that hes the one wholl have the excess homework, with all the AP and honors classes hes in. Besides, its better than the alternative, right?

What alternative?

You knowI gesture to his bruised eyegetting jumped? His jaw clenches, and I immediately feel bad for bringing it up, so I keep going. Or eating moldy chicken nuggets for lunch. Thats child abuse. At least Slayton can afford to feed us real food.

I guess. He doesnt sound amused. Cesar has no self-preservation instincts. Its almost as if he wants to keep getting his ass kicked at Rover.

I throw my arm around his shoulder. Dont worry, if you ever miss Rover food, just lick the bottom of your shoe. Youll feel like you never left.

He lets out a little snort and throws one of his legs in the air. Excuse you, my shoes are clean AF. This is five-star dining right here.