Janae Marks - A Soft Place to Land

For Steve

Home is wherever Im with you

I may only be twelve, but Ive already fallen in love oncewith music. With film scores, to be exact.

The moment it happened, when I first realized how magical movie scores can be, was around Christmas last year. Mom got two tickets through work for Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back in concert. She invited me to come with her. The New York Philharmonic orchestra performed the soundtrack live on stage, while the movie played on a huge screen above them.

It was already a special night because Mom and I drove into Manhattan together. I got to wear my favorite dress, which is made from the softest velvet the color of cranberries. On the car ride down, we sang along to the radio. Mom also asked me about school and my friends, and it was so nice to talk to herjust the two of us, without my little sister interrupting with her own questions and comments. Before heading to the theater, we got dinner at a fancy soul food restaurant where I had the best cornbread Ive ever tasted.

The concert itself was incredible. Id seen all the Star Wars movies before, but this time, the music swirled around the theater, bouncing off the walls, giving me goose bumps. The scenes were even more dramatic with the orchestra playing right in front of us. The story came alive in a whole new way.

I came alive in a whole new way. By the time we walked out of the theater, I felt like a different Joy.

On the drive home, I downloaded the main theme song from the movie and made it my phones ringtone. Then I stared at the concert program, at the names and pictures of the people whod created the music. The composers name was John Williams, and his bio said he composed the score for nine Star Wars movies. I decided right then and there that I wanted to do that, too.

Im going to compose music for movies. Im going to make other people feel the way that I did that night at the concert. One day, people are going to fill a theater to hear an orchestra play my music.

I have it all figured out. I love a good plan. And a list. Step one is to learn how to play the piano.

But before I can get to that, I have to survive this move.

Can I go for a walk? I ask Mom. I want to check out the park behind the building.

Moms holding a box cutter and leaning over one of the billion boxes piled up around the apartment. They look like the blocks my six-year-old sister, Malia, used to play with. Shed stack them up to make the highest tower, carefully adding blocks one by one. Then shed count to three and knock it all down. The bigger the mess, the wider shed grin. And then shed start all over again.

Please? I add. Im getting claustrophobic in here.

What about me? I want to go to the playground, Malia whines from her spot on the couch. Shes huddled in the only corner thats not covered with black garbage bags practically exploding with things we brought from our house. Her tablet is on her lap.

I give Mom a look that says, Please let me go alone. I had to babysit Malia for the last couple of hours while my parents moved all of our stuff in here, and Im ready for some time by myself. Especially since Malia and I have to share a bedroom from now on. I can hear Dad in our room digging through his tool bag and moving parts around as he gets ready to put together our new bunk bed.

Ill take you to the playground before dinner, okay? Mom tells Malia. To me, she says, Sure, have fun.

Bring water, she adds. Its hot out there. Thank goodness this place came with air conditioning.

I go into our new apartments tiny kitchen to fill my reusable water bottle. My mom calls it a galley kitchen because its a narrow room with the cabinets and appliances on either side. It can barely fit all four of us at once. The kitchen in our house was at least three times bigger.

Once my bottle is full, I put my headphones on, turn on my playlist of favorite movie scores, and go out into the hallway. I pause to take a deep breath with my eyes closed, and I try to channel the way I felt the night of the philharmonic concert. At least I still have music. Nobody can take that away from me. Maybe itll help me get through this.

I press the elevator button and try to guess which of the two elevators will arrive first. I pick the one on the right, but then the left elevator door opens. Theres a girl standing inside it, leaning against the back wall. I think I recognize her from my new middle school, which I transferred to last week. Im pretty sure shes in my grade. We arent in any of the same classes, so I dont know her name yet. I smile politely as I move to stand next to her.

The girl taps my shoulder. I pull my headphones down and turn toward her.

Hi! she says, sounding way too cheerful. Im Nora. Apartment 5B. Did you just move in?

Yeah. Hi. Im Joy. Uh, apartment... 3C. Is that how people introduce themselves around here, by their apartment numbers?

Youre the new kid at school, right? she asks.

I nod. Not new to town, though. I used to go to the other middle school.

Cool. What were you listening to? Nora asks.

Huh?

She points to the headphones around my neck. Were you listening to music?

Oh. Um, yeah. Songs from movie soundtracks. The Jurassic Park theme song was playing, I say.

The elevator stops at the lobby floor, and we both get off. Im about to say goodbye and walk away when Nora starts talking again.

Wait. Are you into movies, too? Before I can answer, Nora keeps talking. Im super into them. I want to become a filmmaker when I grow up. Im working on a screenplay right now. Its almost done. Then Im going to start filming. But before I do that, I want to save up for a better camera, and also some editing software. When I send my movie to film festivals, I want people to be surprised when they find out a kid made it.

Nora practically says that entire thing with one breath. Thats how fast she speaks.

Wow. Good luck, I say. Thats... really cool. Im obsessed with movie scores. The music. I actually want to compose my own someday.

Noras eyes widen with excitement. Seriously? Oh my gosh, I cant believe were both into movies! Maybe you can help me with the music in mine when Im done filming.

Yeah, maybe. Whats your movie about?

Its about a mom and daughter who go on a road trip together, but then all sorts of things go wrong.

That sounds fun, I say. Howd you come up with the idea?

Its inspired by my mom, Nadia Ramos. She died when I was six. She says it so matter-of-factly.

My mouth opens in surprise, and I immediately regret using the word fun.

Colon cancer, Nora adds.

I am so sorry, I say.

Its okay. I miss her of course. But Ive still got my little sister, Izzy, plus my dad. And hes the best.

I smile but still feel awkward.

Nora is opening up about something so... personal... so easily. To a stranger. But something about her honesty makes me want to tell her something honest about myself, too.

Well, I start. My family and I moved here because we had to sell our house. My dad lost his job a few months ago, and they couldnt afford the mortgage anymore. It was going toI pause to remember the word my parents usedforeclose, and the bank was going to take it away from us. But before that happened, my parents put it up for sale and found a new family to buy it. I swallow, and theres a big lump in my throat. I lived in that house for my entire life until today. It felt like a member of my family, that now weve lost. Saying goodbye to it this morning was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do.