Kelly J. Baptist - The Swag Is in the Socks

I am a young man of purpose,

A descendant of kings.

As a member of the illustrious Scepter League,

I am disciplined, courageous, and confident.

I will carry myself with dignity and honor

in all situations.

I will respect myself, my family,

My school, and my community.

I will be academically excellent,

Physically fit,

And socially responsible.

I will be a man who lights the way for others.

Theres nothing too spectacular about you.

Well, jack my phone and call me Jill; that fool done it again!

Aunt Kat shuffles into the living room and lowers herself into her special peach-colored easy chair, a piece of paper in her hand and a frown on her face. She tosses the paper onto the coffee table in front of her. Me and my sister, Shannon, call it the Obama Table, since Aunt Kats got practically every magazine he was ever on the cover of.

Shannons in the kitchen, chopping the life outta something, and she calls over, Whats wrong, Aunt Kat?

Aunt Kat shakes her head, the corners of her mouth turned down like she just smelled one of my power-farts.

Caint even speak on it, girl, she says at first, which only means shes gonna speak on it in 5432

But that fool brother of mine done took off again to God knows where!

You think hes okay? Shannon asks.

Pffft! Aunt Kat makes a loud noise with her lips. Who gonna know that? For all I know, hes somewhere slumped over a piano havin a heart attack, while some used-to-be singer tries to hold on to her note and her wig!

I bust out laughing before I can stop myself. I shut my mouth real quick and try to go back to being invisible on the couch, praying Aunt Kat dont look my way and tell me my ten minutes on the Nintendo Switch are up. I know, right? Who gives a ten-minute video game limit?

Aunt Kat.

Luckily, shes too upset about her brother leaving to pay any attention to me. She mutters about how ungrateful he is, and whos gonna pay his part of the bills here at the house now that hes gone. Not gonna lie; Frankie Bell always gets the good groceries when hes home.

Its really not a shocker, but Aunt Kats actin like this has never happened before. To be honest, this happens almost every month! Her brother, my great-uncle, Frankie Bell, is a musiciana piano playerand according to him, hes been playing since birth, and traveling as much as he can with his group, the Bell-Aires.

I started off strumming the umbilical cord, Frankie Bell tells anybody who asks. But when I got out that womb prison, it was all about the keys.

Frankie Bells been in bands since he was fifteen, and he says hell be in one till theyre playing for his funeral.

Aunt Kat, whos technically my great-aunt, was the oldest of six kids, and all thats left is her and Frankie Bell, the youngest. My grandfather, who was next in line after Aunt Kat, died when I was three. All I remember about him is the smell of Vicks VapoRub and cigar smoke. So Frankie Bell, which is what everybody calls him, is the closest thing to a grandfather I got. Hes cool but kinda weird. Aunt Kat says hes ten steps past crazy, whatever that means.

You watch, Aunt Kat says, pointing at his letter. Whenever he goes on the road for a long time, he starts sending letters that dont make a lick of sense! He picks some poor soul to torment with his secret instructions and whatnot, like hes the wisest man to draw a breath. Messes with their minds so much, they start thinkin they the ones losing it!

Aunt Kat cusses and Shannon looks up all shocked.

Ooooh, Aunt Kat! she says, but I can tell shes tryin not to laugh. I am, too. I keep it in this time.

Im sorry, baby, but thats what Frankie Bell is full of.

Shannon opens the oven, and a whoosh of good smells floats out.

How long fore we can eat? Aunt Kat asks, noticing the smell, too.

Bout fifteen minutes, Shannon says. She picks up her cell phone and sends a text. I bet anything its to Julian.

She claims Jus her friend, but we all know better. Aunt Kat hates him, thinks hes too old for Shannon cuz hes eighteen and she just turned sixteen. I dont think its that big of a deal, especially since Jus one of them dudes whos got everything going for him: star quarterback, girls are obsessed with him,