Wendi Aarons - Socks: A Footloose Miscellany for Sock Lovers and Wearers
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- Book:Socks: A Footloose Miscellany for Sock Lovers and Wearers
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- Publisher:Chronicle Books LLC
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- Year:2023
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Socks: A Footloose Miscellany for Sock Lovers and Wearers: summary, description and annotation
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Amusing and highly giftable, Socks is an illustrated miscellany all about the most common accessory. Through humorous text and quirky art, discover what different types of socks say about the people who wear them:
- Striped socks? A bit whimsical. A bit arty. Loves museum gift shops.
- Dress socks? Proud owner of three pairs of loafers, three Labradors, and three 401(k)s.
- Socks with bad elastic that really need to be thrown away? This person is not a quitterunlike these crappy socks.
GO-TO GIFT: Socks are the best, easiest gift for everyone, including anyone thats hard to buy for. Package a pair with this book to create the perfect gift for countless occasions. Give Socks to your father-figure on Fathers Day; as a novelty stocking stuffer; to your new love interest on Valentines Day; at the office white elephant gift exchange; as an anytime present for a sock-loving BFF . . . you get the idea.
FOR EVERYONE: Socks (and this book) are gender neutral and age agnostic. After all, everyone wears socks! Men who don;t otherwise play with their fashion choices are often more experimental with socks, and people of all ages appreciate warm feet. This quippy book will appeal to a broad range of sock wearers and collectors.
AFFORDABLE AND FUN: Socks is a happiness-inducing add-on gift or impulse purchase for yourself or a fashion-forward friend.
Perfect for:
- People who wear (or like to receive) socks
- Sock collectors and aficionados of all ages
- Dads and dudes, moms and mavens
- Gift givers seeking something unique for Fathers Day, Mothers Day, a birthday, graduation, the holidays, or just for fun
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Text copyright 2023 by Wendi Aarons.
Illustrations copyright 2023 by Kadna Anda.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available.
ISBN 978-1-7972-2324-7 (epub, mobi)
ISBN 978-1-7972-1276-0 (hardcover)
Design by Rachel Harrell.
Crocs is a registered trademark of Crocs Retail, LLC; Instagram is a registered trademark of Instagram, LLC; LEGO is a registered trademark of Lego Juris A/S Corporation; SpongeBob is a registered trademark of Viacom International Inc.; Swarovski is a registered trademark of Swarovski Aktiengesellschaft.
Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street
San Francisco, California 94107
www.chroniclebooks.com
Behold! Socks.
The lowly foot warmer. The comfortable companion. The easiest gift on the planet.
What would we do without them? Probably have cold feet.
You Can Tell a Lot About a Person by the Socks They Wear
Its said the eyes are the window to the soul, but the truth can be found a little lower. Socks are the real window to the sole. If you want to learn all about someone, just take a good gander at whats on their feet.
Burly. Outdoorsy. Afraid of nothing. Still likes to keep their tootsies toasty.
Serious. Successful. Has both a favorite economist and a favorite brand of tea.
May be a grown-up, but still wants to be considered wild and crazy. At least around the ankles.
Likes to sweat. In socks. That should then be thrown away because ewww. Nothings grosser than sweaty socks.
Proud owner of three pairs of loafers, three Labradors, and three 401(k)s.
Hot glue novelty eyeballs to an old sock, stick your hand inside, and voila! You now have another way to annoy your family. Hey, dont knock it. Shari Lewis made an entire career out of this shit.
Lots of loose change, but nowhere to stash it? Simply pour your pennies into a sock, then seal your new bank account shut with a few zip ties for added security. When its time to buy new socks, youll know just where to look for the funds.
Its no fun to be stuck in prison without a handmade weapon. So simply stuff a bar of soap into a sock to make a slock, then wildly swing it at your gen pop enemies until you become leader of the gang. Sock is the new black.
Dont waste money on fancy leather gloves when theres a cheaper solution. Stick your paws into a pair of socks, and bam! Your hands will stay nice and warm. Then when your feet get cold, do the opposite. Ignore the haters.
We all know that Americas favorite sport is cornhole. But what if you have a hole and no corn to throw at it? Easy! Fill a sock with beans or rice or anything that falls into the exciting legume category, seal it up with a few staples, and youre ready to rock the backyard BBQ. Hole in one!
Ewww, is this your old sweat sock? your partner might ask when they see the cut-up sock covering their favorite mug. The one you wore to play basketball yesterday? Did you at least wash it first? Ignore all of that because what they really mean is, Thank you for this amazing gift. You are a genius.
Says things like, What? Theyre both socks. Doesnt that count as matching? I have more important things to worry about, like my carrier pigeons.
Wears socks, but doesnt want anyone to know theyre wearing them. Theyre kind of secretive that way. Are they in the witness protection program? Theyll never tell.
A bit whimsical. A bit arty. Loves museum gift shops, which is where they bought these socks. Obviously.
Are they cheap? A secret exhibitionist? Both? Darn it.
Aint no party like a fun sock party cause a fun sock party dont stop. Until they put their shoes back on. Then the partys over.
Short. Weak. Fell down midway through.
Little known fact: The legendary Cotton Club musicians had a secret group called the Cotton Club Cotton Sock Club. Doo-yah-dah-dah-dit-dip-bah!
Good news: not lost in the dryer. Bad news: lost somewhere over the Atlantic.
A sock named Sue. These socks walk the line. Sometimes they even stepped into a burning ring of fire. And they were always the same color. (Hint: It rhymes with black.)
Tie-dyed. Covered in mud. Someone probably tried to smoke them. Likes to say, You had to be there, man. Peace.
The velvet rope didnt keep this glittery pair from dancing the night away at Studio 54. Even John Travolta knows that you cant do the Hustle with bare toes. Toot toot, yeah, beep beep.
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