Barbara Pease - Are You Made for Each Other?: The Relationship Quiz Book

Table of Contents

Introduction

The misunderstandings and the conflict between the sexes, even in the twenty-first century, are still as real in our lives as they were when Adam first ran afoul of Eve. During three decades of research into the differences between men and women, Barbara and I have been asked thousands of questions about why men and women behave in certain ways. The letters, the phone calls, and the e-mails come from people mystified by the kind of things the opposite sex does, and from those who feel frustrated or helpless when it comes to knowing exactly how to deal with them. As a result of our research and the great interest shown in the differences between the way men and women think and act, we wrote the two bestselling books Why Men Dont Listen and Women CantRead Maps and Why Men Dont Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes to help people better understand and communicate with each other.

This new quiz book now gives you the opportunity to put yourself and your partner to the test concerning these many questions. We developed these special quizzes based on the most important chapters of our previous books and what we know will help you understand how you and your partner think.

What does your partner really know about you? Does your partner listen to you when you speak? Does your partner have better spatial abilities than you do? And how about driving and parkingwho is better? What type of partner suits you best? Are you a good lover? Is your friendship ready to become a relationship? Is he or she likely to be faithful? Is the crisis in your relationship really the fault of your mother-in-law? Or are you responsible? Does your partner lie to you? Do you and your partner talk at cross-purposes?

These and many more questions can now be answered. The quizzes in this book will reveal new and exciting things about you and your partner. And you can start right now!

Have fun with this quiz book!

Allan & Barbara Pease

ChapterOne

Talking and Listening

What females say.

What males hear.

Why Men Dont Talk Much and Women Talk a Lot

Weve known for thousands of years that men arent great conversationalists, particularly when compared to women. Speech is not a major brain skill of men as it is with women. It operates mainly in a males left brain and has no specific locations. MRI scans show that when a male speaks, the entire left hemisphere of his brain becomes active as it searches to find a center for speaking.

Men evolved as lunch-chasers, not communicators. The hunt was conducted with a series of body language signals and often the hunters would sit for hours silently watching for their prey. They didnt talk or bond. When modern men go fishing together, they can sit for hours and say little or nothing. Theyre having a great time enjoying each others company, but they dont feel the need to express it in words. Yet if women were spending time together and not talking, it would be indicative of a major problem.

In women, speech is a specific area located primarily in the front left hemisphere, and in other smaller, specific areas in the right hemisphere. Having speech centers in both sides of the brain makes women good conversationalists. Because they have larger, specific areas that control speech, the rest of a womans brain is available for other tasks, thus enabling her to do a number of different things at the same time. Womens clear-cut speech centers give them superiority of language and verbal dexterity.

Because women originally spent their days together with the other women and children in a group, they developed the ability to communicate successfully in order to maintain relationships.

The Basics of Listening

Typically, a woman can use an average of six listening expressions in a ten-second period to reflect, then feed back, the speakers emotions. A woman reads the meaning of what is being said through voice intonation and the speakers body language. This is exactly what a man needs to be able to do to capture a womans attentionand keep her listening. Most men are daunted by the prospect of using facial feedback while listening, but it pays big dividends for the man who becomes proficient at it.

The biological objective of our ancestral male warrior when listening was to remain impassive, so as not to betray his emotions. This emotionless mask that men use while listening allows them to feel in control of the situation. It does not mean he isnt experiencing emotions; brain scans reveal that men feel emotion as strongly as women, but avoid showing it.

The Great Listening Test

The following questions can put your partner to the listening test. He or she cant fool you easily. Do they really listen to you or not? Do they really know your special likes and dislikes, or do they only pretend to? And what about you? Do you frequently expect too much of your partner and his speech ability or can you deal with his weaknesses? This quiz will bring the truth into the open.

If you are a man, take the test on pages 67. Women should fill in the questions on the next page. If you want to test yourselves the other way round as well, make sure you copy the questionnaires before completing them.

Answer the questions carefully and ask your partner to fill in his/her answers afterwardwithout having read your answers.

Your Need to Talk