Lyn Vandebrake - The Escape Place

A Womans Guide to Running Away from Home Without Leaving

by

Lyn Vandebrake

Published by WordCrafts Press

Copyright 2019 Lyn Vandebrake

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This book is dedicated to all the women who have said,

I just want to run away.

Well, girlfriend, now you can.

And he said unto them,

Come apart unto a desert place and rest a while;

for there were many coming and going,

and they had no leisure so much as to eat.

Mark 6:31

M argaret, affectionately called Maggie, is pregnant with her fifth child. The other four range in age from two years old to eleven, are home-schooled, and involved in multiple sports, church and other age-related activities. When not transporting her six and eight-year old sons to soccer practice in her mini-van, Maggie is running her oldest child to piano lessons on Tuesday and flute lessons on Thursday.

The two-year old is part of a play group on Monday mornings. The homeschool science club meets at Maggies house Monday afternoons, and Monday evening is her husbands prayer group for men at the church, which means he is not at home to help with bedtime rituals, bathing the younger children, and getting everyone settled for the night.

Maggie co-leads the Wednesday Kids Klub at church, is an adult helper with the childrens choir Sunday afternoons, volunteers with the church nursery when needed, and is ready to run away from home if only there were time to plan the run.

I love my children, says Maggie. I love being a part of their lives. I thank God for each of them and that He has blessed me with being a wife and mother. Having said that, Maggie is at the end of her rope. She has not gone to the bathroom by herself in about a decade. It seems there is not a span of 15 minutes in any part of any day when someone in Maggies household does not need her for something.

If only there were a place of undisturbed calm where Maggie could run; a quiet space to call her own, to sit in solitude, refreshing her spirit and restoring her spent energy.

Would such a place have made a difference for Gretchen Garrison, who one evening as her husband returned home from work, met him at the door with car keys in hand. Im leaving, she said and out the door she went, leaving behind the four children she had given birth to in her five years of marriage.

I remember crying and praying a lot, wondering what God was thinking when He asked me to be a mother, says Gretchen who would later return to her family. Being a mom is hard. I still often feel like there is not enough in me to rise to the occasion. Gretchen describes herself during this time as feeling exhausted, defeated, overwhelmed, inadequate and lost.

In the spring of 2017, a Dr. Oz televised program highlighted the pressures imposed on women today. Dr. Oz stated antidepressants and other medications are increasingly being prescribed, to combat these feelings women are expressing.

As responsibilities increase, so does the pressure to get everyone taken care of and everything done. Life becomes a never-ending to-do list, increasing the mounting stress women already feel. Self-care easily becomes totally neglected. Peaceful quiet space is limited or non-existent unless purposefully created by the woman herself.

In addition to being primary caretakers of the family, many women work outside the home with jobs supplementing the family income or in professional capacities they have worked hard to achieve. Then professional women face a constantly demanding world in their workplace as well as at home.

Referred to as the Sandwich Generation women today often nurture and care for multi-levels of family members. Sandwiched in between raising small children, helping to support adult children still living at home, and caring for elderly parents, women find themselves stretched with these overwhelming caretaking responsibilities.

My sister Linda is a traditional sandwich generation caregiver, says Amy Goyer, AARPs family and caregiving expert and author of AARPs Juggling Work and Caregiving. She has two young-adult sons and recently moved to Arizona to help care for my father. We are both stretched so thin, its difficult for us to squeeze in time for self-care.

I do not have children, but I am sandwiched between a very consuming job, a long-distance relationship, managing care for my dad who has Alzheimers disease and lives with me, as well as his sick dog, handling our finances and keeping up two properties. If thats not sandwiched, I dont know what is, says Goyer.

According to a Huffington Post article, Ten Ways Stress Affects Womens Health , Senior Writer Carolyn Grefoire states, Studies have found that women differ from men not only in their emotional responses to stress, but also that acute and chronic stress may take a greater toll on womens physical and mental health.

Grefoire further states that stress impacts a womans immune and digestive system, skin and hair health. Stress also contributes to depression, anxiety, insomnia, weight gain, increased infertility, increased risk of heart disease and stroke.

Harvard Cardiologist Malissa J. Wood. M.D., Corrigan Womens Heart Health Program, Massachusetts General Hospital, states that heart disease is the number one killer of women, and yet its preventable. They get so caught up in day-to-day dramas that they cant enjoy life, says Wood, and further states when a womans life is happy, her life is in control, her heart then improves, as well as other health issues.

With unremitting pressure, many women today find themselves longing to escape, and yearn for a private space of quiet time and solitude.

Does the above description fit your life right now? If so, you are not alone. Further, this is not a condition exclusively facing women in our activity-driven, American culture.

Marguerite van Geldermalsen in her nonfiction book, Married to a Bedouin , describes her life with husband Mohammed and children; Salwa, Raami, and Maruan as they live together in their one-room cave in the Petra desert. When Marguerites in-laws come for an extended stay, three generations now share the space.