Tommy Nelson - The Book of Romance: What Solomon Says About Love, Sex, and Intimacy

The Book of

Romance

The Book of

Romance

What Solomon Says About Love, Sex, and Intimacy

Tommy

Nelson

1998 by Thomas H. Nelson

All rights reserved. Written permission must be secured from the publisher to use or reproduce any part of this book, except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Thomas Nelson, Inc. titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please email SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

Unless otherwise noted, the Bible version used in this publication is THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION. 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

The Scripture quotation noted NASB is from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE . The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Nelson, Tommy.

The book of romance: what Solomon says about love, sex, and intimacy / Tommy Nelson.

p. cm.

ISBN 10: 0-7852-7471-5 (hc)
ISBN 13: 978-0-7852-7471-1(hc)
ISBN 10: 0-7852-8898-8 (tp)
ISBN 13: 978-0-7852-8898-5 (tp)

1. Bible. O.T. Song of SolomonCriticism, interpretation, etc. 2. Sex in the Bible. 3. MarriageBiblical teaching. I. Title.

BS1485.2.N45 1998

248.4dc21

98-8503

CIP

Printed in the United States of America.

07 08 09 10 11 RRD 5 4 3 2 1

To

Herbert and LaVelle Nelson
Parents who made my growing-up years
happy, loved, peaceful, protected,
disciplined, and positively magic.

Teresa Jo Newman Nelson
The delight of my life and fulfillment
of my dreamsthe Shulamite
who let me experience the book I teach.

Contents

Introduction:
Does God Have Anything to Say About Love, Sex,
and Intimacy?

Conclusion:
Fresh Beginnings Are Always Possible

Thanks to Doug and Carrie Hudson for their confidence and continued faithfulness.

To Jan Dargatz for her expertise, talent, and insights in aiding me in writing.

To the faithful saints of Denton Bible, who served as the initial people to receive the Word of God in the Song of Solomon.

To Dean and Barbara Hancock, who first encouraged me to put this in print.

To Richie and Carolyn Fletcher of Gruver, Texas, who have been continual sources of love, encouragement, guidance, and joy to me and my beloved.

Introduction
Does God Have
Anything to Say
About Love, Sex,
and Intimacy?

S everal years ago I was driving down a major street in my city when I noticed one of the girls from our congregation walking on the sidewalk. Actually she was floating, almost gliding along the street as if carried by wings. She had euphoria written on her face. She was in this world, a real person, but she might as well have been a million miles away. And I knew the reason for all thisshe was in love.

I called out to her from my car, asking her if she needed a ride. She answered, No, but thank you. Ill just walk.

She was walking on a cloud, and she wanted to enjoy every step of the journey. I knew exactly how she felt. Ive been there.

Several months later while I was preaching, I saw her sitting out in the congregation. Her demeanor shocked me so much that I had to pause in my message for a moment and regather my thoughts. After the service was over, I made my way to her. Her countenance was filled with bitterness, anger, hurt, pain, and grief.

I asked only a couple of questions, but her answers revealed volumes. She and her boyfriend had broken off their relationship, but not before they had fallen into immorality. Her heart was broken. She was sorry, guilt-stricken, angry at him, angry at herself, hurt that she had been deceived, and hurt that she had loved so deeply only to be disappointed and rejected. She felt utterly betrayed, not only by this young man, but also by life in general.

Have you ever experienced what this young woman experienced? Have you ever gone through tears and heartache in your relationship with a person you loved? Have you ever been wounded deep within your being by a sexual encounter?

For many young people I know, issues related to love, sex, and intimacy are a mystery. They almost feel as if the world has a secret about these things that they havent been told. Certainly they havent heard much about these issues in church. A sermon on sex? A Bible teaching on romance? A practical Sunday school lesson on love and dating?

I can almost see the smile on your face. But, Tommy, you are probably saying, the Bible doesnt have anything to say on such matters! It has a lot of thou shalt nots but no this is what thou shalt dos when it comes to sex.

Ah, but youre wrong. The Bible does have a great deal of practical and explicit teaching about love, sex, and intimacy. In fact, one entire book of the Bible is devoted to these very issues!

Do you really think that God would give His beloved creations, man and woman, the wonderful feeling we call romance, an institution as mysterious as marriage, and the marvelous passion we know in sexual intimacy and then not have anything to say about these gifts to us? Do you think God would allow men and women to marry and then toss them a grenade called intimacy and say to them, Well, just fiddle around a little with this and youll figure out how to work it? No, indeed not.

The same God who has given us everything pertaining to life and godliness, the same God who calls us to righteousness, holiness, and a life without compromise, the same God who forgives sin and guides those who seek wisdom, this same God is the foremost expert on your need for romance, your sex drive, and your future or current marriage. Based on what He knows about us and desires for us, He has provided an instruction manual so that we might truly live with the joy and intensity of satisfaction that He created us to experience.

That instruction manual of God is the book of the Bible titled the Song of Solomon or, perhaps in your version, the Song of Songseight power-packed, very explicit, and highly practical chapters on the topics of love, sex, and intimacy. Why havent I ever heard about this? you may ask.

For many people, the Song of Solomon is the mystery book of the Bible. Tucked among the books of the Bible in the section called the Wisdom Literature, the Song of Solomon has the distinction of being the only book of the Bible that seems to have been edited and censured by the Christian church. Most Christians dont read it, dont understand it, and have never heard a sermon from it.

Yet no message could be more needed today. The Song of Solomon is the book for this generation, in my opinion.

This book takes a specific couple and gives seven snapshots related to attraction, dating, courtship, sexuality, and marriage. In two of the chapters, we watch the couple fight and resolve their conflict. We see how their devotion deepens the longer they are married. We encounter the entire scope of their romantic and sexual relationship, from their first meeting to their passion within marriage. And all along the way, we see that there is something divine in their union. They both experience desire and passion, and yet their desire is always in the right context and timing. A passionate fire builds between them, and that fire is maintained throughout their relationship.

Dont we all desire to love someone passionately, to be loved in return with the same intensity, and to see this love rekindled throughout the years? The heartening news of the Song of Solomon is that God desires for you to experience this kind of ecstasy and enjoy a long-lasting, satisfying love with a spouse.