Jonathan Jacobs - The Moviegoer in the Golden Age of Cinema

The Moviegoer

In the Golden Age ofCinema

Jonathan Jacobs

Copyright 2011 by ScreenMedia, Inc.

Published by

Screen Media, Inc. atSmashwords

Although the author and thepublisher have made every effort to ensure the accuracy andcompleteness of information contained in this book, we assume noresponsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or anyinconsistency herein. Any slights of people, places, ororganizations are unintentional.

This book isavailable in print at most online retailers

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The Moviegoer is dedicatedto Charmaine Saratan. Without her this book would not have beenpossible.

Tableof Contents

Each film has been ratedbased on the star system. One action clip represents one star. If there is asymbol for a bomb , it means the movie is an irreparable failure.

Introduction

A book unwritten is adelightful universe of unlimited possibilities. RobertHarris, The Ghost Writer

What youre holding inyour hands is no ordinary collection of film reviews. The Moviegoeris unique, in that the reviews are not written by someone whowatches movies solely for enjoyment. Pundits must be careful not toslander actors. They also have to include a nearly 100% accurateplot synopsis.

I value the opportunity tocritically analyze every scene, looking for either signs ofbrilliance, or for horrible transgressions. Writing movie reviewsis hard work, but it is my passion. Developing the skill setnecessary to grade and evaluate films takes time, and if possible abackground in teaching.

Part of being a member ofthe media involves exercising responsibility. Although there aresome films deserving of a spanking, it is important to point outthe reason for the critical drubbing. Credibility is everythingwhen tearing down the foundations of someone elses work. It isalso vital to add an element of humor to punditry, especially whenwriting a diatribe.

The Moviegoer is asuccessful hybrid of humor, criticism and praise! For criticism,one has to look no further than Sex and the City 2, Carrie Bradshaw(Sarah Jessica Parker) questions if Abu Dhabi is indeed the newMiddle East. One could parenthetically write (Does she reallymean lower Manhattan? Or the Upper East side?).

Similarly, the epicmovie Bitch Slap appeared in video stores across America in 2010.It turns out the title is correct. Everyone that rented the DVDreceived a metaphorical bitch slap for falling for the old sexycover ruse.

Lest we forget Macgruber,where the title character is at first presented as a clumsy hero,only for us to discover, in a classic twist of comedy, thatMacgruber is a bigger scoundrel than his nemesis.

Conversely, there areseveral brilliant films that I have had the pleasure of reviewingtin 2010. The acting in The Joneses is off-the-chart outstanding!Just because David Duchovny is a sex addict doesnt mean his steamyscenes with Demi Moore taint the characters desire.

Kevin Kline resurrectedhis career in The Extra Man alongside Paul Dano and John C. Reilly.Playing an ambiguous, aloof eccentric, suits Kline as well as theStafford Collection at J.C. Penney fits my budget. It does not hurtthat Klines role is that of a master flirt. He flatters olderladies and offers them the pleasure of his companionship for thelow-low price of dinner parties and an evening at the theater. Weshould all be so fortunate!

Perhaps the greatestchallenge in 2010 has been sifting through a maelstrom of ambiguousfilms. Is Black Swan really deserving of an Oscar award? WhenNatalie Portmans character Nina stabs herself with a mirror shard,is it supposed to remind me of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct? Ofcourse not. Stone appeared naked in her salacious scene. Is theprospect of lesbian sex between Mila Kunis and Natalie Portmanenough to sell male audiences on paying to watch Black Swan? Isntthat a rhetorical question?

Contrast those eroticimages with James Francos portrayal of Aron Ralston in 127 Hours.Franco takes us through a whirlwind of emotions (fear, despair,jubilation, misery, regret) that Ralston felt and documented duringhis famous rock slide accident.

Both films have beennominated for major awards. Who deserves an Oscar more? Franco, forplaying a trapped climber condemned to live a life without an arm,or Portman for convincing us she is a misguided ballerina withsuicidal tendencies? This sort of ambiguity is what makes being amovie reviewer such a pleasure. There is no perfect answer to thequestion of which is a better film. All I can offer is an opinionbased on the material provided. P.S. - Did I mention I believeFranco is the clear winner? Thought I would posit that opinionbringing on the slew of reviews for your readingpleasure.

In order to add sizzle tothe spicy menu of film categories, As an additional bonus, thereare several fictional reviews sprinkled throughout The Moviegoerfor your enjoyment. If a reader sends a self-addressed, stampedenvelope to the publisher and guesses which reviews are fictional,I will attend their or their childrens bar mitzvahs (as long as Ican lead the hora!)

Remember ladies andgentlemen, The Moviegoer is for your entertainment. My goal hasalways been to offer readers a satisfying experience, and it is mysincere hope that this book achieves that result. Now sit back, andenjoy the show!

Action and Adventure

Same thing happened to mewith wife number two, 'member? I have no idea nothing's going on,right?I Come home one day and the house is empty, and I meancompletely empty. She even took the ice cube trays out of thefreezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ICE CUBE trays out ofthe FREEZER? Tom Arnold in TrueLies

From Paris WithLove

Director: Pierre Morel

Writers: Luc Besson , Adi Hasak

Stars: John Travolta , Jonathan Rhys Meyers , Kasia Smutniak

Release Date: February 5,2010 Wide

Production Co: LionsgateFilms

Rating:

From Paris With Love is amovie that proves that no matter what you expect to happen, theexact opposite will come true (a variation of Murphys Law).Viewers will notices that John Travoltas newest look is shocking.Sporting a thick goatee, and some of the most hideous outfits wornsince Hairspray, I was inclined (at first) to dismiss his macho actas a complete fiasco. Ten minutes into the movie, I could notpossibly have been more engaged, and more wrong. How did this quickreversal occur?

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (TheTudors, Match Point) plays James Reece, a wannabe spy working as agopher in the U.S. ambassadors office in London, England. Reece isexcited by the prospect of seeing real action; something which heknows nothing about. He is engaged to the beautiful and endearingCaroline (pronounced Caroleene and played by Kasia Smutniak).Shortly after Caroline proposed to our academic vanilla spy, Reeceis promoted by the Ambassador and given the assignment of workingwith Charlie Wax (John Travolta). At first, I am sure most fanswill roll their eyes, as within one minute of meeting Reece, Waxgoes off on a profanity-ridden tirade that we have heard onehundred times before, and are still waiting to enjoy. That beingsaid, the moment their adventure begins, we are made to feel notonly comfortable with Wax, but uncomfortable with Reece. Wax is sobadass that he makes James Bond look like a pansy. Meanwhile, Reecemight as well have a million frequent flyer miles, because he is atotal chicken. Working with Wax is part of the promotion. Reececlearly requires heavy-duty training and to disassociate himselffrom a carefree, love-infested lifestyle. Secret agents are notbookworms, or romantics who crave daily affection.