Olbermann - The worst person in the world : and 202 strong contenders

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Book:
The worst person in the world : and 202 strong contenders
Author:
Olbermann / Keith
Publisher:
John Wiley & Sons
Genre:
Books / Detective and thriller
Year:
2006
City:
Hoboken, N.J., United States
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4 / 5
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All of the failings and missteps of celebrities, politicians, and a few just-plain-dumb folks, as seen on MSNBCs Countdown with Keith Olbermann

Keith Olbermann is more popular than ever, and ratings for Countdown are up 85 percent over the last year. A key feature of the program is his daily award for The Worst Person in the World. From Ann Coulter and Barbara Bush to Bill OReilly and more, he brings the best of his worsts together in a wildly entertaining collection that reveals just how twisted people can beand how much fun it is to call them out on it.

Olbermann: author's other books

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Also by Keith Olbermann

The Big Show: A Tribute to ESPNs SportCenter (co-authored by Dan Patrick)

July 2005

Our panel holds a grudge.

Alone in This Universe

JULY 1, 2005

The bronze goes to New York State assemblyman Willis Stevens. He was monitoring one of those online discussion groups, 300 of his constituents in the city of Brewster, when he decided to send an e-mail to one of his assistants. He hit the wrong button. Instead, he sent it to all 300 people in the group. The e-mail read, Just watching the idiots pontificate.

The silver: A holdover from yesterday. Robert Novak, still one of the worst people in the world.

And the winner...

Tom Cruise! And this has got nothing to do with Brooke Shields or psychiatry or the movie War of the Worlds. He has another controversy running. Asked by the German tabloid Bildt if he believes in aliens, Cruise snapped at this guy, too. Yes, of course. Are you really so arrogant as to believe we are alone in this universe?

Maybe Tom is from another planet.

Tom Cruise, todays Worst Person in the World!

Chest for Hire

JULY 5, 2005

At the bronze level: Whoever runs the campus police at Texas State University in San Marcos. A man named Dave Newman saw a stranger drowning in the swirling San Marcos River. Newman went in and saved him. As he got out of the river, Newman was handcuffed by a Texas State University cop, who said Newman had ignored repeated warnings to get out of the river.

The silver goes to French president Jacques Chirac. He thought he was just passing time with Germanys Gerhard Schroeder and Vladimir Putin of Russia. He didnt know there were three translators and a reporter present as he started an international food fight about the English. The only thing they have ever given European farming is Mad Cow [disease]. You cant trust people who cook as badly as that. After Finland, its the country with the worst food.

But todays winner...

Paula Jones, not only for complaining to the New York Daily News that shes been left out of the Bill Clinton Presidential Library, but for threatening to visit the library. If some company pays her to do so, shed wear its logo on her T-shirt.

Paula Jones, todays Worst Person in the World!

Free the Press

JULY 6, 2005

The bronze: Members of the band Razor Light. They appeared in the Live 8 worldwide charity concerts over the weekend. Pink Floyd donated its profits from additional album sales to the charity. Annie Lennox did, as did the the Who. Razor Light says its keeping all the money it will make off the gig.

Ladies and gentlemen, this was Razor Lights farewell appearance. Good-bye, everybody.

The silver: O.J. Simpson. Police were summoned to his home in Kendall, Florida, when his girlfriend attacked Simpson and Simpsons friend, who then said she went after O.J. like a vampire and he just stood there and took it. Simpson did nothing wrong, so why has he been nominated?

Because our panel holds a grudge.

But your winner...

Judge Thomas Hogan of the U.S. district court in Washington. He sent a reporter to jail. The reporter might be wrong. She might be right. The law might be wrong. It might be right. But any way you cut it, you, sir, sent an American reporter to an American jail two days after the 229th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

Judge Thomas Hogan, todays Worst Person in the World!

Time to Buy

JULY 8, 2005

The bronze goes to Drew Sanders, a community center teen boys basketball coach in Staten Island, New York, who allegedly has an unusual way of teaching at least one of his players how to shoot. When he missed, police say, Sanders would throw the 15-year-old boy over his knees and then spank him with a paddle.

And the silver: A number of London hotels reported by the BBC and other news organizations there to have raised room rates the night after the subway bombing, one man saying he was charged $435 for what is usually an $80 room.

But the winner...

Our old friend, Brit Hume of Fox, who actually said on the air at 1:25 yesterday afternoon, after the bombings in London, My first thought when I heard, just on a personal basiswhen I heard there had been this attack, and I saw the futures this morning, which were really in the tank,hes referring to the futures options on the stock marketI thought, Hmm, time to buy.

Brit Hume, a great humanitarian and todays Worst Person in the World!

The Lion Is Meat

JULY 18, 2005

At the bronze level, theres baseballs top camera basher, Kenny Rogers. Today he turned himself in to the cops on the assault charges one of the cameramen brought, and gets a mug shot soon to be appearing on his bubble-gum card.

The silver: Wayne La Pierre, president of the ever-popular NRA, the National Rifle Association. Hes moving the groups 2007 convention out of Columbus, Ohio, after the city council there passed a ban on assault weapons. As a result, La Pierre tells the city, 65,000 people will not be coming to your wonderful convention center. Hundreds of exhibitors will not fill your halls with their latest guns, outdoor gear, and hunting accessories.

Im confused. Oh, I get it. He thinks thats a punishment! OK.

But todays winner...

Debra Lafave, the 24-year-old Tampa schoolteacher accused of having had sex with a 14-year-old student. Her attorney says plea negotiations have broken off because the prosecution demanded Lafave go to the Florida state womens penitentiary, and, quoting him, To place an attractive young woman in that kind of hellhole is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions.

Raw meat in with the lions. I guess thats how you could have described putting those 14-year-old boys in her classroom, huh? Huh?

Debra Lafave, todays Worst Person in the World!

Try Being Sorry

JULY 19, 2005

At the bronze level, theres Steven Segal. He is releasing an album on which he sings everything from blues to Jamaican dance-hall music. There is a kernel of good news: maybe he wont seem like such a lousy actor.

At the silver level, Gary Moody, the Maine man arrested for being a peeping tom while under the seat of a ladies outhouse. His excuse while pleading not guilty? He was in the toilet tank looking for his wedding ring. Thats the best he can do?

But the winner is...

Baseball pitcher Kenny Rogers. Long after his supposedly heart-felt public apologies, he turned himself in to police on charges of assaulting two TV cameramen. Another cameraman filmed him getting booked, and Rogers yelled at him: You must be pretty proud of yourself.

When the cameraman said he was just doing his job, Rogers replied: Yeahyour job. Thats just your excuse. Kenny, a quick helpful hint: next time you say youre sorry, try being sorry.

Once again...

Baseballs Kenny Rogers, todays Worst Person in the World!

Deferred Success

JULY 21, 2005

At the bronze level, weve got James Mazzarelli, who owns a small zoo in Litchfield, Connecticut. He says six customers tried to leave the place without paying. Police say he responded by locking them in the zoo with the animals.

Then theres Publicist X, the anonymous spokesperson for Fox News who today continued to issue personal attacks on the reporters and executives of the actual cable news networks. We dont know who X is. However, Fox Newss vice president of media relations is named Irena Briganti, and X presumably works for her. Ms. Briganti certainly doesnt want to appear as covering up for a cowardly, insecure, ashamed, gutless employee, so she should fire him or her posthaste.

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