Rita Braun - Murder On The Prowl

Murderon the Prowl

RITA MAE BROWN

SNEAKY PIE BROWN

BANTAMBOOKS NEWYORK TORONTO LONDON SYDNEY AUCKLAND

Castof Characters

Mary Minor Haristeen (Harry), young postmistress of Crozet

Mrs.Murphy, Harry's gray tiger cat

TeeTucker, Harry's Welsh corgi, Mrs. Murphy's friend and confidante

PharamondHaristeen (Fair), veterinarian, formerly married to Harry

Mrs. George Hogendobber (Miranda), a widow who workswith Harry in the post office

Market Shiflett, owner of Shiflett's Market, next tothe post office

Pewter, Market's shamelessly fat gray cat, who now lives with Harry and family

Susan Tucker,Harry's best friend

BigMarilyn Sanburne (Mim), Queen of Crozet society

Rick Shaw, sheriff

CynthiaCooper, police officer

Herbert C. Jones,pastor of Crozet Lutheran Church

Roscoe Fletcher, headmaster of the exclusive St. Elizabeth's private school

NaomiFletcher, principal of the lower school at St. Elizabeth's. She supports herhusband's vision 100%

Alexander Brashiers (Sandy), an Englishteacher at St. Elizabeth's who believes he should be headmaster

April Shively, secretary to the headmaster, whom sheloves

Maury McKinchie, a film director who's losthis way, lost his fire, and seems to be losing his wife

Brooks Tucker, Susan Tucker's daughter. She hastransferred to St. Elizabeth's

Karen Jensen, irreverent, a star of the field hockeyteam, and lusted after by most of the boys

Jody Miller, another good field hockey player, sheseems to be suffering the ill effects of an evaporating romance with SeanHallahan

Sean Hallahan, the star of the football team

Roger Davis, calm, quiet, and watchful, he isovershadowed by Sean

Kendrick Miller, driven, insular, and hot-tempered,he's built a thriving nursery business as he's lost his family ... he barelynotices them

Irene Miller, a fading beauty who deals with herhusband's absorption in his work and her daughter's mood swings by ignoringthem

Father Michael, priest at the Catholic church, a friend of the Reverend Herbert Jones

Jimbo Anson, owner of the technologically advanced carwash on Route 29

Coach Renee Hallvard, a favorite with the St.Elizabeth's students, she coaches the girls' field hockey team

Murder on the Prowl

1

Towns, like people,have souls. The little town of Crozet, Virginia,latitude 38, longitude 78 60', had the soul of an Irish tenor.

On this beautiful equinox day, September 21, every soul was lifted,if not every voicefor it was perfect: creamy clouds lazed across a turquoisesky. The Blue Ridge Mountains, startling intheir color, hovered protectively at the edge of emerald meadows. Thetemperature held at 72 F with low humidity.

ThisThursday, Mary Minor Haristeen worked unenthusiastically in the post office. Asshe was the postmistress, she could hardly skip out, however tempted she was.Her tiger cat, Mrs. Murphy, and her corgi, Tee Tucker, blasted in and out ofthe animal door, the little flap echoing with each arrival or departure. It wasthe animals' version of teenagers slamming the door, and each whap remindedHarry that while they could escape, she was stuck.

Harry, as she was known,was industrious if a bit undirected. Her cohort at the P.O., Mrs. MirandaHogendobber, felt that if Harry remarried, this questioning of her life'spurpose would evaporate. Being quite a bit older than Harry, Miranda viewedmarriage as purpose enough for a woman.

"What are youhumming?" 'A Mighty Fortress Is Our God.' Martin Luther wrote it in1529," Mrs. H. informed her.

"I should knowthat."

"If you'd come tochoir practice you would."

"There is the small matter that I amnot a member of your church." Harry folded an empty canvas mail sack.

"Ican fix that in a jiffy."

"And what would the Reverend Jones do? He baptized me in Crozet Lutheran Church ."

"Piffle."

Mrs. Murphy barreled through the door, alarge cricket in her mouth.

Close in pursuit was Pewter, the fat gray catwho worked days next door at the grocery store: nights she traveled home withHarry. Market Shiflett, the grocer, declared Pewter had never caught a mouseand never would, so she might as well go play with her friends.

In Pewter's defense, she was built round;her skull was round, her ears, small and delicate, were round. Her tail was abit short. She thought of herself as stout. Her gray paunch swung when shewalked. She swore this was the result of her having "the operation,"not because she was fat. In truth it was both. The cat lived to eat.

Mrs.Murphy, a handsome tiger, stayed fit being a ferocious mouser.

The two cats werefollowed by the dog, Tee Tucker.

Mrs. Murphy bounded onto the counter, thecricket wriggling in her mouth.

"That cat has brought in a winged irritant. Shelives to kill," Miranda harrumphed.

"A cricket doesn'thave wings."

Miranda moved closer to the brown shiny prey clamped inthe cat's jaws. "It certainly is a major cricketit ought to havewings. Why, I believe this cricket is as big as a praying mantis."She cupped her chin in her hand, giving her a wise appearance.

Harry strolled over to inspect just as Mrs.Murphy dispatched the insect with a swift bite through the innards, then laidthe remains on the counter.

Thedog asked, "You're not going to eat that cricket, are you?"

"No, they taste awful."

"I'll eatit," Pewter volunteered. "Well, someone has to keep up appear ances! After all, we are predators."

"Pewter, that's disgusting." Harrygrimaced as the rotund animal gobbled down the cricket.

"Maybe they're like nachos."Miranda Hogendobber heard the loud crunch.

"I'll never eat a nacho again."Harry glared at her coworker and friend.

"It's thecrunchiness. I bet you any money," Miranda teased.

"It is." Pewter licked her lips inanswer to the older woman. She was glad cats didn't wear lipstick like Mrs.Hogendobber. Imagine getting lipstick on a cricket or mouse. Spoil the taste.

"Hey, girls." The Reverend Herbert Jones strolled through the front door. Hecalled all women girls, and they had long since given up hope of sensitizinghim. Ninety-two-year-old Catherine I. Earnhart was called a girl. She ratherliked it.

"Hey, Rev."Harry smiled at him. "You're late today."

He fished in his pocket for his key and inserted it inhis brass mailbox, pulling out a fistful of mail, most of it uselessadvertisements.

"If I'm late, it's because I lent my car to RoscoeFletcher. He was supposed to bring it back to me by one o'clock, and here it isthree. I finally decided to walk."

"His car breakdown?" Miranda opened the backdoor for a little breeze and sunshine.

"That new car of hisis the biggest lemon."

Harry glanced up from counting out second-day air packetsto see Roscoe pulling into the post office parking lot out front. "Speakof the devil."

Herb turned around."Is that my car?"

"Looks different with the mud washed off, doesn't it?"Harry laughed.

"Oh, I know I should clean it up, and Iought to fix my truck, too, but I don't have the time. Not enough hours in theday."

"Amen," Mirandasaid.

"Why, Miranda, hownice of you to join the service." His eyestwinkled.

"Herb, I'm sorry," Roscoe saidbefore he closed the door behind him. "Mim Sanburne stopped me in thehall, and I thought I'd never get away. You know how the Queen of Crozettalks."

"Indeed," theysaid.

"Why do they call Mim the Queen ofCrozet?" Mrs. Murphy licked her front paw."Queen of the Universe is more like it."

"No, just the SolarSystem," Tucker barked.

"Doesn't have thesame ring to it," Mrs. Murphy replied.

"Humansthink they art the center of everything. Bunch of dumbDoras." Pewterburped.