Anthony De Mello - 31 Aug

Copyright 1990 by the Center for Spiritual Exchange

All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Image, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC, a Penguin Random House Company, New York.
www.crownpublishing.com

IMAGE is a registered trademark and the I colophon is a trademark of Random House LLC.

This Image Books edition published May 1992 by special arrangement with Doubleday.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

De Mello, Anthony, 19311987
Awareness : a de Mello spirituality conference in his own words / Anthony de Mello : edited by J. Francis Stroud.
p. cm.

1. Spiritual lifeCatholic authors. I. Stroud, J.
Francis. II. Title.
[BX2350.2.D446 1992]
248.482-dc2091-37433

ISBN 978-0-385-24937-9
eBook ISBN 978-0-307-80546-1

Cover design: Jessie Bright
Cover photograph: Art Wolfe

v3.1_r2

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

T ony de Mello on an occasion among friends was asked to say a few words about the nature of his work. He stood up, told a story which he repeated later in conferences, and which you will recognize from his book Song of the Bird. To my astonishment, he said this story applied to me.

A man found an eagles egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.

All his life the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings.

The old eagle looked up in awe. Whos that? he asked.

Thats the eagle, the king of the birds, said his neighbor. He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earthwere chickens. So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for thats what he thought he was.

Astonished? At first I felt downright insulted! Was he publicly likening me to a barnyard chicken? In a sense, yes, and also, no. Insulting? Never. That wasnt Tonys way. But he was telling me and these people that in his eyes I was a golden eagle, unaware of the heights to which I could soar. This story made me understand the measure of the man, his genuine love and respect for people while always telling the truth. That was what his work was all about, waking people up to the reality of their greatness. This was Tony de Mello at his best, proclaiming the message of awareness, seeing the light we are to ourselves and to others, recognizing we are better than we know.

This book captures Tony in flight, doing just thatin live dialogue and interactiontouching on all the themes that enliven the hearts of those who listen.

Maintaining the spirit of his live words, and sustaining his spontaneity with a responsive audience on the printed page was the task I faced after his death. Thanks to the wonderful support I enjoyed from George McCauley, S.J., Joan Brady, John Culkin, and others too numerous to single out, the exciting, entertaining, provocative hours Tony spent communicating with real people have been wonderfully captured in the pages that follow.

Enjoy the book. Let the words slip into your soul and listen, as Tony would suggest, with your heart. Hear his stories, and youll hear your own. Let me leave you alone with Tonya spiritual guidea friend you will have for life.

J. Francis Stroud, S.J.
De Mello Spirituality Center
Fordham University
Bronx, New York

ON WAKING UP

S pirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they dont know it, are asleep. Theyre born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. You know, all mysticsCatholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religionare unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox, to be sure. But, tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.

Last year on Spanish television I heard a story about this gentleman who knocks on his sons door. Jaime, he says, wake up! Jaime answers, I dont want to get up, Papa. The father shouts, Get up, you have to go to school. Jaime says, I dont want to go to school. Why not? asks the father. Three reasons, says Jaime. First, because its so dull; second, the kids tease me; and third, I hate school. And the father says, Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster. Wake up, wake up! Youve grown up. Youre too big to be asleep. Wake up! Stop playing with your toys.

Most people tell you they want to get out of kindergarten, but dont believe them. Dont believe them! All they want you to do is to mend their broken toys. Give me back my wife. Give me back my job. Give me back my money. Give me back my reputation, my success. This is what they want; they want their toys replaced. Thats all. Even the best psychologist will tell you that, that people dont really want to be cured. What they want is relief; a cure is painful.

Waking up is unpleasant, you know. You are nice and comfortable in bed. Its irritating to be woken up. Thats the reason the wise guru will not attempt to wake people up. I hope Im going to be wise here and make no attempt whatsoever to wake you up if you are asleep. It is really none of my business, even though I say to you at times, Wake up! My business is to do my thing, to dance my dance. If you profit from it, fine; if you dont, too bad! As the Arabs say, The nature of rain is the same, but it makes thorns grow in the marshes and flowers in the gardens.

WILL I BE OF HELP TO YOU IN THIS RETREAT?

D o you think I am going to help anybody? No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Dont expect me to be of help to anyone. Nor do I expect to damage anyone. If you are damaged, you did it; and if you are helped, you did it. You really did! You think people help you? They dont. You think people support you? They dont.