Naomi Hunter - One Little Life

Written by Naomi Hunter

Published by Empowering Resources
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First Published 2021
2021 Empowering Resources

No part of this printed publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electrical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher and copyright owner: Empowering Resources.

National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication
http://catalogue.nla.gov.au

Hunter, Naomi, author.
One Little Life / Naomi Hunter;
typesetting by Genevieve Gibson.

ISBN - 978-1-925592-41-2 (paperback)

ISBN - 978-1-925592-42-9 (ebook)

Other Creators/Contributors:
Genevieve Gibson - cover design, typesetting.

Printed and bound in Australia by
McPhersons Printing Group, Maryborough, Victoria.

To all the ones,

May our voices and stories be heard for true change to unfurl.

You, my dear one matter, more than youll ever know...

Its time for you to know.

Nai

This story was written on the traditional lands of the Wurundjeri people and printed on Dja Dja Wurrung Country.

We pay our respects to the Elders, past, present and future.

Life is hard.
We can do hard things.

- Glennon Doyle

Dearest One,

I never anticipated or gave any fleeting thought to writing my story and, although many people just assumed that one day I would, I had no idea it was ever going to be something that I deeply desired to do. And then, it just happened. One day, during the second COVID-19 strict Victorian lockdown in 2020, I woke up and had the beginnings of my narrative bubbling up inside of my soul, tugging at my heart, urging me to sit down and spill the story onto a page. I listened to that call and sat with the ugly discomfort, the intense fear and the disturbing insecurities that attempted to sabotage my abilities and I wrote while these annoying thoughts appeared...

Writer? Ha! Youve never written a novel before.

What makes you think that you can actually achieve this?

Who would want to read this dribble about your childhood horrors anyway?

No one is going to be interested in your stupid story no one!

Youre just embarrassing.

Youll scare people. Why would you share this with them?

Why dont you get a real job and leave writing to the experts?

In the early days of writing my autobiography when it was just my own respectful response to this deeper inner voice longing to be heard, I had no confident and settled feeling that Id actually be able to finish the entire story.

Would my skills be up to the challenge?

Would I be good enough?

Would it get too hard?

Would it get too traumatic and triggery?

Would I be able to write beautifully and consistently master the palatability of the content for my readers?

Would anyone really want to know what happened to me?

What if I upset people?

I silenced these fear-mongering doubts with sheer determination and carried on typing away. Some days, Id sit for two whole hours without being able to type a single thing while I waited for my brain to trust my heart enough to allow my body to unfreeze, and write.

My brain has been a wonderful custodian over my memories and my pain, and it takes an enormous amount of patience, courage and an unquestionably safe environment for it to unshield its blissful protection over my past. I knew that this project would be frightfully difficult, and it was, but it was so much more important to me to complete it. Hiding from the gut wrenching trauma, letting it win, was not an option.

Almost halfway through the writing process, I stumbled across a book by Chanel Miller called Know My Name where she tells her survivor story about being sexually assaulted on a Stanford University Campus. One particular section stood out to me where she aptly explains how important it is that we put our own discomfort aside and bravely listen to survivors stories and the detail they need to share. This shows them that their story, their traumatic experience, their pain, their invasion of privacy and ownership over their own body, the suppression of their voice, the violation of their rights, the absence of their deserved protection, and most importantly, their life, matters.

No assault is too painful to be witnessed or heard. And no story is too shame-filled or soul crushing to deserve to be healed from.

It also has another important impact. It stirs an unrest in people that ignites change. If we are moved into action after bearing witness to these excruciatingly painful stories, then we are all heading in the direction of making it harder for these kinds of stories to keep on happening. My husband and I have been saying this for years now Sexual abuse is not an incurable illness. There is so much we can do to prevent its prevalence. We just have to be courageous enough to want to.

I considered this when writing my own story and challenged the persistent self-doubt that it should be kept quiet and I should simply return to making everyone feel happy and good. But Im done with that be a good girl, Nai narrative. I decided that I would share my story because it is necessary. It is my truth. It is empowering and it is a brutally painful display of utter strength in the face of horrendous hardship. It will no doubt challenge you at times, but I am no longer apologetic for this as I know now that I didnt cause or deserve a single act of sexual, physical or emotional abuse that was done to me, nor does any survivor. And it is vital that we are heard.

My need to share my story is also for you, also the one, the survivor of these soul destroying acts that need to be witnessed and heard and validated. I will stand for you, with you, because it is our story in the end and we triumph because we are still here, fighting and thriving in a life that was once controlled by another, determined to ensure that another ones is not.

People will ask why I chose to write my story as a fictional narrative and my first answer to that is, well I dont really know; it is just how my story wanted to be written. I think it gave me a small separation from myself at times in order to write but it also unnerved me greatly that I was then placing another little girl into the distressing events that were unbearably cruel and where she would also be completely powerless. Honestly, I believe that this writing style provided me the freedom to write in a way that poured directly from my heart and in doing so, I was able to truly empathise with myself for the very first time.

Writing Lilys story made me realise that what I went through is significant, it matters, it was life-changing but I no longer need to feel the intense shame that has accompanied it my entire life.

I thank you for choosing to be so brave and so willing to hold space for me while I share my story. I hope you feel my intention of empowerment and strength as you turn each page and know that this is not just my story, it is the story of so many survivors and unfortunately, it will be for many more to come unless we feel moved into action.

I strongly hope you feel moved.

All my love,

Nai

Open Book

I am an open book,

Uncovered and raw with curled edges,

Read and put down by many,

Noticed, yet ignored daily.

I lay waiting,

Exposed are my stories,

Free for all to view.

Opinions come and go.