Dave Marinaccio - All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Watching Star Trek

Copyright 1994 by Dave Marinaccio

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published by Crown Trade Paperbacks, 201 East 50th Street, New York, New York 10022. Member of the Crown Publishing Group.

Random House, Inc. New York, Toronto, London, Sydney, Auckland

Originally published in hardcover by Crown Publishers, Inc., in 1994.

CROWN Trade Paperbacks and colophon are trademarks of Crown Publishers, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Marinaccio, Dave.

All I really need to know I learned from watching Star Trek / Dave Marinaccio. 1st ed.
p. cm.
1. Conduct of life. 2. Star Trek (Television program)Miscellanea. 3. Marinaccio, Dave. I. Title.
BJ1581.2.M35 1994 93-44654
158.1dc20

eISBN: 978-0-307-82423-3

v3.1

For
G.A.B.

I work in one of the noblest enterprises ever conceived by man, advertising. My work environment is a stress-filled one. About the only thing taken for granted is that todays problems will be completely different from yesterdays. At its best, it can be said that the job offers variety. Unfortunately, its the same old variety day after day.

In situations of change, it is natural for human beings to look for touchstones. As a human being, I had always sought a center to my life, an example to follow. What I hadnt realized was that I was already following a path into the future. It was pointed out to me at a business meeting.

I was comparing a current problem to something I had watched on television the previous night. I cant recall the particular problem, but I do recall saying, Well, we could be diplomatic, but as Scotty said on Star Trek last night, The best diplomat I know is a fully charged phaser bank.

You turn everything into Star Trek, a coworker responded.

She was right. For years Ive related everything in life to Star Trek. But why not? Captain James Tiberius Kirk is the most successful person Ive ever observed. Hes a great leader, a good manager of people, dedicated, moral, adaptable, at the top of his profession, gets the girls, is well known and respected. There are worse role models.

Most importantly, I was practically a Phi Beta Kappa in Star Trek. As a kid it was my favorite TV show. As an adult, virtually every night after work I would walk in the door, collapse on the couch and hit the remote control. Like most men, the remote control is part of my arm. Unlike most men, I can actually watch an entire program. Just so long as the program is Star Trek.

Anyway, that comment at work helped me discover something I already knew. I realized then that I already know whats necessary to live a meaningful lifethat it isnt all that complicated.

ALL I REALLY NEEDED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned watching Star Trek. These are the things I learned:

Each person or each species, no matter how alien, has the right to live their lives as they wish. (As long as theyre not trying to take over the galaxy or eat you or something.)

Everyone has a role in life. Sulu is the navigator. Uhura is the communications specialist. Do your own job and the ship will function more smoothly.

Whatever you are doing, answer a distress call. The most important time to help someone is when they need it.

If you mess something up, its your responsibility to make things right again. (Say you disrupt history and cause the Nazis to win World War II. To correct matters, you have to let Joan Collins walk in front of a car even though youre in love with her.)

The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play.

If you can keep your head in a crisis youve got a fighting chance.

The unknown is not to be feared. It is to be examined, understood and accepted.

Close friends become family and family is the true center of the universe.

End every episode with a smile.

And lastly, with time and patience you can even learn something from The Next Generation.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. It may be dressed in some real lame costume. But its there. Every situation you will face in life has already been faced by the crew of the Starship Enterprise NCC 1701. How to respond to challenge. How to treat your friends. How to pick up girls. How to get ahead on the job. How to run a business. How to bandage a wounded silicon-based life-form. Everything you need to know.

M any of the things that Star Trek teaches us are unintended. That doesnt make them any less important.

James T. Kirk is the model ships captain. Hes always in fighting shape. He has to be to handle the 2.5 fights per episode. Yet, there it is right in front of us. And right in front of him. A potbelly. Not your five nights a week at Dunkin Donuts New York City Police Department potbelly. But a very comfortable, lets not push back from the table just yet potbelly.

O.K., on Kirk it looks good. Of course on Kirk everything looks good. From the pointy sideburns to the uniform to the pointy-toed boots. But the potbelly is special. No question about it, it belongs there. Apparently, in the twenty-third century people will be at ease with their bodies.

Im forty. I work out three or four times a week. Each workout includes 180 sit ups and 40 leg lifts. However, I share every single workout with a potbelly the captain would be proud of.

Spot reduction, the concept of losing weight in a specific area of your body, is impossible. Aerobic activity will burn the fat off a human, just not off the parts a human desires the fat to be burned off of. At least thats what the health and nutrition specialist at the Old Town Athletic Club told me.

Problem is, Im not fat anywhere else. Just in the stomach. I figure any reduction would have to take place in that particular spot. Dont ask me why it doesnt.

Incidently, this potbelly thing is really a male problem. Women tend to gain weight in their thighs. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, as my mother used to say. Without a doubt the greatest inequity between men and women is the simple fact that a man can suck in his gut but a woman cant suck in her thighs.

At any rate, when I see James T. Kirk standing there on the transporter pad, phaser hanging neatly on the side of his slightly bulging waistband, I feel good. And so should you.

W orking for an advertising agency means working for many different clients. Ive created ads for literally hundreds of products, from Adorn hair spray to McDonalds hamburgers to Weyerhaeuser particleboard. Some companies are dominated by one personality, others develop a corporate culture. From what I have seen, both types of businesses can be successful. The key is that there be clearly identified corporate goals and a decision-making process.

When I worked on Sunkist Orange Soda, they had the most bizarre decision-making process imaginable. After the agency presented the new ideas for television or radio commercials, everyone in the room voted.