Bonnie Borromeo Tomlinson - Stop Buying Bins: & other blunt but practical advice from a home organizer

Copyright Disclaimer:
The information and advice contained in this book are based upon the personal and professional experiences of the author. The publisher and author are not responsible for any consequences resulting from the use of any of the suggestions, preparations, or procedures discussed in this book. Names and identifying details have been changed and fictionalized to protect the privacy of any individuals. In all cases, the retelling of these personal events are composites of multiple projects worked on by the author.

Copyright 2021 by Bonnie Borromeo Tomlinson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information or retrieval systems, without the permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America.

Editor: Kendra Adkins
Proofreader: Genevra Hanke
Book and cover design: David W. Edelstein
Author photograph: Yellow Lab Press
Cover illustration uses a resource from Freepik.com

Yellow Lab Press
Amherst, MA 01002

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021921933

ISBN: 978-1-7378818-0-3 (paperback)
ISBN: 978-1-7378818-1-0 (ebook)

Subjects:
Nonfiction | How-To | House and Home |
Self-Help | Organizing | Downsizing
HOM019000

For Gilly

And for my high school critical writing teacher
who sadly passed during the writing of this book,
the late Mr. Ronald Cecere,
whom I have often credited in conversation with inspiring me to write.

Acknowledgments

When I open a book for the first time, I like to start with the acknowledgments. More times than not, there is a list of namesagents, editors, publishersbeing thanked for their part in the business of the book. But every once in a while, there is a glimpse into the authors life that makes me smile in the knowledge that what Im reading is the sharing of a personal journey. Thats what this was for me. And these are the people I have to thank for their support along the way.

Thank you to Kendra Adkins, owner of Four Seasons Books in Shepherdstown, West Virginia, and yes, regardless of what I said just moments ago, my editor. Our relationship started out professionally, but our first meeting felt more like old friends catching up over coffee. I felt an instant bond with you and I know the universe put you on my path to show me what direction to take. You encouraged me to sign up for my first writers conference, which opened my eyes to the fact that I could indeed do this. You read my first pages and said, Im hungry for more, which lit the fire in me to make this book a priority. I cant thank you enough. Thank you.

Thank you to Deborah Zavos, my former therapist, who in the autumn of 2019 said, What would you like your life to look like a year from now? And without hesitation I replied, I would like to be a writer living in Amherst, Massachusetts. I will be forever grateful to you for making me proudly articulate out loud what I never had the courage to mutter internally before. Thank you.

Thank you to Ryan Pinkston, my former colleague, my sarcastic soul sibling, my sounding board, and one of my very besties, who regularly serves me the tough love I needheavy on the love. Youve talked me out of mistakes so many times Ive lost count. Thank you, my friend.

And thank you to too many friends to name individually (well, maybe just a few: Julie Marshall, Denise Strafaci, Randy Elkinson) who continually checked in on my progress, which was immensely helpful because more times than not I was procrastinating. Thank you also to the friends who made it clear they didnt think this project was anything more than a waste of timebeing underestimated has always been my biggest motivator.

And lastly, thank you to my daughter (and a far better writer than I), Gillian Blair Tomlinson. This is more of an apology than a thank you. Thank you for putting up with me. I know what a royal pain I can be when life is hectic and out of sorts. And since its just the two of us, you take the brunt of it all (occasionally I yell at the dog, but you know shes not listening). I hope that any issues Ive passed down to you are easily explained away by a professional mental health expert and that it makes your own writing better. I am exceedingly proud of the person you are and what part I had in getting you here. You are the person I want to be when I grow up. I love you.

If you are not listed in my acknowledgments, that does not mean, by any stretch of the imagination, that I am not grateful for you in my life. Everyone in my life, even on the periphery, affects who I am and how I write. You are part of the whole. And I am truly grateful.

Why You Should Read This Book:
A Note from the Author

As I sit to write this note from the author, I am barricaded in my bedroom with my dog, Athena, while there are painters in several rooms on several levels of my house. Im two months away from putting my house on the market. A house, that by the time I move, I will have lived in for 20 yearsthe longest period of time Ive ever lived in one place. This house has seen a typical family life: two very sheddy white dogs, violent morning sickness, a four-month kitchen remodel that nearly killed me, a divorce so respectful that it did not, and more than a few paint colors, which after this week will all be neutral.

Last month I left my day job. I thought it best to be unencumbered by a work schedule (and by unfortunate association, a paycheck) to focus on some life-changing personal turning points:

downsizing, renovating, and selling my house before moving out of state;

preparing my only child for her last year of high school and onto college; and

following through on my secret lifelong dream of being a writer.

Apparently tackling all of lifes milestones at the same time is how I do things.

Writing this book about downsizing while I myself am downsizing is purely coincidental, but I couldnt have asked for better timing! While Ive helped many clients with large-scale minimizing projects, Ive never had the need to do my own hard-target purge until now. And since looming in the not-so-distant future is a house half the size of the one Im currently in, Ive been paring down in anticipation of significantly less elbow room. Some items have gone to friends, others were sold at a charity estate sale; most, however, were dropped at my local thrift store, where up to three times a week the guys at the donation center started clearing space in the warehouse upon seeing my car. Ive gotten rid of a lot!

But what does all this mean for this diminutive book? (Im trying not to add to your clutter, after all.) It means that upon hearing the advice I have doled out over the years come back to me in my own voice, Im happy to report that I passed; the advice Ive given is sound. Thank goodness! (Especially since this book was conceived with the simple goal of helping people overcome their clutterand if I couldnt use my own guidelines in an efficient manner, how could I expect anyone else to?)

So now, armed with the skills Ive acquired through trial and error, working with (and more importantly, listening to) clients, AND having put those skills to a personal test in my own home, Ive recognized a distinct pattern. The pushback Ive received from clients with regard to their stuff comes down to three obstacles over and over again:

Decluttering our homes can be difficult.

Letting go of things can be challenging.

Living with less seems impossible.

My hope all along has been to break down these obstacles into easy, manageable stepssteps that tackle our resistance to downsizing the possessions in our lives before even considering plunging headlong into the act of physically purging. That personal internal work comes first because above all else, letting go of our things IS personal, not practical. The difficulty lies not in the actual value of these items but in the value we assign to them. Sometimes we convince ourselves of the emotional need to hold onto something for truly silly (even stupid) reasons. This book is ultimately an exercise in assigning appropriate real value to our objects and releasing ourselves from the burden of more. Im not here to judge, but I will put a mirror up to your reality so you can see your own situation for what it isan obstacle to a better-functioning lifestyle.