Susie Shellenberger - How to Help Your Hurting Friend

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HOW TO HELP YOUR HURTING FRIEND: CLEAR GUIDANCE FOR MESSY PROBLEMS
Copyright 2003 By Youth Specialties

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.

ePub Edition june 2009 ISBN: 0-310-86251-5

Previously published and copyrighted as Help! My Friends in Trouble by Vine Books, Ann Arbor, MI, 2000.

Youth Specialties products, 300 South Pierce Street, El Cajon, CA 92020, are published by Zondervan, 5300 Patterson Avenue SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49530

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Shellenberger, Susie.
[Help! my friend's in trouble!]
How to help a hurting friend : clear guidance for messy problems / by Susie Shellenberger.
p. cm.
Summary: Discusses how to make and keep friends and how to help friends deal with some of the difficult issues young people face, including depression, sex, illness, homosexuality, and violence. Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN-13: 978-0-310-24972-2
1. Teenage girlsReligious lifeJuvenile literature. 2. Problem youthReligious lifeJuvenile literature. 3. FriendshipReligious aspectsChristianityJuvenile literature. 4. Christian lifeJuvenile literature. [1. FriendshipReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Conduct of life. 3. Christian life.] I. Title.
BV4551.3.S543 2004
248.8'3dc22

2003016331

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible: NewInternational Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan.

Some of the anecdotal illustrations in this book are true to life and are included with the permission of the persons involved. All other illustrations are composites of real situations, and any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Web site addresses listed in this book were current at the time of publication. Please contact Youth Specialties via e-mail (YS@YouthSpecialties.com) to report URLs that are no longer operational and replacement URLs if available.

Editorial by Rick Marschall
Edited by Anita Palmer
Cover design by David Conn

07 08 09 10 11 12 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2

How This Book Works

You already know that this is a book about helping your friends with their problems. But to help your friend, youve gotta be a friend. And... well, youve gotta have friends.

So Section One deals with some good ol basic fun stuff on making and keeping friends.

Section Two deals at length with some heavy issues that some of your friends may be battling.

Section Three is a collection of several problems you and your friends will struggle with.

Hey, before you even begin reading this book, I first want to congratulate you on even having it. I mean, just the fact that youre holding this book tells me you really care about your friends. Thats awesome!

There may be times youre tempted to think,

Im just one person.
Can I really make a difference
in my friends life?

You bet you can! All through history, ones have been making a huge difference. For instance, did you know:

Just one voted caused King Charles I of England to be beheaded in 1649.

One vote made Adolph Hitler head of the Nazi Party in 1923.

Just one vote decided that Americans would speak English rather than German in 1776.

In 1845, one vote brought Texas into the Union.

In 1868, one vote saved President Andrew Johnson from impeachment.

One vote elected Thomas Jefferson president in 1800.

Just one man, Noah, heard and obeyed Gods voice and was able to save the entire animal kingdom and procreate humankind.

She was just oneand single, too!but Phoebe volunteered to deliver Pauls letter to the Romans. And how that book has influenced millions of Christians through the ages!

Just one manthe Son of Godthe greatest gift of all, offers eternal life to you and me... and your friends who are battling deep hurt.

You bet you can make a difference in your friends life!

ONE is extremely powerfulespecially when Jesus Christ is the One doing the empowering!

God bless you as you seek to be Jesus to those around you, Susie Shellenberger

For Kathy Gowler

It was in a tiny,primitive village in the middle of the jungle at the end of the world on one of our adventure treks that we learned the Kirikiri Tribe had a special word for friend-oolie:one who carries me.

I think there was actually another syllable to the word,but thats as much as we could understand.And its stuck.You truly are an oolie.We have carried each other around the world,jet-skied on the Indian Ocean,snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef, safaried in Africa and laughed till our sides hurt

Since this book is about friendship,I cant help but think of you as I fill these pages.I only wish everyone the whole world over could understand that true depth in friendshipsmothered in Jesus Christ produces oolieness-friends who carry one another-through midnighttears,lost files and a multitude of prayers to our Father.

Thank you,Friend.
My Sisto.My Oolie.

CONTENTS

making
Friends

Jamie always had a crowdaround her. She wasntespecially knock-outgorgeous. She usually had a coupleof zits, and she wasnt exceptionallygood at sports.

But she was one of the most popular students at school.
Everyone loved her!

Jamie was like a magnet. Wherever she went, someone wanted to be with her. It wasnt unusual for Jamie to be seen listening to one of the football players share a problem with her, or to see her showing a new student how to get to the biology lab.Why? What was it about Jamie that made everyone notice her? If her looks and her talents werent anything to brag about, what did she have going for her? Here it isshort and simpleJamie had learned the secret of being popular. She knew how to make friends and keep them.

You already know this book is about helping your friends who are struggling with hurt, confusion and a variety of problems. But guess what? In order for you to be a helping friend, you first have to have friends and be the kind of friend others want in their lives.

So before we actually get into how you can help your friends, lets first take a peek at how you get friends and become a friend, okay?

(This next stuff is going to be pretty basic. In fact, you may already know it all and can help me write my next book. If you dont need this part, feel free to totally skip it and flip to the very end of this sectionpage 17.)