Pete Manison - The Shadow Captain

Illustration by Alan M. Clark

Cara Wainwright had long since grown accustomed to the looks she got from the others, looks that said, What can you offer a Captain that I cannot? or, You think youre better than us, you and your Captain, or, Watch your back, sister. Perhaps Ill take your Captain from you. It didnt usually bother her. But today, out in the village and at the market, she couldnt help noticing the way they watched her, some with only curiosity in their faces, others with open hatred. It made her alone, loving a Captain. But that love was worth any price, and she hoped this was the answer those others saw in her eyes.

Will that be all, honey?

Cara focused on the vendor, a middle-aged woman who smiled at her in a way that made her feel not so isolated. This had been her home for twenty-seven years; perhaps she was imagining things.

Carrying her vegetables in a pouch over her shoulder, Cara left the market and started up the slow hill that led to the top of the high bluff. She could have bought a car, with all the money Rafael was always insisting she take. But she already felt conspicuous for the house he had bought her. And she liked walking.

It got harder all the time, Cara thought, harder to maintain the larger-than-life front that being the woman of a Captain demanded. But Captains were larger than life. They were the brightest and strongest of humanitys children. They alone could choose their destinies out among the stars. And only they could bestow that privilege on others.

Cara giggled suddenly. She must have been holding it in the whole time at the village without even realizing it. Now she couldnt stop, and she finally had to step off the path and set down the pouch and laugh and laugh until it had run its course.

Hes coming!

The message had been brief, almost cryptic. Be there soon. Tell no one. But Cara had only seen that he was coming, coming soon, and then the feeling good had started and it had just gotten better and better as the days had passed.

And now it was the day.

Cara stopped when she reached the big oak that shaded the road from the hot midday Sun. Standing there and looking out at the sea, she remembered so vividly the way it had been, right here under this tree, the first time he had come to her. That seemed a magical time now, almost as if it had happened in a movie and not in real life. She had been overwhelmed that a Captain could take an interest in her. And then she had learned to know him as Rafael instead of Gregor or Captain, and she had known at once that her heart could never again belong to a mortal man.

Hi, Cara.

Warm this afternoon, isnt it, Cara?

Cara turned. Two young girls from the villageshe talked to them often and could never keep their names straightwalked past her on the path back from the market. She smiled and waved, and after they had walked on she saw them bend their heads together to whisper something and then draw apart, laughing.

She waited for the girls to get some distance ahead before she went on.

Clean house, cook dinner, get dressed, get ready, clean house cook dinner get dressed. It was always the same, before her Captain arrived. Her thoughts danced faster and faster until they finally made her dizzy. And then the other thought happened, as it always did, and her heart pounded cold in her chest.

What if he didnt come?

But they said a Captain always kept his word.

Darkness took the sea as Cara stood on the balcony watching for fishermen in the bay. It had been outlawed, but she had seen boats almost every day. Whenever she could get a good enough look at one, she reported it. She wasnt sure if it did any good.

Hurry home, my Captain, hurry home to me, she whispered, holding her hands together beneath her chin and swaying slowly from side to side. They were the lyrics of a popular song, and sometimes the tune was too bittersweet for her and she cried, but not tonight, not when he was coming tonight.

She tried to remember what she had thought of the Captains before she had fallen in love with one. The Captains ruled wisely and benignlyshe had never doubted that. But sometimes she had wondered why they kept the gates of heaven closed to the rest of humanity. Were they hoarding the wonders beyond for themselves? Or were they protecting the world from the dangers that existed out there?

The bell chimed.

Cara started, then she turned. She took two steps before she froze, fear pulsing out from her heart to her whole body. Why was it always like this when he finally arrived?

Cara?

The hair on the nape of her neck stood up, and just then her legs came unstuck and she walked through the living room to the door, all the while chanting over and over, OK, OK, OK, OK.

Then she was opening the door, and he was standing there, looking just as she remembered him in his navy blue uniform, tall and dark with black hair and beard, and bright blue eyes that spoke of sights beyond the imaginings of ordinary men.

Cara, he said again, his voice softly cupping the name. She stood there staring at him for several seconds. Then he smiled, and without conscious thought she flung herself at him and hugged him so tightly her arms ached.

Rafael, she whispered, youre here.

She felt his hand in her hair. Yes, he said, Im here.

Cara drew back slightly, looking up at him. Her Captain was a tall man, as Captains tended to be, and he was solid and strong. As he looked down at her now, his hair brushing his shoulders and the half-moon insignia that unnecessarily signified his status, she thought as she often did that this was the most lovely creature built by God, that perhaps it was envy that had made Him create so few.

I missed you, Rafael. I never stopped missing you.

He smiled, that bright beaming smile that he brought from the sky just for her, but now there were shadows at the corners of his mouth, and his eyes looked deep into some space within her that she hadnt known was there.

Cara, theres something He stopped, looking down. It was the first time she had ever seen himseen any Captainshow uncertainty, and for some reason it felt like a cold hand squeezing her heart.

Dont, she said, leaning into him again. He rocked her head against his chest for a while, and Cara thought that this must be how Siva felt as he danced the dance that created the Universe one moment to the next. Only Sivas dance was eternal, and Captains never lingered so long.

Sometimes I thought you wouldnt come back, she whispered into his ear. His hands took her chin and gently tipped her face up to his.

I couldnt go on without stopping to see you, he said, and then his lips on hers awakened something in her chest that burned with an intensity she had never felt. She tugged at his hair as she felt his strong arms encircle her and lift her from her feet. After that it was all like a movie again, or like a dream, as he carried her out to the balcony and made love to her on the oaken deck with the sound of the surf pounding on the rocky shore below. It wasnt loud enough, though, to drown out Caras cries of delight as he brought her first to one climax and then to another.

She must have slept for a while after that, because when she opened her eyes the Moon had risen. Hed found a blanket and wrapped her in it, but when she reached out, he wasnt there. She turned her head.

Her Captain stood looking out at the sea, his knuckles white where they gripped the balcony railing, and in the light of the Moon Cara could see that his face glistened with tears.