Gibbons - Fierce optimism : seven secrets for playing nice and winning big

W e are in an unsettling time right now. Most of us are feeling uncertain about our futurespolitically, financially, environmentallyand maybe even downright worried. The loudest, brashest voices have become the fearmongers who are using their bully pulpits to convince others that its a mean world, and only those who are willing to respond in kind will win. We have seen a growing trend in our culture toward a way of thinking that not only tolerates but also promotes this kind of negative, mean-spirited behavior, which could turn the most hopeful among us into naysayers.

And so I can understand why you might look at me with a raised eyebrow and think: Really? Youre going to write a book about optimism, now?! Yes, now. In fact, there has never been a better time. This is not the moment to allow the floodwaters of negativity to wash us away from the place of hope, and faith, and high ideals for ourselves and others. Rather, its time for us to band together against negativity and fear. What could be a better rallying cry than Fierce Optimism? But let me be clear. Im not talking about wishful thinking, or even the power of positive thinking. Im talking about an idea that most content, successful people already know: optimism is a proven strategy for success that is scientifically quantifiable and easily applicable in both your professional and personal lives. It works.

After more than thirty years in Hollywood, Ive seen a lot, and Ive developed some survival tactics. At the top of the list is my optimism, which has been crucial for creating the life of my dreams and getting me closer to being the person I want to be. And if it can work for me, here, it can work for you, there, no matter what youre dealing with or how youve been getting by up until now. Let me share with you how I came by my ferocity, and my optimism, as well as the other strategies that have served me well.

My life comes with some great perks. One of the cool things about my job is that Ive been asked to appear on many game and competition shows over the years, from Hollywood Squares and Pyramid to Dont Forget the Lyrics and Dancing with the Stars. Being a Go big or go home kinda girl, and a perennial optimist who always expects the best, Im usually all in. But when I was contacted about competing on Celebrity Apprentice, I thought: Seriously? Me? Take on a team of celebrities hardwired for drama? Im way too boring to be on that show.

Its true. I have a masters in drama avoidance. But Im also as competitive as Donald Trump himself. The difference is, I dont think Trump has ever met a controversy or conflict he didnt like. That is the environment in which he thrives, and for him it seems the higher the stakes, the more thrilling the gamble. I may be much more understated than he is (well, seriously, who isnt?), but we share some of the same beliefs and have many similar ways of doing things.

Actually, I think theres a lot we can all learn from Trump. Early in his campaign, his team had a board at the front of the room where they managed his candidacy, which said, Let Trump be Trump. There it is, a useful message for all of us: we do best when we are one hundred percent exactly who we are. Thats where your strength and your power are, as well as your best chance to win. Trump owns this, and then some. In an interview with the Wall Street Journal he said, People think of me as not necessarily being nice but being competent. In a CNN poll, I was last in niceness. Enough with the niceness!

Obviously, that works for him, but for me, nice is a part of who I am. Its how I was brought up. Mr. Trump even said it was how I won Celebrity Apprentice, by leading with kindness. Again, we all win not by copying others but by simply being ourselves. This is a lesson Ive been mastering over many years now. But it still took all of my optimism to face down my fears and to agree to test out this theory on Trumps show.

I was immediately tempted to rise to the Celebrity Apprentice test, because thats how Ive always lived my life, but this was Donald Trumps boardroom, a venue so threatening, even the meanest girls and toughest guys had been reduced to tears, pouting, backstabbing, and tantrums. I knew I could do the work, but could I still be me while taking the heat? Could I play it my waynice and easywith my positivity dialed up to the max? Did I even want to? They needed an answer in a few days; the cast was all set except for this one last slot. If I said yes, Id be on a plane in forty-eight hours, headed from Los Angeles to Trump Tower in New York.

My husband, Steven, is not only the love of my life, but he also runs our business. He was the one whod originally fielded the call inquiring if Id be interested in competing on the show. Having had more than twenty years of experience managing talent (from Charlie Sheen to Arsenio Hall), he knows what works, and has guided game-changing decisions for many stars. As my business partner, my husband, and best friend, I value his opinion. From the get-go, Steven was convinced I should do it, and that I could win. Even my kids encouraged me to go for it.

I dont know, honey, I said skeptically to Steven. What if I break down?

You wont.

Steven knows me well enough to give me the space I need for my self-doubt. I usually talk myself out of it in a few minutes. After a brief, strategic pause, he played the best card in his hand.

You know, sweetheart, this can be a real game changer for your charity, he said. Thats more than enough incentive to get you to the winners circle.

Bam! There it was. I hate it when he does that.

I was backed up against my own passion and staring right at my purpose.

But if theres one thing Ive learned about getting ahead, its this: you wont get anywhere without doing your homework, and then preparing yourself some more.

I told everyone to put a pin in their persuasive pushing, while I tried to binge-watch a seasons worth of episodes on YouTube. Ive always been a fan of the show, but Id never watched it as someone who might have to walk into that lions den.

My first thought: OMG.

Not only did I not have enough sexy outfits to rock the boardroom with the other women, I didnt think I could possibly trash-talk my way through thirteen episodes. By the time I clicked through to view the finale, I was out of breath and out of time. I had to make a decision, now. Then, on that final show, I watched the heartwarming features describing the celebrity contestants nonprofit affiliations and the major money the winner could earn to make a difference. That was the most conclusive incentive for me, ever. I was in.

By the time Id agreed, I was ready to win. After all, I already ran my own business, which was full of entrepreneurial risks. Id created budgets, developed and sold products, written and produced radio and TV shows, and managed a staff of hundreds. I was accustomed to being in front of a camera on live shows with large audiences.