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Esther D. Rothblum - Boston Marriages: Romantic but Asexual Relationships Among Contemporary Lesbians

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title Boston Marriages Romantic but Asexual Relationships Among - photo 1

title:Boston Marriages : Romantic but Asexual Relationships Among Contemporary Lesbians
author:Rothblum, Esther D.
publisher:University of Massachusetts Press
isbn10 | asin:0870238752
print isbn13:9780870238758
ebook isbn13:9780585260792
language:English
subjectLesbian couples--United States, Platonic love.
publication date:1993
lcc:HQ75.6.U5B62 1993eb
ddc:306.84
subject:Lesbian couples--United States, Platonic love.
Page i
Boston Marriages
Page iii
Boston Marriages
Romantic But Asexual Relationships Among Contemporary Lesbians
Edited by Esther D. Rothblum
and Kathleen A. Brehony
The University of Massachusetts Press
Amherst
Page iv
Copyright 1993 by
The University of Massachusetts Press
All rights reserved
Printed in the United States of America
LC 93-4281
ISBN 0-87023-875-2 (cloth); 876-0 (pbk.)
Designed by Susan Bishop
Set in Janson Text by Keystone Typesetting, Inc.
Printed and bound by Thomson-Shore, Inc.
Library of Congress
Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Boston marriages: romantic but asexual relationships
among contemporary lesbians / edited by Esther D. Rothblum,
Kathleen A. Brehony.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 0-87023-875-2 (alk. paper).ISBN 0-87023-876-0 (pbk.: alk. paper)
1. Lesbian couplesUnited States. 2. Platonic love.
I. Rothblum, Esther D. II. Brehony, Kathleen A. III. Title:
Asexual relationships among contemporary lesbians.
HQ75.6.U5B62 1993
306.84dc20 93-4281
British Library Cataloguing in Publication data are available.
Page v
CONTENTS
Introduction: Why focus on romantic but asexual relationships among lesbians?
Esther D. Rothblum And Kathleen A. Brehony
3
Early Memories, Current Realities
Esther D. Rothblum
14
Coming to consciousness: Some reflections on the Boston marriage
Kathleen A. Brehony
19
Theoretical Articles
Nineteenth-century Boston marriage as a possible lesson for today
Lillian Faderman
29
"Why limit me to ecstasy?" Toward a positive model of genital incidentalism among friends and other lovers
Marny Hall
43
Celibacy
JoAnn Loulan
62
Lesbian courtship scripts
Suzanna Rose, Debra Zand, And Marie A. Cini
70
The Boston marriage in the therapy office
Laura S. Brown
86
Personal Stories
What's sex got to do with it?
Leslie Raymer
99
When we were whatever we were: Whatever it was that we had
Laura Moxie
109
She will never have the access to the total person that I have
Elizabeth
124

Page vi
We've had a lot of history under our belts
Part I: Angie
Part II: Cedar
132
138
Cast of Characters
Pat
141
"I think it has to do with the fact that I love her"
Janet andMarty
148
We have bliss
Ruth and Iris
157
A Boston engagement
Sarah
164
Television and books and just people talking make it seem that there is more sex going on than there really is!
Maria Briani and Kathleen O'Reilly
174
Discussants
Is sex a natural function? Implications for sex therapy
Ellen Cole
187
A matter of language
Marcia Hill
194
So what is a "Boston marriage" anyway?
Oliva M. Espin
202
Notes on contributors
209

Page 3
INTRODUCTION:
WHY FOCUS ON ROMANTIC BUT ASEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS AMONG LESBIANS?
Esther D. Rothblum and Kathleen A. Brehony
Picture 2
If you live long enough, the culture will find the truth of your eccentricity and embrace it.
Clarissa Pinkham Estes
The idea for this book germinated when one of us (Esther) received a letter from Charles Silverstein, author of the book The Joy of Gay Sex, and so the first pages of this account will be in her words. Silverstein was planning an edited book for lesbian and gay male psychotherapists that would be a compilation of case studies. In his letter, he stressed the fact that gay and lesbian therapists had extensive knowledge of issues facing gays and lesbians in U.S. society today, but that these issues were rarely published. As an example, he listed the topic of "compulsive sex" among gay men.
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