Joy Thomas Moore - The Power of Presence: Be a Voice in Your Child’s Ear Even When You’re Not with Them

I really wish your mom would write a book.

Ever since The Other Wes Moore was published in 2010, I have had the privilege to travel all over the country and the world, sharing the stories of these two boys, their journeys into manhood, and what I hoped the world would take away from my book. At many of the talks or gatherings I led, I would have question-and-answer sessions. At these sessions, questions about my mom were omnipresent: how she felt about her journey, what she learned, what advice she would give. Those questions were constants. And the truth is that when those questions came to me, unable to speak for her, I left the answers bare. It was not just that I didnt feel comfortable answering for her. I didnt know the answers.

The love I have for my mother cannot be explained simply by words, cannot be contained in a foreword. I believe my little sister said it best when she once said, Our mother wore sweaters so we could wear coats. This is a woman who sacrificed everything she had and everything she was for her kids because she knew she was all we had. She watched her soul mate die in front of her, and the thing that kept her together after that was her faith in God and her faith in her children. We, my sisters and I, are the direct products of her love, commitment, and undying faithfulness to God and to us.

I watched her struggle and sacrifice. I watched her need, but never want. I watched her strive for perfectionand even the times when she fell short, it was never from a lack of effort. I also watched her cringe as the conversation around single parents continued to evolve and devolve in this country.

So as my mom writes this book, my pride in who she is and what she stands for only grows. This book is not just a response to the questions I received from countless people about my mom. Its a call to action about a larger dynamic in our society. The truth is, my mother is not alone: Half of all children are growing up in single-parent households. If you happen to be a child of color, the number is even higher. And we have noticed a correlation and a causal relationship between single parentssingle moms and single dadsand poverty. The point of this book is not to question the stats, its to question the context and the takeaways from these dynamics.

The parents who for whatever reason are raising their children on their own have been demonized. They have been told their choices are the reasons for societal ills and manifestations of a lack of responsibility or concern. We have been taught to point fingers at them instead of lifting our hands to support them. We have been served the welfare queen line as a prevailing narrative, instead of calling that offering what is it, a hateful misrepresentation.

This book is a celebration of resilience, an homage to the fact that single mothers are not our nations burden, but our nations backbone. Instead of preaching to them, we need to be learning from them. And hearing their voices as our national consciousness, in many cases, lies in their words. And in their prayers for their children.

In Moms words, and in the lives she shares in this book, I see hope. I see unexpected victory. I see the best of us, dressed in struggle. Worn. Tired. Victorious.

The greatest human gift God gave me was one I did not earn, nor one I asked for. The greatest gift was that He asked Joy Thomas Moore to give birth to me. My uneven and complicated journey was steadied by those beautiful Jamaican hands and the woman who was willing to give it all for her children. That reality I will never forget nor understate. But I know she did not do it alone. She could not have. The people who surrounded her, and surrounded us, when we needed it most, helped us through. The goal of this book is to ensure that our story, which in essence is laced with luck, doesnt have to feel exceptional. Nor should the celebration of this books author feel exclusionary; my hope is that it is trendsetting.

Maya Angelou once said, To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. Our parents are our force field, and our external immune systems: the ones who keep outside forces and illnesses from permanently derailing us and keep small challenges from becoming ending ones. They are our lions and lionesses, the ones who tend to their pride diligently, with a sole focus on protection. They are our air traffic controllers, whose counsel gives us an ability to understand when potential complications are ahead and how to navigate through the turbulence. They are our daily reminders of Gods love.

Thank you, Mom, for all you have given Nikki, Shani, and me. And thank you, through your example and through this book, for making me a better parent to your grandkids.

Wes Moore

February 2018