Dr Emma Mardlin - Out of Your Comfort Zone: Breaking Boundaries for a Life Beyond Limits

To my mum, Clare, who has always pushed her own boundaries in amazing ways, and is continually encouraging my sister and me to do the same.

To my sister, Francesca, incredibly pushing a very personal comfort zone in having her first baby this year a massive congratulations to Chess, Andy and Maddison Alexandra Dutton, Born 5 October 2018!

Out of Your Comfort Zone

I seriously pushed my boundaries and found great inspiration from reading Mind Body Diabetes and then reading Emmas second book Out of Your Comfort Zone. I found it a powerful and enlightening read in so many ways, the perfect resource taking me to new and exciting heights with my life in general. A truly excellent book for whatever stage of life youre at, with whatever fears or holdbacks you may have.

JO BERRY, peace activist, public speaker, and conflict resolution consultant

Seeing Dr Em and applying everything in this book, Ive learned how to step out of my comfort zone and seriously break boundaries to experience an amazing life that was once unimaginable, given my severe traumatic anxiety. From being told Id always be on antidepressants to now being medication-free, Im a happy, healthy, and successful 23-year-old. Thank you so much. A brilliant read encapsulating everything!

JASMINE DOUGHTY, civil servant and positive change advocate

Having experienced life at my lowest ebb, to the extent I was ready to end it all, I can say 100 per cent that Em made an enormous difference in the way I saw life. Without all her helpbasically everything shes put in this bookand her natural manner to add a certain sense of humour and solution in even the darkest times, I would have been pushed over the edge. Thanks to all our work Im a totally different person from that time and for sure out of my comfort zone, pushing new boundaries like you wouldnt believe! Thank you so much.

VINCENT SHAY, ex-military personnel, outdoor pursuits trainer, and youth leader

Enormous thanks to

My partner, and close family and friends, who continue to inspire and encourage me in various ways, particularly those named throughout this book.

Valuentis Limited for their support in getting my questionnaires online to share with the rest of the world. All my clients, delegates, students and readers, who continue to push their own boundaries in amazing ways, achieving phenomenal results.

My personal healthcare team, who allow me the space and discretion to continually push my own medical boundaries and research.

INTRODUCTION

PUSHING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES

Its the best way to test yourself. Have fun and push boundaries.

Richard Branson

H appily using the past tense, and without trying to sound too dramatic, Ive quite literally stared death in the face a good few times, and had to confront issues I was petrified of when facing some things Id never even contemplated.

Being told I was going blind, for one. Or finding myself in a critical medical situation mid-flight at high altitude over a war zone, with essential work commitments to deliver the next morning in a foreign country. Not to mention the many business bombshells and life curveballs along the way that have pushed me well outside my personal comfort zone.

From as young an age as I can remember my mum has encouraged my sister and me to do the things we were most scared to do. Essentially, she was encouraging us to push out of our comfort zones, despite us usually making a fuss and wanting to run a mile! Although to be fair to my sister and me, this did include removing spiders from the bath, riding the biggest roller coasters, stroking every creepy-looking animal in the zoo and confronting bullies, as well as speaking to people wed usually hide from, ordering from the menu for ourselves and wait for it even meeting the sullen bank manager by ourselves to start our kids saver accounts... you name it, we had to do it!

My mum is in no way a horrible mum (although we did try threatening her with Childline a few times for making us do all the things we feared). She is in fact a brilliant mum and incredibly smart too. By actively encouraging us from the off to smash right through any comfort zones, break our boundaries and develop new resources, she raised two very resilient girls. And now I know all too well that one of the core principles of successfully pushing through your comfort zone is to do the very things that scare you by putting yourself in a space where you have little other choice. In the words of Richard Branson, Screw it, just do it!

However, I also know its not always that simple as we develop and go through life to remain unaffected by the various traumas and curveballs that can come hurtling our way. They can leave a nasty dent to the head that seems to imprint on the mind, often leaving a lasting impression.

Although Im a resilient character, Im definitely not infallible when it comes to fear. Professionally in all I do, coupled with, in my personal life, managing two chronic conditions as well as life and business in general, I deal with fear in one way or another pretty much daily... so one might say Ive gone the extra mile, having tried and tested everything I write about, develop and do. Im also no stranger to having to step out of my comfort zone and push my own boundaries to the extreme, as my work and research involves the full reversal of Type 1 diabetes, which has never before been done in this way and is often misunderstood. So, as Im the primary lab rat most days, and seriously having to practise what I preach, it puts me to the test!

When it comes to personal experience of facing fear, Ive certainly been around the block a few times, which has enabled me to develop experientially most of the resources youll find in this book.

Although, thanks to my mum, my natural instinct is to just get on with things whether I feel the fear or not, Ive equally been confronted with outright fears where such an approach hasnt been possible. And were all different in the fears we experience and the ways in which we can deal with them. Hence the book takes a multi-pronged approach to stepping outside comfort zones.

Here, from my personal experience, are two examples of different kinds of fears, the different kinds of situations from which they arose and the different kinds of resilience and resources needed to tackle them.

Since I was very small Ive never liked heights, and over time this only ever got worse by developing into a full-blown, irrational fear (acrophobia). This got so out of hand that:

I missed out on going up the Eiffel Tower with friends.

I missed seminars at university because they had been moved to the top floor of a tower building and despite my best attempts I just froze on the stairs. I had a lot of notes to catch up on!

I completely ruined my birthday surprise, a concert, by sitting petrified throughout in the gods I literally didnt move from beginning to end and spent the whole time planning how I was going to get down from what seemed like the ceiling without a fuss thank goodness for the very tall man in front of me shielding me from the view!

On one holiday I held everyone up at the end of a jungle assault course because I hadnt realized that in order to complete it you had to walk across a stupidly high rope bridge. Despite an irate German kid pushing me from behind and shouting obscenities at me to get on with it, I had to run the whole course backwards, as my only other option to escape.