Dean Sluyter - Fear Less: Living Beyond Fear, Anxiety, Anger, and Addiction

Advance Praise for Fear Less

Trying to be fearless often becomes yet another thing to fail at, but if you can just fear less, peace is well within reach. This book is your best guide for achieving that. Dean Sluyters kind, accessible tone talks with you, so you always feel he is by your side as you make the journey.

Mark Goulston, MD, author of Get Out of Your Own Way and Just Listen

Om meets Wheeeeeee! Sluyter careens merrily from the Buddha to Willie Nelson, from prison stories to The Wizard of Oz, but it all leads usstep by practical, loving steptoward a life of peace. Who knew that learning how not to be freaked out could be so much fun?

Michael Kane, author of Heal Your Broken Heart

As a recovering alcoholic and not-so-recovered depressed person, Ive long been aware that mindfulness would be helpful to my life, but its just so intimidating. Not so with Sluyter, who pairs concrete suggestions with a no-pressure attitude that makes this book feel like its written by a really smart friend. He also shows how to incorporate the techniques into other programs of recoverya rare but crucially important component. Youll want to revisit Sluyters wisdom again and again.

Katie MacBride, journalist; author of the Ask Katie recovery advice column

In his friendly, easygoing style, Dean Sluyter shows how to surf even the biggest waves of powerful emotions. A delightful and necessary guide to staying sane in these interesting times.

Lyn Genelli, marriage and family therapist; author of Death at the Movies

Dean Sluyter has written a beautiful book that shows us how to navigate the free-floating anxiety of everyday fears. He shows us, with insight and humor, how to access the deep silence that is available to everyone. Fear Less is rich with inspiration and practices that lead to a more unobstructed view of reality. It is a book to be enjoyed over and over again.

Edward Viljoen, author of Ordinary Goodness and The Power of Meditation

I especially like the lessons Dean draws from his experiences teaching in prison. Ive had the privilege of going behind bars with him and have witnessed his transformative work there. If those men can come out of fear and rage, anyone can.

Lama Willa Miller, PhD, founder of Natural Dharma Fellowship; author of Everyday Dharma

Dean Sluyter wields his pithy wit and profound wisdom like a laser light, pointing directly to the truth we need to embrace: fear doesnt have to own us any longer. Using various forms of exquisitely simple meditation techniques, the author doesnt just point the wayhe takes our hand and gently leads us. Dean equips us with the tools necessary to slay the tyrant that holds us captive in the dungeon of our own making. The dungeon is our mind and the tyrant is fear. Read Fear Lessit will help you set yourself free!

Dennis Merritt Jones, award-winning author of The Art of Uncertainty, Your (Re)Defining Moments, and The Art of Abundance

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Copyright 2018 by Dean Sluyter

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Photograph credits

Pages : By the author

Pages : Wikimedia Commons

Page : 2016 by Tara Wings Sluyter

TarcherPerigee with tp colophon is a registered trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.

Portions of this book originally appeared, in different form, in The Huffington Post and The Mindful Word.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Sluyter, Dean, author.

Title: Fear less : living beyond fear, anxiety, anger, and addiction / Dean Sluyter.

Description: New York : TarcherPerigee, [2018]

Identifiers: LCCN 2017042107 | ISBN 9780143130277 (pbk.)

Subjects: LCSH: Meditation. | Stress management.

Classification: LCC BL627 .S589 2018 | DDC 158dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017042107

Ebook ISBN: 9781101993750

Neither the publisher nor the author is engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as a substitute for consulting with your physician. All matters regarding your health require medical supervision. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion in this book.

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate Internet addresses and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

Cover design: Lucy Kim

Version_2

ALSO BY DEAN SLUYTER

Why the Chicken Crossed the Road and Other Hidden Enlightenment Teachings

The Zen Commandments:
Ten Suggestions for a Life of Inner Freedom

Cinema Nirvana:
Enlightenment Lessons from the Movies

Natural Meditation:
A Guide to Effortless Meditative Practice

For Jim

and

For Rosie

CONTENTS

The capacity for experience is what burns out fear.

JAMES BALDWIN

THE COWARDLY LION: Somebody pulled my tail!

T HE SCARECROW: Oh, you did it yourself.

The Wizard of Oz

PART I

Come and See

CHAPTER 1

The Monster Under the Bed

I was scared of the ball.

They called it a softball, but it seemed plenty hard to me: I had felt it sting my fingers, smack my chest. As it shot toward me, my whole body flinchedthat is, when it came toward me at all, as I stood exiled in far right field, where the team hoped I would do the least damage.

I was the skinny, uncoordinated kid: the spaz, in the fifth-grade playground lingo of the day. The only game I was good at was dodgeballnot hurling the ball at others, but jumping out of its way. That made perfect sense to me.

Every recess started with the mortifying ritual of choosing teams. The two captainsbig Chuck and quick, wiry Rickypicked boys from best to worst till they finally came to the slow, heavy kid and me, the dreaded dregs. After much disgusted stalling, one captain would sigh dramatically and say, OK... well take Fats if you take Spaz.

In the classroom, I had no fear. I cheerfully took over discussions, settling back in my seat and enjoying a chummy tte--tte with the teacher, only dimly aware of the restless fidgeting going on all around me. Eventually I noticed Chuck, in the back corner near the door, self-exiled to his own right field, head down, trying for once to be small. Hmmmmm... a history question shooting toward him threatened as much danger and humiliation as a softball did for me. Different people, different situations, same feeling. Interesting.