Bob Burg - The art of persuasion: winning without intimidation

Copyright 2011 by Bob Burg

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review; nor may any part of this book be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or other, without written permission from the publisher.

Tremendous Life Books

118 West Allen Street

Mechanicsburg, PA 17055

www.tremendouslifebooks.com

and

Sound Wisdom

167 Walnut Bottom Road

Shippensburg, PA 17257

www.soundwisdom.com

Previously published as Winning Without Intimidation by Executive Books, 1998.

Gender usage: The author feels strongly regarding the use of gender equality in his writing. The pronouns his and her, he and she, and him and her have been used interchangeably.

Trade Paper ISBN: 978-0-7684-1300-7

Ebook ISBN: 978-0-7684-8700-8

For Worldwide Distribution, Printed in the U.S.A.

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To Mom and Dad, as always: I love you more than life itself, and treasure the fact that G-d chose me to be your son.

Dad: this is really your book. You are my hero and my mentor, and youve taught me these principles. In fact, you taught me these principles in the very best way possible: you have lived them every day! The work I do is simply carrying on your message.

This is the most difficult section for every book I write, because no one is more aware than I of how little I actually know, and that producing a book is very much a team effort. As always, Ill do my best to mention some of the key players, realizing that there will be many people not mentioned who should be. To those inadvertently left out, please forgive me and know that you are in my heart.

My family: you are always there for me with love, support, and encouragement.

Kathy Zader: you are my de facto business partner and the person who makes my company run. You continue to amaze me with your ability to dowell, everything. And mainly, by how you always make me look good. You are truly the Agent 99 to my Maxwell Smart.

Ilene Vucovich: you are a true team player with exceptional organizational skills and, even more importantly, a sense of loyalty second to none.

All the full- and part-time team members at Burg Communications, Inc.: thank you. Teamwork is what makes our team work.

John David Mann: teaming up with you to write the Go-Giver books was one of the best ideas I ever had, if I do say so myself. Thanks for adding your light editorial-sandpapering touch to this book.

Special friends, mentors, and heroes who have taught me so much and made such a huge difference in my life: there are too many of you to even begin mentioning you one by one. You know who you are. I only hope you know how much I appreciate you.

My clients: without you I wouldnt have an audience and the pleasure of involvement in such a wonderful, rewarding, and fun career such as this.

The positive persuasion legends, such as Dale Carnegie, Les Giblin, Abraham Lincoln, and so many others: as far as Im concerned, you are our national treasures.

And finally, you, dear reader: for your participation, feedback, and involvement. With me, this book is only an idea; you are what completes the process.

What if you could get what you wantwhen you want itand from whom you want itincluding the difficult people you all too often come across?

Would that interest you?

Would that excite you?

Practically everyone would love to have that ability, wouldnt they?

In studying some of the most successful men and women in historyBenjamin Franklin, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Teresa, Mohandas Gandhiwe notice they share many common characteristics. Each of these winners had a burning desire, coupled with great creativity, and a total, unshakable belief in their mission or cause. One trait which stands above all the rest is their ability to win people over to their way of thinking through the art of positive persuasion.

According to Websters Dictionary, to win means to succeed or prevail in a contest or effort; to triumph; to be victorious. To persuade is to cause someone to do something, especially by reasoning, urging or inducement. Persuasion means to prevail upon. When we persuade effectively, it results in others taking action. When we persuade positively, it results in others taking positive action. Persuasion does not mean manipulation.

In his book The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen, Dr. Paul W. Swets writes, Manipulation aims at control, not cooperation. It results in a win/lose situation. It does not consider the good of the other party In contrast to the manipulator, the persuader seeks to enhance the self-esteem of the other party. The result is that people respond better because they are treated as responsible, self-directing individuals.

Throughout the pages of this book, you will find skills, techniques and attitudes of positive persuasion that, as you learn, internalize and apply them, will make your life a whole lot easier, a whole lot less stressful, and a whole lot more fun.

(By the way, although Ive been using the phrase positive persuasion, the truth is that, as Dr. Swets has pointed out, persuasion by its very nature is positiveso from here on in, Ill simply use the term persuasion with the assumption that were talking about something that is both positive and benevolent.)

Am I actually telling you that winning through persuasion is simply a skill? That anyone can learn to be a winning communicator?

Yes, I am.

I know, that sounds like a bit of a stretch. It really isnt. Persuasion skills are not something most of us are born with. Like riding a bicycle, driving a car, or fly-fishing, it is a skill you can learn. And it is not only a skill you can learn, it is one you can master.

Mastering the art of persuasion. Now thats exciting!

Ive heard it said that success in most areas of life is based 10 percent on technical skills and 90 percent on people skills. From my experience, those figures ring absolutely true. In The Art of Persuasion, youll learn those people skills necessary to ensure that you have all the advantages needed to put that 90 percent to work for you and for others, too; day in, day out in all areas of your life and work.

I wish I could take credit for inventing these skills. I cant. Ive been very fortunate not only to read and study the great masters of winning persuasion, but to grow up with and learn by example from many of them as well. Ive simply taken what Ive learned and applied and put it all into a simple, easy-to-use resource. Anyone can learn these skills and apply and benefit from them for the rest of their lives.

Here is one important key to knowing you are doing this right. If, in the process of persuading a person to your side of an issue, they feel as good about it as you do, then you have not bullied, coerced or manipulated. You see, genuine winners are those people who can get what they want from others in such a way thats of genuine and lasting benefit to everyone involvedwhether its better seats at the theater or ball game, more cooperation at work and at home, the accomplishment of your life-long dream or a variety of other advantages. I call this winning without intimidation. Yes, you can indeed obtain satisfaction and be loved while youre doing it. Thats power; thats influence.

Theres absolutely no reason to live or work as a person whos constantly picked on, emotionally put down, taken advantage of, or made to settle for less in any way. And theres certainly no reason to ever resort to bullying or manipulating people to get what you really want, either.