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Conklin Jennifer Beth - Comeback Moms: How to Leave Work, Raise Children, and Restart Your Career Even if You Havent Had a Job in Years

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Conklin Jennifer Beth Comeback Moms: How to Leave Work, Raise Children, and Restart Your Career Even if You Havent Had a Job in Years
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What happens when an educated professional wants to become a stay-at-home mom but not end her career forever Here is a book for the millions of moms who want to do whats best for their families and for themselves. Monica Samuels and J.C. Conklin show what to do when youre ready to leave work to be a full-time mother, how to maintain contacts while away from the job, and then how to execute a successful reentry into the workforce anywhere from one to twenty years after youve left. Comeback Moms is filled with anecdotes and advice from economists, career counselors, employers and, of course, mothers who have made the transition from the career track to the mommy track and back again. The authors distill the wisdom of the experts and many high profile women--including Ambassador Karen Hughes, Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings, and former Texas Governor Ann Richards--into a three-tiered battle plan to help any woman get through this life-changing process and come out ahead. You cant fall into the trap of thinking you have to do it all or can do it all. You have to take advantage of opportunities when theyre offered. Anne Richards, former Governor of Texas Millions of educated, professional women are quitting their jobs to stay home and raise their children. That would never be you, right You worked hard for your degree and even harder to get to this point in your career. Quitting now, even for a few years, would kill your career. Right Thats what Monica Samuels thought when she found out she was pregnant and boy, was she wrong. Once you have a baby, your life changes in ways youd never imagine. Some of your friends and family members may think youve gone a little crazycrazy enough to leave a salary and paid vacations to stay home with your child. Before you go storming into your bosss office to announce your departure, read this book. Theres more to quitting than saying the words. Theres strategy involved. Over sixty percent of professional women who leave work to raise children want to go back into the workforce someday. If you even think you might want to go back to work, be it in one year or twenty, you need to lay the groundwork now for a successful reentry or your options will be limited. If you do a little planning, you can reposition yourself professionally and have the choice to one day get back on the same career track, shift gears, accelerate, or change careers entirely. And, if youve already been out of the workplace for several years and never thought youd go back, youll learn about the best strategies and resources for jumping back in. Comeback Moms is a practical, commonsense approach to career planning for all mothers. Monica Samuels and J.C. Conklin examine every conceivable angle and obstacle to help you make the best decisions possible before leaving your job, during your time at home, and once you decide to return to work. They offer advice on how to keep one foot in the professional pool, when and if its best to go back to school, setting realistic expectations when re-entering an old career, helping your children adjust when you do go back, and on the logistics of rebalancing marital power when a spouse leaves or re-enters the work force. Its all here in an invaluable guide for every woman who wants it all. Read more...
Abstract: What happens when an educated professional wants to become a stay-at-home mom but not end her career forever Here is a book for the millions of moms who want to do whats best for their families and for themselves. Monica Samuels and J.C. Conklin show what to do when youre ready to leave work to be a full-time mother, how to maintain contacts while away from the job, and then how to execute a successful reentry into the workforce anywhere from one to twenty years after youve left. Comeback Moms is filled with anecdotes and advice from economists, career counselors, employers and, of course, mothers who have made the transition from the career track to the mommy track and back again. The authors distill the wisdom of the experts and many high profile women--including Ambassador Karen Hughes, Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings, and former Texas Governor Ann Richards--into a three-tiered battle plan to help any woman get through this life-changing process and come out ahead. You cant fall into the trap of thinking you have to do it all or can do it all. You have to take advantage of opportunities when theyre offered. Anne Richards, former Governor of Texas Millions of educated, professional women are quitting their jobs to stay home and raise their children. That would never be you, right You worked hard for your degree and even harder to get to this point in your career. Quitting now, even for a few years, would kill your career. Right Thats what Monica Samuels thought when she found out she was pregnant and boy, was she wrong. Once you have a baby, your life changes in ways youd never imagine. Some of your friends and family members may think youve gone a little crazycrazy enough to leave a salary and paid vacations to stay home with your child. Before you go storming into your bosss office to announce your departure, read this book. Theres more to quitting than saying the words. Theres strategy involved. Over sixty percent of professional women who leave work to raise children want to go back into the workforce someday. If you even think you might want to go back to work, be it in one year or twenty, you need to lay the groundwork now for a successful reentry or your options will be limited. If you do a little planning, you can reposition yourself professionally and have the choice to one day get back on the same career track, shift gears, accelerate, or change careers entirely. And, if youve already been out of the workplace for several years and never thought youd go back, youll learn about the best strategies and resources for jumping back in. Comeback Moms is a practical, commonsense approach to career planning for all mothers. Monica Samuels and J.C. Conklin examine every conceivable angle and obstacle to help you make the best decisions possible before leaving your job, during your time at home, and once you decide to return to work. They offer advice on how to keep one foot in the professional pool, when and if its best to go back to school, setting realistic expectations when re-entering an old career, helping your children adjust when you do go back, and on the logistics of rebalancing marital power when a spouse leaves or re-enters the work force. Its all here in an invaluable guide for every woman who wants it all

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Comeback
Moms
How to Leave Work,
Raise Children, and
Restart Your Career
Even If You Havent
Worked in Years
MORGAN ROAD BOOOKS
New York

Contents

This book is dedicated to our mothers June Leiter and Linda Hale Conklin - photo 1


This book is dedicated to our mothers, June Leiter and Linda Hale Conklin

Acknowledgments

Without these people and their patience and graciousness we wouldnt have a - photo 2

Without these people and their patience and graciousness, we wouldnt have a book: Helen Mobley, Dr. Dave Streicher, Suzanne Standerfer, Sara Fox, Dee Dee Benkie, Kelly McBrayer, Dr. JoAnn McMillan, Ann Howard, Anne Heiligenstein, Michael Mack, The Wednesday Morning Group, Robin Gilchrist, Sonia Medina, Craig Beskid, Judy Potter, Bill Miller, our agent, Kathleen Anderson, and the editors and staff at Morgan Books: Amy Hertz, Marc Haeringer, and Nate Brown.

Wed also like to thank our families: Marc, Jared, Chase, Larry Leiter, Lisa Morris, Dana Corbett, Stanley Farrer, Dr. Elizabete Santos, Dr. Jeremy Conklin, Dr. Richard Conklin, Dr. Jan Conklin, C. J. Hernandez, and Kimble Ross.

Introduction

ARE YOU TOAST Were undergoing a sea change in this countrymillions of women - photo 3

ARE YOU TOAST?

Were undergoing a sea change in this countrymillions of women are quitting their jobs to stay home and raise their children.

That would never be you, right? Thats what we thought and boy, were we wrong. Hear us out. Once you have a baby, your life changes in ways youd never imagine. We dont just mean hallucinating and talking to yourself after several months of sleep deprivation. You have no idea how much youll love that little baby. It makes you a little crazycrazy enough to leave a six-figure salary and paid vacations to stay home with said baby.

Before you storm into your bosss office and tell her she wont be seeing you around anymore, read this book. Theres more to quitting than saying the words. Theres strategy involved.

Think about it. Youre most likely cutting your household income in half, sending yourself on an extended time-out from adult contact, and putting your ego in a piata that some patronizing people will whack at will: How can you stand to be home with your children all day? So why did you even become a lawyer/doctor/teacher? Not to mention that in a few years youll probably want to go back to work and, without laying some groundwork now, your choices arent gonna be pretty later. Its not easy out there even when you dont take time off.

Trust us, Monica and the women we talked to for this book are doing what youre contemplating. We know what were talking about. True, we dont have all the answersbut we have a lot of experience and weve stockpiled stories of epic errors that we dont want you to make.

This book is for women who think they might have children someday, are bent over with morning sickness all day, have a little baby in day care, have another child on the way, or might have a child if their husband really, really wants one someday. In short, its for every woman of childbearing age, and their mothers too because, well, your mom can tell you what we left out.

The reality is we women compete in the workplace with men who, although they may be great fathers, arent mothersand theres a whole lot more work to do as a mother. Mothers typically are the ones managing child-care arrangements, staying home with sick children, and convulsing with guilt when they miss a soccer game. They are also, by large numberswere talking millionsthe parent who opts to stay home with the children. What this means is that women who take time off are competing with men who dont. Is that an equal playing field? Does changing diapers for two years spell career advancement?

If you take a couple years off to raise your children is your career toast?

One boss we talked to laughed when we asked him that question and said we should title the book Hopeless , because thats exactly what the woman wanting to get back into the workforce after time off will be.

Hes right. Let us modify that: hes right for some women. Those who give up easily, like at the first sign of failure, arent going to make it. Those who take no for an answer wont get farther than the first closed door. Those who dont plan for their future wont have more than the next day to look forward to.

If you do it right you can reposition yourself professionally, perhaps becoming something you never thought possible. You can get back on the same track, shift gears, accelerate, make sharp turns, or change careers entirely. You can start your own business.

The time you take off to spend with your kids and away from the jobsite could not only be the most gratifying personal decision you could make, it might also be the best professional move you could make, if you look at it a little farther downstream. Its all about the planning. This book is your time machine. You can fast forward and see your future through the eyes of those women who have been there and done that.

Let us show you how to strategize step by step how to leave the office so that youll be able to come back, or if youve been gone for a while, we can show you how to get back into a successful second career.

We know women who have done it. It is possible. You have to learn how to keep your hand in the game. Keeping your hand in can mean taking on all sorts of activities including volunteering to help the cultural exchange program at your sons school, becoming active in local politics, or becoming so frustrated at your childs artistic tendencies with mashed potatoes and carrots in restaurants that you create a device that will clean up his mess easier.

WHY WE WROTE THIS BOOK

Monicas Story

It happened as I was standing in front of the salad bar at the Radisson Hotel - photo 4
It happened as I was standing in front of the salad bar at the Radisson Hotel restaurant in Orlando, Florida. When the smell of slightly curdled bleu cheese dressing was making me sick, I knew I couldnt go back to work.I was two months pregnant for the second time and working on a presidential campaign. If my candidate won, Id win a brag-worthy job. It would be the culmination of all the hundreds of meetings I attended. And I couldnt do it.Up until that very moment, I appeared to be at the top of my game. Years earlier, amid a legal career and motherhood, my lifelong love of politics became more than a passing interest. The Young Republican National Federation elected me their national chairwoman. That event introduced me to a world of elected officials, party leaders, and political operatives. Among the latter group was Karl Rove, who kindly invited me to join the 2000 Bush presidential campaign as a paid staffer. While working on the campaign in the final weeks, I found myself in this hotel standing in front of rubbery hard-boiled eggs ready to retch.Weeks before, my husband and I received the news that I was pregnant. While in most circles this is joyous news, it is not the sort of thing that one shares around the watercooler with the rest of the political team who are all working 24/7 and eating cold pizza until (they hope) Election Day. Consequently, I kept the news to myself.So there I was in Orlando, where the Coalitions Team sent me three weeks before the election to try to organize and mobilize young voters, gripped by morning sickness (which in my case lasted all day) and thus barely able to mobilize myself, much less anyone else.Slowly, I lifted the plastic salad bar tongs and tried to select something that looked halfway edible to a woman whose hormones were in the spin cycle. As I picked through the olives, carrots, and sliced cucumbers, waves of nausea and lightheadedness flooded over me. Soon the only thing I could smell were leaves. Yuck. Leaves. No way could I eat leaves in this condition. I searched desperately for anything to keep me going. Finally, I spotted it. The answer to my prayerssaltine crackers. Carefully, I removed a bag of crackers from the basket and, feeling faint, slowly walked to my assigned table in the restaurant.Taking my seat, I opened the bag and bit into the first of two crackers. Sitting there, I slowly chewed the saltine like a centurion whose dentures were missing, contemplated my life, and reached a conclusion. Despite what I continually tried to tell myself, I really didnt have it all together.As I sat there it dawned on me, At this very moment, while Im dining alone and contemplating a trip later in the day to the nearest emergency room, our nanny is home with my four-year-old son, feeding and dressing him, hearing about his day, and comforting him at night when his newly acquired fear of the dark kicks in at bedtime. Despite my eagerness to conquer the world, it occurred to me that I really was failing at the one thing I regarded as the most important role I hadbeing my sons mom. With another child on the way, I realized that if I continued down my current path, I would risk simply trying to fit yet another person into my crowded and busy life rather than having a deep meaningful relationship with someone who should be of utmost importance to memy child. I made a decision. No matter what happens in this election, I thought, my next job will be full-time mom. Coming to this conclusion wasnt easy. Few people ever get the chance to work on a presidential campaign. For the staffers of a successful campaign, the victors move to residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue comes with exciting job opportunities for many of those hardy souls who toiled to get him there. Making this decision meant giving up a chance to move up the career ladder while doing something truly exciting that I loved. More important, though, it meant coming to grips with reality. I simply couldnt do everything well, so I finally needed to choose.As things were, if everything went perfectly, I could be at best a pretty good attorney and a pretty good mom. Since things are rarely ever perfect, achieving a rating of pretty good probably wasnt likely on either score. I really couldnt be great at either job. Between the two options, I concluded that motherhood meant more to me, and Im glad I did.
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