Monica Samuels - Comeback Moms: How to Leave Work, Raise Children, and Restart Your Career Even if You Havent Had a Job in Years  

Introduction

ARE YOU TOAST?

Were undergoing a sea change in this countrymillions of women are quitting their jobs to stay home and raise their children.

That would never be you, right? Thats what we thought and boy, were we wrong. Hear us out. Once you have a baby, your life changes in ways youd never imagine. We dont just mean hallucinating and talking to yourself after several months of sleep deprivation. You have no idea how much youll love that little baby. It makes you a little crazycrazy enough to leave a six-figure salary and paid vacations to stay home with said baby.

Before you storm into your bosss office and tell her she wont be seeing you around anymore, read this book. Theres more to quitting than saying the words. Theres strategy involved.

Think about it. Youre most likely cutting your household income in half, sending yourself on an extended time-out from adult contact, and putting your ego in a piata that some patronizing people will whack at will: How can you stand to be home with your children all day? So why did you even become a lawyer/doctor/teacher? Not to mention that in a few years youll probably want to go back to work and, without laying some groundwork now, your choices arent gonna be pretty later. Its not easy out there even when you dont take time off.

Trust us, Monica and the women we talked to for this book are doing what youre contemplating. We know what were talking about. True, we dont have all the answersbut we have a lot of experience and weve stockpiled stories of epic errors that we dont want you to make.

This book is for women who think they might have children someday, are bent over with morning sickness all day, have a little baby in day care, have another child on the way, or might have a child if their husband really, really wants one someday. In short, its for every woman of childbearing age, and their mothers too because, well, your mom can tell you what we left out.

The reality is we women compete in the workplace with men who, although they may be great fathers, arent mothersand theres a whole lot more work to do as a mother. Mothers typically are the ones managing child-care arrangements, staying home with sick children, and convulsing with guilt when they miss a soccer game. They are also, by large numberswere talking millionsthe parent who opts to stay home with the children. What this means is that women who take time off are competing with men who dont. Is that an equal playing field? Does changing diapers for two years spell career advancement?

If you take a couple years off to raise your children is your career toast?

One boss we talked to laughed when we asked him that question and said we should title the book Hopeless, because thats exactly what the woman wanting to get back into the workforce after time off will be.

Hes right. Let us modify that: hes right for some women. Those who give up easily, like at the first sign of failure, arent going to make it. Those who take no for an answer wont get farther than the first closed door. Those who dont plan for their future wont have more than the next day to look forward to.

If you do it right you can reposition yourself professionally, perhaps becoming something you never thought possible. You can get back on the same track, shift gears, accelerate, make sharp turns, or change careers entirely. You can start your own business.

The time you take off to spend with your kids and away from the jobsite could not only be the most gratifying personal decision you could make, it might also be the best professional move you could make, if you look at it a little farther downstream. Its all about the planning. This book is your time machine. You can fast forward and see your future through the eyes of those women who have been there and done that.

Let us show you how to strategize step by step how to leave the office so that youll be able to come back, or if youve been gone for a while, we can show you how to get back into a successful second career.

We know women who have done it. It is possible. You have to learn how to keep your hand in the game. Keeping your hand in can mean taking on all sorts of activities including volunteering to help the cultural exchange program at your sons school, becoming active in local politics, or becoming so frustrated at your childs artistic tendencies with mashed potatoes and carrots in restaurants that you create a device that will clean up his mess easier.

WHY WE WROTE THIS BOOK

Monicas Story

It happened as I was standing in front of the salad bar at the Radisson Hotel restaurant in Orlando, Florida. When the smell of slightly curdled bleu cheese dressing was making me sick, I knew I couldnt go back to work.

I was two months pregnant for the second time and working on a presidential campaign. If my candidate won, Id win a brag-worthy job. It would be the culmination of all the hundreds of meetings I attended. And I couldnt do it.

Up until that very moment, I appeared to be at the top of my game. Years earlier, amid a legal career and motherhood, my lifelong love of politics became more than a passing interest. The Young Republican National Federation elected me their national chairwoman. That event introduced me to a world of elected officials, party leaders, and political operatives. Among the latter group was Karl Rove, who kindly invited me to join the 2000 Bush presidential campaign as a paid staffer. While working on the campaign in the final weeks, I found myself in this hotel standing in front of rubbery hard-boiled eggs ready to retch.

Weeks before, my husband and I received the news that I was pregnant. While in most circles this is joyous news, it is not the sort of thing that one shares around the watercooler with the rest of the political team who are all working 24/7 and eating cold pizza until (they hope) Election Day. Consequently, I kept the news to myself.