Cheryl Casone - The Comeback: How Todays Moms Reenter the Workplace Successfully

FOREWORD

I was lucky to grow up with a mom who told me every night before she put me to bed that I could be anything I wanted to be. I believed her, knowing full well that achieving my goals would require a lot of hard work.

I had big dreams, and I achieved many of them. I was a child concert violinist, high school valedictorian, a student at Stanford, and winner of the Miss America pageant in 1989. I parlayed those experiences and discipline into twenty-five years in the television business: working my way up the ranks from cub reporter in Richmond, Virginia, to Cincinnati, Cleveland, Dallas, and finally to New York City and hosting my own show on Fox News.

Along the way, I remembered my moms wordsthat I could be anything I wanted to be, and as a child I didnt see any challenges to that truth. But as I grew older, I learned that the workplace can be cruel to women and that none of us will succeed if we dont say yes to our dreams, no to self-imposed guilt, and help each other.

I faced sexual harassment early on in my career, both as Miss America and in my television work. Stereotypes preceded me at every new job. Here comes the former Miss America bimbo, theyd say. After being fired from my anchor job in Cleveland, Ohio, one week after getting married, I was told Id be fine now that I had a husband. I had to work triply hard to dispel all negativity, always pushing myself forward to fulfill my dream of being the best reporter in the shop, and I know many women have to work harder than I did to overcome worse obstacles.

As if the world wasnt harsh enough, many of us women impose further burdens on ourselves. We try to have it all. Stay-at-home moms feel guilty for not having high-powered careers. Working moms feel guilty for leaving their children at home. Guilt seems to be an acceptable mode for mothers no matter what they do.

Its time for that to end. If youre a mom considering reentering the workplace, dont waste time on guilt. Instead, be clear in your own mind and heart about what kind of person you want to be and what kind of parent you want to be. The choice to return to your career is a very personal choice, and no one can tell you what you ought to do.

Whatever you choose, there will be trade-offs. I personally always knew I wanted to be a mom with a career, and I aspire to be an example to my children of a fulfilled human being. To be that example, I have to be realistic. Being a mom is my most important role, but its not my only role. So, even though Im a person who likes to give 100 percent to everything I do, I have learned that I can only give 100 percent to what Im doing in the moment. If Im at work, am I giving 100 percent to my kids? No. If Im at home, am I giving 100 percent to my work? No. But Im 100 percent wherever I am at the moment. Its a balancing act, but worthwhile as long as we dont kid ourselves that were superwomen.

Since we arent superwomen, we need help. Being a working mom is much easier with a supportive partner who understands your life goals, too, and shares the responsibilities for raising children. I let my future husband know I wanted to be a working mom from the beginning of our relationship, and Im glad I did. And lets face it. Even when women lay out the ground rules and hope for 50/50, it doesnt really ever happen that way very often. Still, its better to start that way and continue to work together as a team with the goal of both feeling fulfilled.

One of the most important lessons Ive learned from almost three decades in the business is that Ive decided that I choose to work outside the home more for my eleven-year-old son than for my thirteen-year-old daughter, because I believe we must continue to change the way menespecially younger menthink and feel about women in powerful roles. My hope is that by watching me, my son will have the same amount of respect and admiration for his eventual female colleagues as he currently has for his mom. If women are to make it over the hurdles currently placed before them in the workplace, we will need to raise a generation of men helping women.

Women must also help women. Ive been fortunate in my career to have had several strong female bosses who challenged me to step into roles I wasnt just quite ready for yet and inspired me to be the best I could be. Ive also had women who deliberately tried to take me down just because. After I was crowned Miss America, a well-known television reporter in New York tried to make a mockery of my accomplishment by asking me a series of questions so inappropriate (Have you ever done drugs? And Have you ever had sex?) that the entire press corps actually booed her. The vast differences in the experiences Ive had is why Ive made it one of my life missions to make sure I give back, always conscious of empowering other women along the way.

Cheryl Casone is one of the strong professional women who empower others, and she has written The Comeback to join in that effort to help other women reach their goalsand feed their families. As a fellow journalist, I can say that Cheryls vision and methodology have produced an excellent book. As a working mom, I can say that the book is not only excellent, but indispensable, a must-read for all the brave mothers looking to make a comeback.

Making a comeback takes courage, as I learned from my own mother who after encouraging me to follow my dreams was able to follow her own. For forty years she dedicated her life to raising her children, but in the last ten years shes been the CEO of our family car dealership business. During that time, it almost all went away. My parents were stripped of a dealership that had been in our family for almost one hundred years when General Motors and the government shuttered dealerships all across the country. Turns out, there wasnt any real reason for my parents to lose their livelihood. Main Motor Sales in Anoka, Minnesota, was still a profitable business and one of the top sellers of trucks in the entire state. My mom decided she was not going to allow a privately owned company to be taken away without a fight. She lobbied every member of Congress in our state and even went to Capitol Hill to make her voice heard, and guess what? She got the business back.