Laramie Briscoe [Briscoe - Christine (Heaven Hill Shorts Book 2)

It is recommended that you read Heaven Hill Generations before starting this series, or you will be spoiled and lost!

Christine Steele

I stood by as my husband become a person I didnt recognize any longer. I watched as he betrayed his club.

Now Im trying to figure out how to move on, how to live my life, still love myself, and allow my family to love me.

Ive been broken before, but this time Im not sure anyone can put those pieces back together.

The gazes follow me as I walk into the clubhouse. If I ever ask, everyone tells me they arent, but I can feel them. They're laced with both judgment and compassion. I hear a 'bless her heart' every single time people think I'm not listening, but I can hear it just the same. I do my best not to make eye contact with anyone, especially Drew. Drew - fuck I could have saved him a lot of heartache if I had just come forward with my suspicions. I ask myself every day why I didn't. Why I chose to believe a husband who had turned his back on his family, and why I kept holding out for love. Love didn't hold out for me, and I'm pretty damn sure it never will.

The next person I see is Caelin - another person I don't want to talk to - not because he killed my husband, but because he had to. He's avoided me just like I've avoided him. Neither one of us are ready to face the reality of the situation, and I'm not sure when we'll ever be. Finally, I see someone not connected. Layne, my saving grace today. Making myself as small as I can, I walk over to him. It kills me how small my voice is.

"Is Jagger here?"

He looks up from his phone, and I appreciate the fact he doesn't have sympathy in his eyes. I can't take it, today of all days. I'm too emotionally vulnerable and pissed off, to be honest.

"Yeah, he's in the back grilling some steaks for the cookout later."

"Thank you."

It doesn't escape my attention that I've started to only say the words I absolutely have to. I don't expand on my feelings, or my intentions, ever. I'm almost afraid someone will find fault with it, so in the ten months since Travis was killed, I've become my own brand of mute. My head is held high as I walk to the sliding glass door that leads out to the huge backyard area the club has. It's expanded since my first days here. There are more children, a few more members, and so many happy couples.

I always wanted kids, but it never happened. More than anything I think its damage from what happened to me earlier in life. At this point I'm glad Travis and I didn't have them. How do you explain to a child that a parent is a monster, even if they didn't start out that way? Justice and Harley are over in one of the corners, talking with Carter. There's a smile on her face, and it lifts the weight on my chest slightly.

Spotting Jagger, I make a beeline for him. "Hey."

He turns with a genuine smile on his face. He's always got one for me. If I ever had to name the best brother in the world, it's him. Quickly he puts his tongs down, enveloping me in a hug meant to break my ribs. I endure it though, because this is some of the only human interaction and touch I'm given these days. Part of it is my fault, the other part is Travis'. No doubt about it, I've shut myself off since the events of ten months ago. I haven't attended many functions, haven't returned the texts or the phone calls, not because I haven't wanted to, but because I feel really damn guilty.

Anyone would in my situation.

"Hey Sis, what are you doing here?"

It's a fair question, but it still hurts. It's my damage that hears accusation instead of surprise.

"I came to talk to you about something," I start, pushing my hair back out of my face.

"I can get someone to watch this and we can go to my dorm if you want."

More than anything that's what I want. Enough of my embarrassment has been played out for people to see. I don't want anymore, don't know that I can stand anymore. "Please," the word is on this side of a plea.

Turning my eyes back to the ground, I wait as he calls Wild over, asking him to watch the food while he talks with me. Again, I feel the eyes on me, wish for them to go the fuck away, but know in my heart it's human nature to stare. Fuck human nature though, I just want my quiet life back, want to live it and not have to worry about my livelihood being taken from me. Jagger motions for me to follow him as we walk back into the clubhouse and down the long hallway leading to the dorms. He's had the same one since I've been here, and as we walk in, I feel like I'm coming home. This feels more like home than my own house does these days.