PRAISE FOR TO HELL WITH THE HUSTLE
My friend Jefferson Bethke is brilliant and he is modeling in his life and family what he is writing in these pages and it is working. It is inspiring and convicting to watch someone flourish as they let go when culture hangs on and rest when culture says to run. To live like Jesus, to work and rest like Jesus, is the desire of so many hearts (mine included), and Jeff is leading us toward that life.
Annie F. Downs, bestselling author of 100 Days to Brave and host of the That Sounds Fun podcast
Ever feel like you need to work harder, put in more time to get ahead, or do everything in your power to be the best? Thats the hustle. It can push you to places you dont want to go, and Ive gone there more than I care to admit. In his latest book, To Hell with the Hustle , Jefferson Bethke will help you understand why the hustle can seem so alluring, show you how to avoid the traps its created in our culture, and find true joy chasing after Christ instead.
Craig Groeschel, pastor of Life. Church and New York Times bestselling author
If anyone can speak to the topic of removing hustle from our vocabulary, it would be Jefferson. Ive watched him practice what he preaches on this, so the words in this book do not come without testing. This book will challenge you to live a life that relies on God.
Jennie Allen, author of Nothing to Prove , founder and visionary of IF:Gathering
To Hell with the Hustle is just the prescription we need in our hustle culture. Everybody is hustling, but what are we really accomplishing? What toll is the hustle having on our souls? Read this book. Jeff will teach you the better way to find the life you are looking for.
Dr. Derwin L. Gray, author of Limitless Life: You Are More than Your Past When God Holds Your Futur e
2019 Jefferson Bethke
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ISBN 978-0-7180-3921-9 (eBook)
ISBN 978-0-7180-3920-2 (TP)
Epub Edition August 2019 9780718039219
Library of Congress Control Number:2019947270
Printed in the United States of America
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To Lucy, Kannon, and Kinsley
I pray the way of Jesus continues to become your highest
pursuit and ultimate treasure as you grow day by day.
Love, Dad
CONTENTS
We were both on the couch. She was crying. Then I heard, You shouldve married someone else!
I stood and started pacing. Are you serious right now?! Its a question that has never helped a single marital situation since the dawn of humanity.
Its a tough thing to hear your wife say she wishes you had married someone else. Its even tougher when, for a second, you think she might be right.
We wouldnt be in this situation if I had.
But I didnt want to marry anyone else. I believe Alyssa is Gods gift and a physical representation of grace to me. In that moment, though, it sure felt like life would have been easier if I had married someone a little bit more like me. Why did she have to be so different? Nonetheless, here we were, married for four years, with a two-year-old and an infant sleeping in the other room, feeling like our lives were burdening us and weighing us down.
Over and over again, wed been facing the same issue. When it came to making decisions about work and future commitments, wed clash. This was exacerbated by both of us being depleted and overwhelmed most of the time. Parenting toddlers, being self-employed, and still needing to feed ourselves three times a day were more than enough to keep track of without a deep, recurring marital conflict thrown into the mix. Here was the crux of it: when Im overwhelmed, burned out, and tired, my default position is lets go, while Alyssas is lets stop. At those times, I dont tend to give anything thoughtful consideration because Im running on empty. Im too exhausted for decision-making so I just say yes. Alyssa is the opposite. When she is burning out she gets anxious, and to avoid feeling crushed or overwhelmed she automatically says no to any new demands. So for the first few years of our marriage, I felt like she was holding me back, and she felt like I was bulldozing her with all my ideas and dreams and my fast pace. I felt confused because I thought we were doing everything we were supposed to be doing. We got married, had kids, got jobs, and worked hardall the seemingly appropriate cultural milestones done at the culturally appropriate times (married at twenty-three, had kids at twenty-five, had jobs that were meaningful and enjoyable by twenty-two, and were homeowners by twenty-five). We went to church every week. We read our Bibles and prayed. We were doing all the right things, but we sure didnt feel like we were. Instead of experiencing fulfillment and happiness, we were tired, wired, anxious, and on edge.
Why did it feel like what we thought we were supposed to be doing was the very thing causing this disillusionment?
It was as if we were trying to build a life on the moon. If youve seen that famous video of Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, you know that when you are on the moon, youre ungrounded. Theres no gravity holding you down. You kind of just float aroundand the danger is, if you arent tethered to anything, youll float off into space indefinitely.
We as humans arent meant to float off into space. We are meant to live with our feet on the ground, so to speak. To be attached and connected to something that can anchor us in the dirt.
