Jefferson Bethke - Take Back Your Family: From the Tyrants of Burnout, Busyness, Individualism, and the Nuclear Ideal

Team Bethke (Alyssa, Kinsley, Kannon, and Lucy)

Its the greatest joy of my life to be on mission with you.

Take Back Your Family

2021 Jefferson Bethke

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ISBN 978-1-4002-2179-0 (audiobook)

ISBN 978-1-4002-2178-3 (eBook)

ISBN 978-1-4002-3001-3 (IE)

ISBN 978-1-4002-2176-9 (HC)

Epub Edition July 2021 9781400221783

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Bethke, Jefferson, author.

Title: Take back your family : from the tyrants of burnout, chaos, individualism, and the nuclear ideal / Jefferson Bethke.

Description: Nashville, Tennessee : Nelson Books, [2021] | Includes bibliographical references. | Summary: Jefferson Bethke delivers a powerful critique of the nuclear family ideal and calls for a sweeping new paradigm that brings not only longed-for stability but also radical blessings to the world-- Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021007008 (print) | LCCN 2021007009 (ebook) | ISBN 9781400221769 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781400221783 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Families--Religious aspects--Christianity. | Families--Religious life. | Families.

Classification: LCC BT707.7 .B48 2021 (print) | LCC BT707.7 (ebook) | DDC 248.4--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021007008

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021007009

Printed in the United States of America

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Please note that the endnotes in this ebook may contain hyperlinks to external websites as part of bibliographic citations. These hyperlinks have not been activated by the publisher, who cannot verify the accuracy of these links beyond the date of publication

Contents

Praise for Take Back Your Family

Jefferson Bethke and his wife, Alyssa, are the real deal. They practice what they preach. As some of the most intentional parents we know, theyve found a proven path for the rest of us to follow. If you care about your family, youve got to read this book. From the first paragraph youll be hooked. Jeffs writing is vulnerable, fresh, passionate, thoughtful, and practical. Dont miss out on this powerful and provocative message. Your family will thank you.

DRS. LES AND LESLIE PARROTT, #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHORS, SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE IT STARTS

There is no one better to help our families rediscover a new way of living than Jefferson. I have watched him and Alyssa take back their family firsthand and its altogether a more peaceful, deeply meaningful way to live. Gods vision for our families is for our thriving!

JENNIE ALLEN, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR, GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD; FOUNDER, IF:GATHERING

This is the stuff. The Bethkes have spent years honing a vision for a flourishing, Jesus-following family in the modern era, complete with iPhones, remote work, dual incomes, all things soccer, etc. Many well-intentioned families are spiraling out of control into busyness and overactivity, fragmenting into radical individualism, and failing to pass on the most important thing of all: a legacy of discipleship. This book is a road map for the weary family soul. It looks back to lovingly point out where we got off track and looks forward to a better future. Like many, I believe the future is ancient, the way forward is backward, and Take Back Your Family drills into an ancient and deep well of wisdom and life.

JOHN MARK COMER, AUTHOR, LIVE NO LIES; FOUNDER, PRACTICING THE WAY

As someone who was an avid fan of the Goosebumps choose-your-own-adventure-style books, I want to give you permission to do the same with this one. There are plenty of family and parenting books in the publishing space, but there arent a ton that ask the really big questions or peel back the curtain on a multi-century project while also offering a fresh yet ancient paradigm. So Im offering a brief road map and a few notes to hopefully make this book and your reading experience more enjoyable.

First, Ill cut to the chase. Here is the premise of this book: The drowning, chaos, and burnout that your familyand so many othersis feeling right now have been building for a long time. The Western, hyper-individualistic (and consumer-based) view of family has been eating away at all of us. But rethinking the meaning of family, specifically thinking of it in terms of a team, with all the group identity dynamics that come with that, is how God intended for us to function. Thats not to say the individual or the team compete with each otherI believe they are symbiotic, like the DNA double helix. But the team aspect of family has been a missing nutrient for decades, and our families are now starved because of it.

Intriguing? I hope so. This team idea is what this book is all about.

The first five chapters pretty much show how we got here. They are a deep dive into the impact of the Industrial Revolution on families and the myth and history of the nuclear family ideal. Then are the practical ones, explaining what we can do now to implement the idea of family as a team. Throughout the book youll also find a few Family Spotlights that highlight family teams who are successful in their own ways. They all offer a little insight into how their family works and some encouragement, because once youve been captured by the team idea, it still can look a million different ways for a million different familiesand thats the fun and creative part! (Note: though I changed some of the names and details in these spotlights, the spirit of the stories remains the same.) So if you want to bounce around or skip ahead a little, this is your permission to do so, though I do think the end will be best understood by grasping the big ideas in the beginning.

Ill conclude by saying that this book couldnt begin to cover all there is to say about family or about Gods design for it. In some places, I might have asked more questions than Ive offered answers, but the hope is that youll be captured by a new vision and realize a better way lies beyond the status quo.