Colton Underwood - Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV

Some of the names in this book have been changed. Even in anonymity, they are remembered with appreciation and affection.

Gallery Books

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Copyright 2020 by Colton Underwood

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First Gallery Books hardcover edition March 2020

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Interior design by Erika Genova

Jacket design by John Vairo Jr.

Jacket photographs by Koury Angelo

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Underwood, Colton, author.

Title: The first time : finding myself and looking for love on reality TV / Colton Underwood.

Description: First Gallery Books hardcover edition 2020 | New York : Gallery Books, 2020.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019054436 (print) | LCCN 2019054437 (ebook) | ISBN 9781982139384 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781982139391 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781982139407 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Underwood, Colton. | Television personalities--United States--Biography. | Bachelor (Television program)

Classification: LCC PN1992.4.U56 A3 2020 (print) | LCC PN1992.4.U56 (ebook) | DDC 791.4502/8092 [B]--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019054436

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019054437

ISBN 978-1-9821-3938-4

ISBN 978-1-9821-3940-7 (ebook)

For my family and friends; my girlfriend and her family and friends; and Bachelor Nation! When you asked, I said yes!

Love you all and thank you.

Whatever you do, dont pick a girl from Southern California.

A friend

but I dont know.

Cassie Randolph

I fell in love on TV in front of millions of people. It is not something I planned or expected to happen. Love is not something you can plan. I see you nodding in agreement. I suspect were like-minded in this regard. You believe in the magic of love, as I do, whether youre reading a romance or living one. With this book, I have written the romance I am currently living and loving, and Im hoping it becomes my happily ever after. I am thrilled where I am now, but its complicated. I still have a lot to learn and discover and a lifetime ahead of me. I would like people to realize, as I have, that its okay not to have yourself all figured out. Its okay not to have all the answers. Its okay to ask, Who am I? What do I want? Its okay to laugh and cry and step boldly into the unknown and occasionally jump over a fence. Its okay to share your heart and show your vulnerability. This is the only way I know to live and to love.

O n The Bachelor, I didnt have as much time to get to know someone as I might have wanted or thought I was going to get. In that sense, the show was like real life. Moments came and went in the blink of an eye. I promise you that wont happen here. To get us started, here are ten basic but essential facts about me.

1. I prefer texts over email, but its best just to call me. You can spend all day texting what you can accomplish in a five-minute call.
2. Im into country music now. But growing up I was Team *NSYNC over Team Backstreet Boys.
3. Brussels sprouts are my favorite food. I wonder what that says about me. A little weird, I suppose. Sushi is a close second.
4. Sangria is my favorite drink. If its not on the menu, Ill have a glass of white wine.
5. I dont wash my blue jeans. Denim shrinks, and a good pair of blue jeans should be worshipped, not washed.
6. I wear shorts to bed if Im sleeping with my dog. I dont wear anything if Im alone.
7. I am a neat freak. Cass says Im the messiest neat person shes ever met.
8. I prefer baths over showers. But I always shower before taking a bath.
9. Of the one thousand plus photos on my Instagram, my favorite is the picture of me and Cass right after The Bachelor finale. I could finally show everybody that I was with this incredible person who filled my heart with happiness.
10. Am I still a virgin? Thats a big part of this book, so youre going to have to keep reading to learn the rest of the story. And no skipping ahead. If you do, youll miss the next chapter, whichspoiler alertreveals something heretofore known only to Cass and me.

I was standing on the dock, the turquoise water behind me, and my eyes were glued to the spot where Cassie would be arriving. I was eager to see her. I knew she would look great, all cute and sexy. I imagined staring into her eyes and seeing her smile up close and touching her soft, warm skin. I was still trying to figure out my life, but this much I knew for sure: being with Cassie made me happy.

It was week five of The Bachelor. We were newly arrived in Thailand after a week in Singapore, and I was waiting for my first one-on-one date with Cassie Randolph, a twenty-three-year-old blond from Huntington Beach, California. She had occupied my thoughts for days. Intrigued. Smitten. A little obsessed. Maybe more than a little. Call it what you want. I knew I was supposed to be open-minded, but Cassie was the girl I wanted to spend time with more than any of the others, and when producers informed me to get ready for a one-on-one with her, my smile expressed a well of pent-up excitement that literally rose from my toes all the way to the top of my head and exploded from me in a single word: Finally!

I was sure they already sensed my interest in her. Same with Cass. The two of us felt the initial blush of attraction when we first said hello, and since then Id managed to sneak in several conversations with Cass that confirmed the fact. The producers picked up on the vibe but moved slowly and cautiously. They knew that Cass was reserved and careful about opening up emotionally, and they wanted her to get more comfortable with me before we were on our first one-on-one date.

They were right.

Everything about this date was perfectexcept the weather.

We were supposed to go snorkeling. I couldnt have picked a better activity for a first date. I love the water. I grew up snorkeling and scuba diving with my family. I was skilled and confident in my ability. Since Cassie lived in a beach community and her little brother was a serious surfer, I figured she enjoyed water sports, too. As a bonus, both of us would be in swimsuits. The date was going to be funreally fun.

The anticipation made me impatient as I watched the crew load the dive boat and block their camera positions. Im not good at waiting around for something to happen, good or bad. Stray dogs milled around the dock. They were everywhere in Thailand. A couple of them sniffed at my feet, trying to make friends, hoping I had food. I resisted the urge to pet them. I didnt want to get stray-dog scent on me before the date.