Gail Vaz-Oxlade and Victoria Ryce - CEO of Everything

To my darling friends who got me through the tough spots and kept reminding me how much I was loved even when I felt lower than the belly of a snake. Even if you dont show up by name, know that I love you like fire.

And to all the suddenly singles who kept asking for a book of their own, this ones for you.G

To the dear ones in my life. Every act of kindness, be it a phone call or a cup of tea, was recorded in my heart. Thank you for all your generosity.

And to all the brave and inspiring CEOsif no one has told you lately, youre doing a great job!V

CONTENTS

We have been friends for years. Years and years and years. Between us we have experienced divorce and widowhood, and we have had to deal with the resulting single that attends when life doesnt work out just as we imagined. We both also have friends who have never remarried, never cohabited, never felt the need to join up. And when we get together and talk about being single, not a one of us moans or groans.

Yes, sometimes we miss having someone to share a morning cuppa. And sometimes we feel a little lonely. But when we put our singleness into perspectivewhen we see it in the context of all we gained or lostsingleness doesnt come up as short as many people might think. Well, not the way we do it!

If you find yourself single, what we say is CONGRATULATIONS! You got a promotion. You are now CEO of Everything. Feel ready for this new position? Dont worry if you want to shout, NO! Most people dont.

We got to be the CEOs of Everything having taken completely different paths. Victorias husband, Michael, died over a decade ago. And Gail, well, Gail is the eternal optimist: shes been married (and now divorced) three times! So we know of what we speak.

Your path may be different from ours. But whether you decided to leave your partner, survived your partners death, or discovered your partner had a different life plan, one that did not include you, now that youre here, you have to take control so you can make the most of the rest of your life.

In the corporate world, mentorship is one of the best ways those in the know pass on their knowledge. We want to mentor you to help smooth out some of the rough-and-tumble places on this road to a new life.

We know you can do it. You are smart enough to become a savvy CEO.

Now its time to focus on the joy of singleness. While later you may decide to embrace the joy of partnering again, for now youre single and completely in charge of what comes next.

Being successfully single means not waiting for an event to trigger your joy in living. Being successfully single means not suspending your life while you wait for another to fulfill you. Being successfully single means accepting that you are the master of your todays and your tomorrows, regardless of your yesterdays.

CEOs dont expect miracles. CEOs know that change can be painful but that they can create the change they want to see in their lives. CEOs make things happen. They move towards their best life. And even as they do, they know that Perfection is the enemy of The Perfectly Good.

Sure there will be trial and error. Thats normal since there are no perfect solutions, and each error provides you with information to let you make course adjustments. Have you ever met anyone who hasnt made mistakes? So dont be too hard on yourself. As long as youre moving forward, youre headed in the right direction.

Weve had to counsel a lot of folks about picking up the reins of their lives and truly embracing the fact that they are in charge. In charge of everything. Every frickin thing.

If you have become suddenly single, you may be in shock. Death can do that to you. So can a divorce that seems to have come out of nowhere (even though you may have been miserable for years). No one should expect you to be your old self. You may never be your old self again.

As CEO, when there is something that needs to be done financially, you are the decision-maker. When the car breaks down, youll have to get it fixed. Most social life happens when you make it happen. Everything in the house is now your job: when the smoke alarm starts beeping, when the water stops flowing, when the microwave blows up, you must act. Grass will grow and you will cut it.