Chessie King - Be Your Own Best Friend: The Glorious Truths of Being Female

HarperCollinsPublishers

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First published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2020

FIRST EDITION

Text Chessie King 2020

Cover layout design HarperCollinsPublishers 2020

Photography Ruth Rose 2020

With the following exceptions: courtesy of the author

Illustrations Saskia Robertson (Sassrobcreative.com) 2020

With the following exceptions:

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

Chessie King asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

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Source ISBN: 9780008377397

Ebook Edition May 2020 ISBN: 9780008377403

Version 2020-05-13

This is for my Scrumma-mumma-doo-dah

This is for my Bront Bee

This is for my best friends

This is for YOU, yes, you

CONTENTS

GIRLS. WOMEN. LADIES. ANGELS. GODDESSES. SISTERS. NON-BINARY READERS. (And to the guys who have bought this book, I see you I know you want to see what its all about.)

This book is all about the glorious, delightfully complex truths of Femalehood and becoming your own best friend. Were going to discover your true worth, big up your self-appreciation, find your inner cheerleader and celebrate you zooming in, zooming out, while shaking it all about.

I believe there are four layers that make up you, me and the book youre holding.

• Our insides: hormones, emotions, feelings and our juicy bits.
• Our bods: boobies, body hair, periods, contraception, sex and all the things we didnt get taught at school.
• Our solar support system: your community the spine to your life your family, the people you work with and your friends, your tribe, because there aint no hood like sisterhood.
• Our outer orbit: social media bollocks, peoples views on what women should be and connecting with strangers.

Every single one of us is navigating our way through life and sometimes, in this huge, gigantic world, you can feel like youre doing it on. your. own. Its a jungle out there, but I hope, while you read through, youll be nodding your head like Yes, uh-huh, this is totally me oh holy mother of Dorothy, I thought I was the only one. Phew. WOW. Okay, so if Chessies been through this too, Ive totally got it.

I invite you to take a comfy seat in my brain, my world. Ive poured love, honesty and memories into this baby. Ive cried into my laptop, laughed at the stories Ive unearthed in my history bank, and braved sharing unspoken pieces of my past. And heavens to Betsy, I have absolutely adored this whole never-written-a-book-before-what-am-I-doing thang!

My scrumma-mumma-doo-dah fired me out into the world on 23 June 1993, so I know Ive not yet experienced all the bonkers things life can throw at us women. But I want to be dancing around in my underwear until Im 100 so Im not even a third of my way through the game. Im absolutely no expert, nor am I trying to fix you. But I believe I dont need a PhD or a degree to want to help you or to share my life, my stories and my advice with you. I can promise you, this book is so much more than me telling you to sleep more, eat your veg and step up your step game Were going to take back the power, were going to turn surviving into thriving, were going to become the CEOs of our busy brains.

Were all unique, were all multi-dimensional, were all phenomenal however, the majority of us just dont believe in ourselves. Whether you feel like youve lost confidence, never found it or youre going through a shift, Im here with you. In Blue Peter-style, heres one I made earlier: Ive tried and tested the infinite list; exploring, discovering and unpeeling the layers of myself over the years. So, I thought it was about time I got it all down on paper 240 pages worth of paper.

I like to think of us all as scrummy, spongy cakes. We all started out the same, cooking in the womb. Then over the years, weve added in different ingredients, soaked up different experiences, to make us all even more delicious and unique But weve been decorated with heavy toppings like self-doubt, comparison, heartache, trauma, grief theyre all baked into our lives and they could be weighing us down.

When youre ready, well work through your recipe and eat cake together. Well strengthen your relationship with your bod, your brain, with all of the incredible humans that make up your tribe, and with women from all around the world.

If I could describe my Instagram in one word it would be honest. But unlike social media, this book has been a real safe space for me to take that to the next level. To help you, to share everything with you, uncensored. Helping, guiding, nurturing and supporting people is something I feel I was born to do. Its written in my DNA, embedded in me from my mumma, my mums mumma (my nana), her mumma all my female ancestors have exuded love. Im a big sister in real life (anyone whos the oldest will know what it feels like to be the trial run, the guinea pig) to Bront and Henry, and I have always wanted to protect anyone younger than me. Ive watched them both grow up from teeny tiny beans in our mummas tummy, making their way through life, growing into their own individual personalities. I dont ever tell them what to do; I just guide sharing with them my mistakes and what Ive learnt. I celebrate their differences, encourage them to do anything they want and absolutely adore them.

This book is for you. Think of it as having a book-sized me with you at all times. Im here with you on every single page. I want this book to be a constant reminder that you are abso-bloody-lutely extraordinary, so keep it close to you: in your handbag, on your bedside table, on your desk at work or under your pillow. Pick it up when you need a boost, and know that you can always come back to it in this wild, wild world.

There is absolutely no judgement here from the pages, the words, the book or me. I want you to feel like Im reading every word out to you in real life (which, if youre listening to the audio book, I am!). I love scribbling, getting things down on paper, so Ive added interactive parts to help you discover new ways to express how youre feeling so if