Gerschel Antoine - Perfect Phrases for Conflict Resolution

Hundreds of Ready-to-Use Phrases for Encouraging a More Productive and Efficient Work Environment

Lawrence Polsky and Antoine Gerschel

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ISBN: 978-0-07-176042-3
MHID: 0-07-176042-3

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Anne Bruce, your continued support and enthusiasm for our work is an inspiration. Your energy and bigheartedness continually amaze us. We are so grateful to have you as our guide, mentor, coach, friend, sister, and head cheerleader! This book would not exist without your support.

Thank you, Brian Foster, Mary Therese Church, and Lisa Stracks for your continued trust in our writing, for giving us just the right amount of direction to keep us on track, and for your editing. We have truly been in good hands! It has been a privilege to work with you and your team once again.

To our customers, thank you for so generously inviting us into your world! We learn daily from you and your organizational challenges. These experiences are the foundation of everything we do professionally and of many of the insights we share in this book.

Mark Kaplan, thank you for your continued insights into handling the most touchy of conflicts, particularly when long-held biases and discrimination are at play.

Thank you, Robin Famiglietti, Jim Higgins, Abha Mehta, Mediators without Borders, Mike Michalewicz, Barry Nobel, and Shelly Bernstein, for the stories, questions, and examples that have encouraged us along the way.

To Teresa, Gretta, Zach, family, and friends, who are patient with me when I dont have the patience or skill to practice what we preach. Thank you for your generosity of spirit. Your love and support enable me to become a better person A special thank-you to Wilson Tilleymentor, coach, and friendwho taught me the power of being open and honest in relationships. Everything I know about conflict resolution is rooted in your teaching. Your example proves irreplaceable to this day, both inside and outside of the workplace. Also to Bob Schachat, Nancy McManus, Steve Kleitzel, Lulinda Lloyd, Susan Mann, and all the others who frequented The Institute for Human Development in beautiful Charlemont. Without you, I could not have learned firsthand the ins and outs of bridging differences.

Lawrence

To Nomie, thank you for your partnership, your inspiration, and your patience. To Misha, Ron, and Giulia, I wish this book becomes a way for you to look at conflicts as an opportunity to grow personally and within the relationships you have. And, since you know me better than most readers, Do what I say you should do, not what I do!

Antoine

There are two types of conflicts, particularly during any kind of change. The first well call direct conflict. This is when it is clear there is a difference of opinion, including:

Your perception of the situation is at odds with another persons.

Your point of view is at odds with someone elses.

Your needs are at odds with another partys.

The second type of conflict involves situations where bad feelings develop over time and create a barrier to relationships and productivity. We call this latent conflict. This kind of conflict can result from a number of causes, such as one person not handling the initial situation well right away, a lack of skills on the part of one or more people in addressing the situation, or even the difficult personality of one or more people involved.

At some point, everyone avoids conflicts at work, for reasons both good and bad. Think of a conflict you are currently avoiding. Perhaps the conflict has been lingering for a while, or maybe you think you can continue to do your work without resolving it. Whatever the case, something about this particular conflict is making you avoid getting it resolved. Some possible causes for avoiding resolution are that the conflict is: