Baker Allie Kingsley - Now accepting roses: finding myself while searching for the one and other lessons I learned from the Bachelor

Table of Contents

Praise for Now Accepting Roses

Im grateful to have had Bachelor Nation connect me and Amanda. Shes been a great friend over the years. Our conversations are nothing different from this bookhonest, sometimes embarrassing, and overall uplifting. A really fun read!

Nick Viall, former star of The Bachelor and founder of Natural Habits Essential Oils

A lot of people have seen me (and many of us in Bachelor Nation) make mistakes when it comes to dating and finding love, so reading Amandas book and knowing that she braved through certain storms and takes accountability for mistakes is definitely inspiring. I can see why Amanda and I became and stayed friends. Shes honest, forgiving, funny, and genuine, and Im proud to support her through and through.

Dean Unglert, former star of Bachelor in Paradise and contestant on The Bachelorette

Reading this book from Amandas perspective after being on a season together is heartwarming, memorable, and genuinely honest. Im grateful that weve remained friends throughout the years and that weve been able to share crazy stories when it comes to trying to find love. This book gave me a fresh perspective on what women go through when dating and is nothing but encouraging, empowering, and uplifting.

Ben Higgins, former star of The Bachelor and founder of Generous Coffee

I was with Amanda on both The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise, and its been really amazing seeing her grow as a person the past few years. Vulnerable, relatable, genuine, and hilariousthis book represents Amanda so well. Balancing motherhood with her relationships and career?! I dont know how she does it, but this book gives us a glimpse. A must-read!

Jen Saviano, former contestant on The Bachelor and blogger at MissLifestyler.com

There was something sweet and nurturing that drew me to Amanda when I first met her in the Bachelor House! A few hours after meeting her is when I found out that she was a mom, which was a key indicator of why I was drawn to her and her selflessness. Amanda is really sweet, caring, and a very good listener. She used to make Haley (my twin) and me mac n cheese at the Bachelor Mansion. Shes a great friend and I feel lucky to personally know the real her. This book is a glimpse of all the things I just listed and is like having her sound advice in travel form. So excited for readers to get their hands on this!

Emily Ferguson, former contestant on The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise

There was no question about the connection Amanda and I had when we first met each other at the Bachelor Mansion. If theres one thing that Im so grateful for after doing The Bachelor, its that this friendship came into fruition. Amanda is one of my best friends, and I am so proud of her for getting her story out. Through all shes endured, this is the real her that many of us have come to love and adore.

Lauren Bushnell, former contestant on The Bachelor

This is a work of nonfiction. The events and experiences detailed herein are all true and have been faithfully rendered as remembered by the author, to the best of her ability.

Copyright 2019 by Amanda Stanton

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All photos are courtesy of the authors personal collection unless otherwise noted.

BenBella Books, Inc.

10440 N. Central Expressway, Suite 800

Dallas, TX 75231

www.benbellabooks.com

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First E-Book Edition: September 2019

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Control Number: 2019010180

ISBN 9781948836395

eISBN 9781948836647

Copyediting by Elizabeth Degenhard

Proofreading by Jenny Bridges and Lisa Story

Text design by Publishers Design & Production Services, Inc.

Text composition by PerfecType, Nashville, TN

Cover design by Sarah Avinger

Cover photography by Cory Tran

Printed by Lake Book Manufacturing

Distributed to the trade by Two Rivers Distribution, an Ingram brand

www.tworiversdistribution.com

The world cant run without girls, so this book is

dedicated to every single woman Ive had the utmost

pleasure of meeting, befriending, and DMing.

Contents

S OMETIMES I WONDER what my life might have looked like if Id been given a crystal ball or some other way of knowing what lay ahead. Although I have no regrets, there are things Id probably do differently had I known then what I know now. If I could reach out to my much younger self, this is what Id tell her:

Dear Amanda,

Take a good look around and be super appreciative of what you have at home. Mom and Dad have created the perfect example of how family life should be. Youll think you want something exciting and fleeting, but youll later learn boring isnt such a bad thing after all.

Dating as a teenager is supposed to be fun, so try not to take anything too seriously! Be open-minded about dating guys who arent in your circle of friends. Just because the cute jock makes all the girls swoon in your favorite movies doesnt mean the same has to apply to you in real life. Being with the coolest guy in school isnt really all that cool. In fact, the so-called cool guys that didnt want to date you in high school will be bombarding you with DMs later on and youll laugh because, no thanks. Youll probably run into someone later in life and think, Why didnt I date him in high school? It will be because you didnt pay him any attention back then since he wasnt your type. The truth is, you will find yourself looking for guys you think are your type but you wont even know what that is until youre much older. For now, let your type be someone who is kind, honest, respectful, and who makes you laugh.

Youll be so excited to get married that you rush into it with someone who isnt right for you. Its going to be okay. Youll follow your instincts and do what is best for you. Stay strong and weather the storm. Brighter days are ahead!

Its just as important to know what you dont want as it is to know what you do want. You dont want someone who will always choose going to a party over spending time with you. You dont want a partner who is elusive and only shares partial truths. You dont want to be with anyone who intimidates, bullies, threatens, or accuses you, ever. These are all red flags you should learn to recognize. I wish I could tell you to run if your boyfriend, fianc, or husband treats you this way, but I know youll stay in a few relationships for too long. Youll work hard to get yourself out of that cycle. One day you will find real love that makes you feel blissful and safe.

You will have beautiful babies, and you will love being their mommy. Always remember, for them to be happy and healthy they need to see you being healthy and happy, too. Taking care of yourself is taking care of them. Its okay to give yourself a break. Youre not only allowed, youre encouraged to have me time.