Sutter - Happily ever after: the life-changing power of a grateful heart

Praise for

Happily Ever After

As a two-time cancer survivor and cofounder of the charity organization Grassroot Soccer, I know the undeniable value of gratitude. Whether you are giving or receiving, Happily Ever After shows us what I have come to accept as truthin order to fully live a happy life, you must acknowledge the gifts that life has to offer and be thankful for all of them... big and small.

ETHAN ZOHN, 2002 winner of Survivor: Africa

This book is a wonderful reminder that in everything we do we should give thanks. From the beautiful life-changers to the everyday little things to the struggles that break us down, EVERYTHING is a gift and its important for us to acknowledge that.

ALI LANDRY, mom, actress, and Miss USA 1996

Happily Ever After is profound, passionate, and practical. These stories of gratitude will move, inspire, and touch youyou will not be able to live your life the same way.

LEE M. BROWER, Founder, Empowered Wealth, LC, Business Family Coach, author, speaker, and featured teacher on gratitude in the book and movie The Secret

Trista is someone who exudes light and joy, and Im grateful that shes harnessed some of that for this uplifting, full-of-healthy-tidbits book about the importance and fun of having an optimistic view of the world. Thanks, Trista!

KIMBERLY WILLIAMS-PAISLEY, actress, director, writer, and mom

HAPPILY

EVER AFTER

TRISTA SUTTER

A MEMBER OF THE PERSEUS BOOKS GROUP

Copyright 2013 by Trista Sutter

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. For information, address Da Capo Press, 44 Farnsworth Street, 3rd Floor, Boston, MA 02210

Designed by Linda Mark

Set in 11.5 point ITC Usherwood Std by the Perseus Books Group

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Sutter, Trista.

Happily ever after : the life-changing power of a grateful heart / Trista Sutter.

pages cm

ISBN 978-0-7382-1666-9 (e-book)

1. Gratitude. 2. Happiness. 3. WomenPsychology. I. Title.

BF575.G68S98 2013

179'.9dc23

2013025477

First Da Capo Press edition 2013

Published by Da Capo Press

A Member of the Perseus Books Group

www.dacapopress.com

Da Capo Press books are available at special discounts for bulk purchases in the US by corporations, institutions, and other organizations. For more information, please contact the Special Markets Department at the Perseus Books Group, 2300 Chestnut Street, Suite 200, Philadelphia, PA 19103, or call (800) 810-4145, ext. 5000, or e-mail .

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

DENIS WAITLEY

Contents

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.

Have you used one to say thank you?

WILLIAM A. WARD

B EFORE APPEARING ON THE BACHELOR I WAS A SINGLE girl living in the exciting world of South Florida. I had great friends, a supportive family, and two demanding jobs: I spent my days working as a pediatric physical therapist at Miami Childrens Hospital, and my nights rehearsing or performing as a Miami Heat dancer.

My schedule was full, and I was doing what I thought I loved, but I felt empty and bored. Then one night fate spoke to me through my television. I was watching the entertainment-news show Extra, trying to unwind after a long day at the hospital, when a Hollywood casting director came on to talk about a new reality show. I had been a fan of The Real World, but this new show wasnt just a social experiment recorded for the world to see. It was about one guy getting to know twenty-five girls in the hope of finding a fiance. Thats right... one guy, twenty-five girls. Obviously a little crazy, but when the casting director mentioned international travel and luxurious living quarters, I figured it would surely beat my lonely apartment.

As hockey great Wayne Gretzky once said, You miss 100 percent of the shots you dont take, so I headed straight to my computer to type in the link that had flashed on the screen. What was the worst that could happen? If they rejected my application, I would just continue living in my unhappy rut, hoping to find a way out.

For a few weeks, I did just that. But then the casting people called asking for a video, photos, and eventually a face-to-face meeting. After a slew of interviews and tests, including blood work and incredibly long psychological exams, I got the news that they were actually interested in little ol me joining their upcoming adventure. They liked me. They really liked me. (SorryIve always loved Sally Field.) Now all that was left to do was ask for a leave of absence from the hospital (which was thoughtfully granted) and make sure I had everything I needed for a couple months away.

Going into it, I had no intention of falling in love with a stranger I would know for only six weeks and whom I would be sharing with twenty-four other ladies, but as the days passed, my mind-set changed. I got to know more and more about Alex Michel, and I liked what I learned. In real life, I wouldve done as I usually did: take it slow. But in this situation, there wasnt a job to report to or basketball games to perform at, gossip sessions on the phone with my girlfriends, visits to the gym, or even couch time in front of the TV to take up my downtime. This relationship was my focus, and I actually quite enjoyed it.

In early 2002, I found myself visiting fantasy suites, taking helicopter rides, traveling to exotic destinations, and enjoying the glamorous world of professional hair and makeup. Alex was a good conversationalist, highly educated, nice-looking, and well traveled: all things I was looking for in a partner. It seemed as though we had similar values and goals, and I grew increasingly intrigued.

Two days before we were to tape the ending of the show, we had our last date. There was still one other girl left, and their time together was scheduled for the next evening. I wanted to know where I stood in comparison to her, so I asked him. Point-blank.

He told me that if he had to make a choice at that very moment, he would choose me. (Duhwhat else was he going to say?)

I left that night with the utmost confidence that his feelings wouldnt change, no matter what happened on his date with the other remaining woman.

Two nights later, I walked down the pathway to the final rose ceremony. True, I had known this guy for only six weeks, but we had developed a real connection and I was fully prepared to get engaged. It wasnt a joke to me. It wasnt a way to launch my acting career or a new business. It was my life.

Standing across from Alex, I listened intently to the words that came out of his mouth. He started out by telling me how much he enjoyed our time together. Then there was a pause. I thought it was a lead-up to a proposal, but boy, was I ever wrong! Instead, he told me that our story was coming to an end, and that he was sorry.

Dagger to the heart, and on national television! I was destroyed. The crew filmed me and my tears in what would become a classic Bachelor scene: the runner-up crying her eyes out in the back of the exiting limo, signifying the end to their reality show journey.

Im okay, I said. Im just sad.

I soon realized that I didnt believe my own words.