Laura Lane - This Is Why Youre Single
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- Book:This Is Why Youre Single
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- Publisher:Schwartz Books Pty. Ltd.
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- Year:2015
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Whether youre falling for that man child for the fifty-seventh time or text messaging your way to stalker status, dating can make you want to find a nice roomy hermitage on Airbnb and live a solitary, monk-like life.
Luckily, that frustration ends now.
This Is Why Youre Single breaks away from your typical dating guide by taking a page from Aesops playbook with hilarious modern-day dating fables paired with advice, entertaining quizzes, graphs, and illustrations. Dating will feel a whole lot more doable, a little less weird, and, well, actually pretty fun.
I loved it. Its really funny and makes me very happy that I havent been single in 21 years ... Buy this book. Joel McHale, star of Community and host of E!s The Soup
Its like hanging out with your most-trusted best friendand it would have stopped me sending a lot of embarrassing texts. Meghan McCain, author of America, You Sexy Bitch and FOX News contributor
Serious laughs and lessons throughout. Jordan Carlos, panelist on MTVs Girl Code and reporter on Comedy Centrals The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore
Like the honest, sarcastic big sister you never had. Kate Hogan, Deputy Features Editor at People.com
As a Bachelor reject, I say spare yourself a national breakdown ... dont go on The Bachelorread this damn book. Jenna Burke, ABCs The Bachelor contestant, season 16
Being single has never looked this frightening. Or fun. Weekly Review
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Laura and Angela wrote the fuck out of this book. I loved it. Its really funny and makes me very happy that I havent been single in 21 years. If you want to laugh and find out whats wrong with you, buy this book.
Joel McHale, star of Community and host of E!s The Soup
I wish I had this book to run home to after every bad date Ive ever been on and laugh. Its like hanging out with your most-trusted best friendand it would have stopped me from sending a lot of embarrassing texts.
Meghan McCain, author of America, You Sexy Bitch and FOX News contributor
A new take on old dating issues and sound advice on all of the crazy new oneslike the honest, sarcastic big sister you never had. Keep it on hand until youre happily on your honeymoonthen do your single girlfriends a favor and pass it along.
Kate Hogan, Deputy Features Editor at People.com
As a Bachelor reject, I say spare yourself a national breakdown and buy this book! Modern-day dating makes it very easy to F up any relationship before its even started, but theyve figured it out. God bless. Dont go on The Bachelorread this damn book.
Jenna Burke, ABCs The Bachelor contestant, season 16
Serious laughs and lessons throughout. Aside from B.O., this book articulates why you keep finding yourself alone on national holidays!
Jordan Carlos, panelist on MTVs Girl Code and reporter on Comedy Centrals The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore
A hilarious and original take on dating with sketch-inspired stories and advice And no, I have never dated either of them.
Ali Farahnakian, founder of the Peoples Improv Theater and former Saturday Night Live writer
Laura and Angela are not only funny writers, but wonderful human beings. We like them so much that we are personally endorsing their work even though they refused to give us any money.
Jake and Amirs Jake Hurwitz and Amir Blumenfeld
Read this book if you want to get over yourself and under someone better.
Dr. Alex Schiller, author of Never Sleep Alone
An entertaining ride through some of the curiosities and headaches of modern dating, with scenes inspired by real-life dating in New York.
The Wall Street Journal
Find joy in laughing at these two girls and their ridiculous reasons for being single. They have all the same reasons you have probably thought of, but to scary extremes your sane mind would never let you get to.
StageBuddy
Published by Nero,
an imprint of Schwartz Publishing Pty Ltd
3739 Langridge Street
Collingwood VIC 3066, Australia
www.nerobooks.com.au
First published by Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.,
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322, U.S.A.
Copyright Laura Lane and Angela Spera 2016
Laura Lane and Angela Spera assert their right to be known as the authors of this work. The right of Laura Lane and Angela Spera to be identified as Authors of this Work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior consent of the publishers.
National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:
Lane, Laura, author; Spera, Angela, author.
This is why youre single / Laura Lane, Angela Spera.
9781863958073 (paperback)
Dating (Social customs)
Interpersonal relations.
Wit and humor.
646.77
Cover design by Frank Rivera.
Cover image Armando Zubieta.
Interior illustrations by Lucie Rice.
Interior design by Elisabeth Lariviere.
Dedicated to the people weve had relationships, hookups, makeouts, disappointments, and one-night stands with, including the Olympian, chemist, famous actor, Frenchman, fisherman, fireman, film critic, trust funder, student body president, poker champion, skydiver, surfer, stand-up, magazine editor, newspaper editor, model, minor league baseball player, teacher, teachers assistant, part-time professor, Ivy Leaguer, two paparazzi photographers, Jesus in a high school production of Godspell, Gillette commercial actor, runner-up on Survivor, production assistant, professional athlete, politician, revolutionary, DJ, doctor, lawyer, veterinarian, bartender and his bi-curious girlfriend, Hollywood screenwriter, accountant, artist, sommelier, talent agent, press secretary, yacht designer, cellist, and state park employee.
You can read opinion pieces on the state of monogamy, listicles illustrating the plight of the single girl GIF by GIF, and studies on the evolution of mating trendsit seems everyone has an opinion on just why it is you are single.
In the following chapters, you will find yourself in a few familiar relationship scenarios, and some less familiar: in a covert meeting with a private eye to background-check a new date; in an intervention for your FOMO; in a pitch meeting with advertising executives to rebrand your dating profile; in a love tryst with a beloved holiday icon; looking for love in the Witness Protection Program; in a nature documentary studying mating patterns at a bar; and figuring out what this is while being held hostage in a bank heist.
What do these stories have to do with your love life? They are the real reasons youre single.
Just like how your childhood teacher read you the story of The Tortoise and the Hare rather than bluntly tell you not to be a cocky little shit and the story about The Boy Who Cried Wolf to teach you that if you lie you will get eaten by a rabid animal, we take a page from Aesops playbook and present to you these modern-day dating fables. Or dables!
Whether youre looking to lock down that second date, third marriage, eighty-seventh text message, or first three-way, the morals you take away from each chapter will make dating a whole lot more doable, a little less weird and, well, actually pretty fun.
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Youve gone on two dates with Derek, who you refer to as Dollywood, so nicknamed thanks to his combination of Tennessee roots and affinity for big boobies. He just texted you to ask if you want to go to his cousins wedding with him next weekend in Nashville. Holy shit, you chant over and over as you do a tiny victory dance on your bed. He thinks you are the perfect wedding date: great at meeting people, a fantastic dancer, an easy traveler, and a pretty face to present to his grandma before she dies. Your self-esteem is through the roof.
Then you pause. And you reflect.
A third date is serious business. Meeting the family is even more serious business. And traveling? Is a third date with Dollywood necessarily a good thing? Hes been a hot and cold cocktail of sweet gestures (he sent you chicken soup on Seamless when you were sick) and red flags (he didnt tip!).
You ask the first person you come into contact with for advice.
Its like, do I actually even like him? Could I see myself having his Dollywood babies some day? Do you think I should go?
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