Haden - The motivation myth: how high achievers really set themselves up to win

Theres an old saying, You never want to meet people you admire because in real life they will only disappoint. In the last few years Ive met dozens of incredibly successful people and found that nothing could be further from the truth.

A famished Richard Branson apologized for having a sandwich delivered during our interview; then he offered me half, saying he wouldnt be able to eat unless I joined him. Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammetts management rep told me we had twenty minutes max for our interview. Kirk winked at me and did forty great minutes. Then he hung out and met other Inc. staffers. Then he invited my wife and me to see the band perform at Webster Hall. (Best show ever.) Seven-time NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson sat down to talk, even though he was two hours past his scheduled departure time, because he knew I had waited. (And then he set me up with his triathlon trainer, Jamey Yon.)

Actor Clive Standen fills every moment of his workday so that when he is home, hes home. His definition of success is being a good husband and father. Joe Gibbs, Super Bowlwinning coach and NASCAR championship team owner, gave every member of the video crew a signed copy of his book Game Plan for Life because he hoped it would make a small difference in peoples lives. Dany Garcia, who with Dwayne The Rock Johnson cofounded Seven Bucks Productions, spent more time asking me what I do to be more focused and productive and how to accomplish multiple goals. She already knows what she knows; she wanted to know what I know.

Venus Williams is... well, Venus is absolutely delightful.

Mark Cuban stopped to chat with an unpaid intern who had spent six hours stuck in a chair at the far end of a lonely hallway. Eric Ripert hung out in the kitchen of Le Bernardin after a video shoot and talked shop; later, he treated my wife and me to the best meal weve ever had. Lance Armstrong is a guy Id love to have a few beers with (and I dont like beer). Actor Robert Patrick answered all my questions and then spent half an hour finding out about me. After learning that I live in Virginia, he said, Hey, Bobby [Robert] Duvall lives there. The next time Im up that way, lets all get together. (Hey, Robert: Gladly!) NASCAR team owner Rick Hendrick (who also owns more than a hundred automobile dealerships) shook his head when I thanked him for taking the time to speak, and said, I have nothing more important to do right now than talk to you. And I genuinely believe he meant it.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. reorganized his jam-packed New York City media day schedule so we could shoot a video interview together. Def Leppard guitarist Phil Collen is a great musician and an even nicer guy. If its possible to be a more humble and self-deprecating multi-platinum artist and Grammy Award winner than Zedd, I would love to meet that person. Roger Penske focuses so hard on the little things that you would think he owned only one rental truck, not multiple businesses that generate $26 billion in annual revenue. If I was playing the What three people, living or dead, would you most like to have dinner with? game, actor James Purefoy is in my top three. (Hey, James: Ill buy!)

Thanks to each of you, along with others too numerous to mention, for being so generous with your time and your insights. And most of all, thanks for proving what many people unfortunately choose not to believe: that if you are willing to work hard and stay the course, who you are is more than enough for you to become who you really want to be.

Thanks also to my agent, Katie Kotchman, for believing in me before I did. Thanks to my editor, Leah Trouwborst, for doing exactly what I hoped: She dramatically improved my original idea and, better yet, made me think. The incredible team at Penguin Random House have proven, over and over again, that I chose the best publishing house in the world.

Special thanks to Eric Schurenberg, president and editor in chief of Inc., my online home, who has supported me through thick and thin. You may be the boss, but when I think of you, the first word that comes to mind is friend. Without Eric and everyone at Inc., this book would not have been possible.

Most of all, thanks to my kids, who are already better people than I could ever hope to be, and especially to my wife, Cynthia. Maybe the old saying behind every great man is a great woman is occasionally true, but not in my case. Far ahead of this decidedly average man is a great woman. Im sorry you have to drag me along... but I am eternally thankful that you do.